INT. BAR - DAY
Crowded. Hot women and men everywhere, mostly drunk beyond belief. I stand in a corner watching peeps from a distance, a smile on my face. A Gurl bumps into me. Hard. We'll call her Kayla. I look up, immediately recognize her.
I turn to a Guy next to me, hoping he can help a sistah out.
Me: "Hey, is that Kayla?"
He looks over at her and laughs. Ya know, one of those drunken, loud laughs. I wonder what is so funny to him?
Guy: "Yeah, that's her. She's hot, eh?"
Uh, yeah. Duh. Nice face, hot body. Gorgeous eyes. Danger, danger!
Me: "She's very beautiful, yes."
Just as I start to walk away, a famous lezzie approaches me. We'll call her Socks.
Socks: "Hey, you know Kayla?"
Me: "Kind of. Like eavesdropping, eh?"
Socks leans in closer, blocking Kayla from seeing me. What's going on here?
Socks: "When did you guys meet? And what did she say to you?"
What is this, 21 questions? Sure, I'll go with it.
Me: "Uh, we met a few weeks ago. She came over to me as I sat by the fireplace and told me she thought I was hot. And, that she wanted to take me home. I said no, of course. I don't go home with women I don't know, unless she's Selma Hayek."
Socks: "Okay, and what happened when you met her?"
Oh, she likes her. This is getting funny.
Me: "She texted me a lot in the following days, which I didn't like. So, I told her to please call or set up a date because I did not like texting all of the time."
Socks: "Dang, you're hardcore."
Me: "Naw, I expect what I deserve. There's a difference. All she had to do was pick up the phone when I called or call me. Simple as that. We had a date planned and she would never call. Strange. I thought she had a husband and kids."
Socks: "I feel you. But, to stick up for her, we were busy. I took her to a red carpet event. But, I do know that she likes you."
Me: "Look. I don't care where she was or what she did. Flat out, it's called being mature and respectful. I knew something was up with her from the jump though, which is why I didn't go home with her that night."
Socks: "You didn't go? Bummer."
Why do I feel like this is a trap?
Me: "Naw, I didn't. And when we had a date planned, I canceled after she wouldn't pick up my call or call me back. It's strange when a woman will only text."
Socks: "She's nice."
Me: "Yeah, so is Lindsay Lohan."
She laughs even harder. I'm glad I made someone laugh today.
Socks: "Damn. Well, she was part of my event that night anyway. She did tell me about you though."
Me: "She isn't for me. I don't have time for flakes no matter how cute they may be."
Socks looks back at Kayla.
Socks: "I don't fuckin' blame her. You're cute as hell."
Is she hitting on me?
Socks: "Do you mind if I fuck her?"
My mouth drops. What did she just say?
Me: "Wow. Um, that's not my place. I don't know her."
Socks turns around and yells over to Kayla to join us.
Socks: "Remember L. Boogie?"
Kayla: "Yeah, we met once."
As Kayla looks away, Socks leans in toward me.
Socks: "Do you mind if I fuck her, Lauren?"
Me: "Like I just said, that's not my business."
Socks: "Okay, cool."
Me: "Look, you guys seem great for each other. Kayla, you're cool and I wish you luck."
Kayla: "You, too, sweety."
I want nothing more than to leave before these women stick to my clothes like lent that I can't shake off. As I grab my Friend and jet out, I hear --
Socks: "Okay, so I guess I have to fuck her!"
What a bizarre conversation with someone I see around Los Angeles and on television. I guess it proves that everyone is insecure and deals with the same dating woes, right? Sure, I know we're all human, but I can't help but fall into the trap of sensationalism when it comes to this town and the peeps we see on magazines.
I am most proud of myself for listening to the voice in my head when I met Kayla. It told me to be cautious, but open. Sure enough, my intuition was right. I may not always be accurate in my way of thinking, but following my gut never fails...even when it hurts to do so.
No lie, Kayla is supa dupa cute, but not for me. Don't settle, folks, if it doesn't feel right. Listen to the most powerful tool you have: