Thursday, November 14, 2013

TRAILER for Single_Never_Married, A Web Show About A Dating Expert Who Sucks at Dating!

Hey everyone,

Please watch the trailer of my new web show, Single_Never_Married, about a dating expert who sucks at dating. I created and wrote the series, plus I star in it as well. "A dating expert who sucks at dating." It's only 60 seconds long! You have the time = )

Are you Single_Never_Married? Tune in and watch NOVEMBER 18TH on my channel called WillP TV! Below is the link:

WillP TV's website.

Thank you!

Single_Never_Married--My New Web Show!

Hello, peeps, it has been a while!

As many of you know I wrote a book with my father about dating called, How to Get Real About Dating: A Father and Daughter's Guide to Finding Love at Any Age. You can view the book's website here. It was a great experience to write with my father and I feel blessed to know him better.

A few months ago I decided to write a web show inspired by the book called, Single_Never_Married. I sent it to my now business partner, Angela Burris, and she expressed wanting to direct it. Since that moment not too long ago, we have been blazing ever since! The first season is shot. I also created several other shows and we now have a channel called WillP TV!

What is Single_Never_Married about? A dating expert who sucks at dating. It follows the life of Deon, a dating expert, who hasn't had much luck at love. She wants nothing more than to fall in love yet she's very afraid at the same time. I'm sure many people can identify with this = ) I am starring in the show and it's my first time acting. You can watch the season premiere on NOVEMBER 18TH by going to WillP TV's website here.

There will be content every week that you can watch and comment on. Feel free to check everything out and let us know what you think. I love feedback!

I'm very excited about the future and it was so much fun to act in Single_Never_Married. I am definitely a writer at my core but acting is cool. Please tune in and watch on November 18th! Thank you.

Monday, May 27, 2013

I'd Love to Taste My Food: Chronicles of A Food Addict.

We all get to a point where we feel absolutely gross. For you this may mean not showering for a few days, delaying a much needed hair cut, or going outside without lip gloss.

For me, it's when I'm wearing my I'M-A-FAT-ASS jeans. The ones that hang loose on my body and don't give me any shape because I want people to not look at me. For added effect, I also pair this with a baggy jacket and unbrushed hair. I didn't notice how rough I looked until I went on a scale in my parents' bathroom and screamed twice. First at the number I saw and second at how much I had let my appearance go.

At first I wanted to blame it on being single for so long (it has been almost three years since I had a, a real one, though I have dated). Then, I realized that had nothing to do with it. I was simply eating and drinking way too much as I said to my stepmother who was next to me in the bathroom (unable to see the scale).

And as I got back into my I'm-A-Fat-Ass jeans, I realized something had to change. Like, everything. Not just on the outside but on the inside. So, I got out a piece of paper and wrote, GOALS. The first thing on the list --

#1 Stop being a fatass and look at yourself in the mirror once a day. Then, I decided to join Jenny Craig.

That's right, I joined Jenny Craig to avoid looking like this one day:

Photo Found Here

Is this a major exaggeration from the size I am today? Absolutely. Is it a realistic fear? TOTALLY. Many of us out there--Food Addicts--are one Big Mac and McFlurry away from being huge. I didn't join Jenny Craig because I'm huge; I joined out of avoidance and fear. I could feel myself right on the brink of letting it all go and that, peeps, is lethal. That one thought as I was on the scale scared me so much that I called a local Jenny Craig immediately to make an appointment.

It was a relief getting the food and starting the program. I have to be real with you: I'd love to have some butter. Or, some eggs with bacon. Hell, even a little olive oil on my vegetables would be nice. Although the program is beneficial, I'd really love to taste my food. So far all I taste is cardboard with a little salt.

But it's better than being in baggy jeans and a large sweater all of the time. I may never be the skinniest biotch on the block, but I damn well ain't going to be the fattest. 

I'll keep ya posted on my Jenny Craig progress. Goal is 12 pounds. 

Friday, May 17, 2013

Dating: Stop Screening Me!

"I feel like you're screening me." 

"Is this an interview or what?"

"Enough with the questions already!"

I wrote a book on dating as most of you know (available on and, as I'm finding out, there is a lot I can learn in that area. Now, in the book I don't claim to be perfect or know everything; people in their 20s...we're a little bit of a mess to say the least. But, that can be said about many age groups. 

Here's the question I want to pose to the group (you): Do you think it's okay to ask questions on the first date, or save them for later on?

After a few recent dates and handful of women telling me that they feel like I "interview them" I have had to look within and ask myself this question. While I do think that no one should be answering questions during an entire date, it's also important to know the basics (or, the things that are important to  you). For me, I like independent, strong, and assertive women who have ambition and know how to pay their own bills. So, here are some questions that I like to ask on the first date:

Where do you work? I don't care where someone works. Just, dear God, have a job that allows you to pay your bills and not rely on anyone else.

Do you live alone? For me, I can't date a person who still lives at home with their parents. And, I do think it's a red flag if someone over 35 lives with someone else.

What was your last relationship like? This is a new one I've added since the last 4 out of 5 women I've met have had physical abuse in their prior romantic relationships. I definitely bounce if there's a history of this. 

Are you out of the closet and do you like public affection? I once dated someone who wasn't okay with holding hands or being touched on the streets of West Hollywood (one of the gayest cities in the country) and that was not only a sign of inner homophobia but just weird. And someone who is not out of the closet is simply not my thang.

Knowing this information right away prevents me from getting emotionally invested first and then feeling like it's too late to pull out because I like the person. Been there, done that and I don't want to waste time.

Recently I went on a date with a woman who is great. And for the first time, I felt interviewed. "Lauren, how many relationships have you been in?" "What's your five year plan?" "Do you see yourself living in another city?" "Are you spontaneous?" Although her assertiveness took me by surprise, I didn't mind it. That's why I think the answer to the above question I posed is: It depends on the person.

For you, perhaps any amount of questions makes you feel interviewed and turned-off. However, for someone like me I like the confidence and "I know what I want" mentality. For quite some time I dealt with women who lacked those things so I find it refreshing. It simply depends on what you like.

As my stepmother says, "There's no right or wrong answer." Do what makes you happy, even if it means throwing in a few questions...or not = )

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Can You Date Someone Who is Broke?

You know how this goes…

It’s packed in here. I’m in a corner chatting with a FRIEND over cocktails. We’re having, what looks like, fun.

Friend: I don’t know what to do. He’s cute and has a great job. Plus, his you-know-what is HUGE.
Too much information.
Me: Yeah, but if he isn’t romantic and you need romance, what are you going to do?
Friend: Well, maybe he can change. Maybe if I tell him enough he will get it and start doing really super hot and sexy romantic things like give me flowers. I’m too cute and young not to be wooed.
I take a nice, long sip of my glass of wine. She’s making me want to get very, very drunk.
Me: You won’t change him and he’ll end up feeling very resentful. People should feel accepted and good around the person they are with. If he doesn’t, he’ll eventually feel really bad about himself and give up. I’ve been there, regretfully.
Friend: Like, you’ve been the one to try to change someone or vice versa?
Me: Both. And even when I was trying to change the other person I knew it was wrong, but I thought it would create a different effect over time.
Friend: Whatever, you’re a lesbian. It’s different.
Me: Uh, no, it’s really not.
She pounds the rest of her drink. That’s number four. Her eyes start to spin a little, but she regains her composure.
Friend: Okay, I’m going to be f*cking honest with your right now. Don’t judge me.
Ha, like that’s going to happen.
Me: Okay. Shoot.
Friend: Besides his big you-know-what, I don’t want to let him go because he has a nice job. He comes from a family that has money plus he’s career driven so I know he’ll always be able to take care of me.
Me: Makes sense. But didn’t you say he doesn’t like to take you on trips…and that he rarely plans a date?
Friend: He’s Jewish, that’s different.
Everything’s different tonight.
Friend: I’m over dating guys who are broke, don’t have their shit together, or live paycheck to paycheck. Stability is hot. I like the fact that he is so focused on his goals. But, I totally want flowers, which I keep telling him. Ugh, but he gets the cheap ones. Ew.
Me: Let’s focus on what you’re saying is a need of yours. You need romance. If you don’t feel special with him, money doesn’t matter as much right?
Friend: I don’t know. I may need another drink to figure it out.
Me: Look at the pattern. You get resentful, tell him he’s not taking you out enough, he promises to do better, doesn’t live up to your expectations, and then you blow up and dump him. After a day or two you go back. This has happened, what, four times in three months?
She starts to look off in the distance.
Friend: He’s just so good in bed. Sorry, but that’s hard to just let go of combined with his money. He’s going to be rich one day. I know it.
Me: Wow, you don’t sound superficial at all. That’s sarcasm, by the way. Look, everyone has a currency. Like, if I’m dating someone who is broke but always cooks, makes an effort to do special things, and is affectionate in private and in public, then I’m cool. Currency is different for everyone.
Friend: Then what you’re saying is the currency I need is money?
Me: And romance, girl, which means your guy doesn’t have what you’re looking for unless you accept him for who he is and know that he may never be as romantic as you’d like.
Friend: Ew.
Me: I know. But think of the time and hurt you’ll save by figuring this out now. You like him--we know this. Do you love him?
Friend: Almost.
I laugh.
Me: Can you see a life without him?
Friend: OMG, stop asking me these questions. Just tell me how I can make him give me cute flowers and take me to Big Bear.
I sigh and order another round of drinks, now throwing in the towel. This conversation keeps going in circles. At least I can get to the point where maybe I’m spinning, too.

Everyone has deal breakers. For some, maybe it is the fact that a person is broke, or maybe that there is no intellectual stimulation.

Whatever it is for you, that’s cool. But, trying to change someone to fit into your expectations won’t get you the results you desire. That’s the real, on the real, for real.

Perhaps a better question is, Can You Deal with Their Currency? My Friend was so busy focusing on her guy’s lack of romance instead of what he brings to the table, which is shocking because he has checks in 9 out of the 10 boxes on her What-I-Need-in-A-Guy List.

I dated someone who didn’t communicate well. However, in person it was great. I got her undivided attention and she was very sweet. But when I wasn’t face-to-face with her, there was little to no contact. Texts weren’t responded to in a timely manner, she didn’t pick up her phone sometimes, etc. Instead of trying to change this about her, I just asked myself: is this a deal breaker for me? Do her other currencies outweigh this one incompatibility? Turns out, I couldn’t deal with it. So, I took a step back. I didn’t try to change her or complain about it, just let it go. What ended up happening was she improved communication on her own.

Sometimes you have to let people, or a situation, go in order to see what you really have—if anything at all. 

                                                      What's your currency?

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Does Love Have A Window Period?

There are moments in my life that flash by, others that stick like glue to my guts and my bones and the insides of my heart. And then there are those long forgotten, only seen in a dream – and then lost all over again. Some things fly away and some things stick forever. What moments we allow to come inside, well, that depends on how much we open our window.

Let’s go back to a time involving two people – one getting real, and one doing everything but that.
You know how this goes…

I sit on my bed snuggled in between a few blankets. Cozy is the word that comes to mind. A cell phone is to my ear as I talk to my FRIEND on the phone.

Me: “Thanks for coming to my party and basically doing everything.”
Friend: “That was basic. Cooking comes naturally to me. I’ve hosted Thanksgiving on my own a few times.”
Me: “Wow. That’s inspiring.”
Friend: “Yeah. So how’d your session go. Figure anything out?”
I gulp. That gulp that I do when I get a little nervous.
Me: “It went well. Just talked about my feelings and what my boundaries are right now.”
Friend: “And what was decided?”
Me: “Uh, not much. It’s a process.”
Friend: “Look, let’s get real, you know like your book. I mean I get where you’re coming from, wanting to be ready but I’m about to put you in the friend category. Just being honest.”
Me: “It hasn’t even been that long.”
Friend: “Doesn’t matter. My feelings are starting to get hurt and it’s making me feel sad. I’m a physical person who needs affection. If that’s not there, we’re just friends, which is okay. But it can’t be in between.”
My Friend’s clear needs take me by surprise. I’m not used to such frankness, such a lets-get-real approach. It feels grown and very scary. I straighten and rub my neck – another nervous quirk.
Me: “Uh, whoa. I didn’t know it was having this affect. I just want to be sure before doing anything on the romantic end.”
Friend: “I’m not trying to be rude but I don’t have time. This year I’m not putting up with any B.S.”
Me: “I understand that, trust me. But don’t you feel like it’s important to live in the moment?”
Friend: “Absolutely. This is different. I don’t like feeling like I’m not good enough or like I’m constantly being asked private things when you have no right, as a friend, to do so.”
‘Not feeling good enough’. My Friend’s words hit me and I suddenly understand what she’s saying and where she’s coming from. No one deserves to feel that way.
Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. So, I’m basically going to be on the friend list forever if I don’t figure it out soon?”
My Friend laughs one of her easy and sweet laughs. I smile, too.
Friend: “Not to give an ultimatum, but yeah. I feel like you’re special so I’ve been patient...I mean even having this conversation for an hour. My time is limited with work, reading, fitness, and my other goals. It’s all an investment to me.”
Me: “Got it. I understand where you’re coming from because I do believe that certain things have a window period. Sometimes it can shut quickly and can’t be open again.”
Silence. My heart starts beating a little faster as I feel fear creeping closer. What ifs run through my mind – no one likes to get hurt.
Me: “Okay, relax. Everything’s going to work out. You’re spectacular, the best, and deserve to feel nothing but appreciated. We will talk in person on Friday and get on the same page. Don’t worry.”
Friend: “Hopefully it won’t be too late. Just kidding, I’m looking forward to it.”


I close my phone and sit there, puzzled and floored all at the same time. After a minute or so, I start to wonder: Can someone be forced into walking inside the window and going in? Do some people need to feel a nice, cold chill in order to realize it’s better on the inside where it’s nice and warm?

At first I thought, “No way! It’s not possible to be cornered, to be pressured into a decision. But, then I thought about it more and realized that IT IS when the potential loss of something great is the other option. Suddenly, the thought of the window going down defeats the fear – sort of like a survival mechanism. (Don’t leave me out here all alone! Extreme, but you feel me). What seems blurry may become clear within minutes, seconds, hours, or days.

Perhaps the real issue is FEAR and learning how to quiet its thoughts. Perhaps when the focus isn’t on fear and it’s pushed to the side, only the truth is left. I think certain folks need to be pressured, thrive on it in fact; sort of like needing a deadline for a term paper in college. Sometimes, this brings out the BEST in people. On the other hand, there are those who can’t step up and continue feeding the fear when the pressure comes. One isn’t better than the other, right or wrong – just reality.  

In one way or another, love has a window period. I could feel it through the phone – my friend’s truth – and knew this person would close the window without hesitation, rightfully believing she deserves the best.

Then, shortly after getting off the phone, my heart stops racing and I slowly sink back into my blankets, realizing that I deserve the best, too.