Thursday, March 25, 2010

Life - Knowing When To Fight.

Two elderly sisters haven't spoken in over 5 years because of a $500,000 jackpot.

$$$$ + sisters + stubbornness = law suit

Rose Bakaysa, 87, and Theresa Sokaitis, 84, stopped talking after Rose won the lottery with her winning numbers. When Sokaitis found out about her sister's winnings, she told Rose that she deserved half of it. Apparently Rose told Theresa that she wouldn't see a dime and, after a huge fight in 2004, the two ladies parted ways.


I get it. Money is a beautiful thang. It can give you total freedom and comfort. It can buy you things and take you places you never imagined. But, it should never come between family...right?

And, if it does, at least fight over a larger amount of money, like $100 million. It's kind of embarrassing to cut anyone out of your life for such a small amount of dough...unless you have nothing to lose.

Perhaps Rose doesn't care about her sister enough to want a relationship. Maybe she's over trying and simply wants to live for herself. It's not nice, but it's okay if that's what she wants.

Young or old, we all go through challenges in life. We all fight -- winning and sometimes losing.

Only you know what battles are worth fighting for.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I'll Take the Cheater For $9 Million.

In North Carolina you can sue someone for cheating with your husband or wife, and that's just what Cynthia Shackelford did to her hubby's mistress -- Anne Lindquist -- for 9 million big ones.


I definitely like this story, it really Anne's fault? I mean, her husband is the one who flirted and, um, had sex with her. He had to be open to the idea of cheating for the woman to approach him. For example,

I was at an event last night where I was able to meet the Lakers team. Some of those men are married, like Kobe, Lamar, Odom, Fisher, and Farmar which you definitely notice by their body language and eye contact. They didn't talk to one woman unless she was old, married, or not hot. They aren't looking to ruin their marriage by chattin' it up with a pretty young thang.

It's obvious in their energy, body language, and actions that they aren't looking for a fling or part-time lover.

In most cases, when there isn't room for an opening, cheating doesn't go down. I think Cynthia's husband wasn't happy in their 33 year marriage, which is why he walked out on her. He made a choice to cheat and disrespect his family in that way, not his mistress. Too bad you can't sue his ass.

What do you think?

Friday, March 19, 2010

For All The Sandra B's In Da House.

It's true, Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock, the academy award winning actress, with a young woman who E-mailed him about being a tattoo model for his company.

(photo found here)

Is there really anything to say? It's disgusting and sad...and messy. I heard about this and I almost wanted to cry for her.

It wasn't like Tiger. When I found out about him, it was surprising and funny. More funny than anything else. The golf club. All of the gross woman he slept with. His bruised eye. The texts. I mean, heck, peeps debated all over the country about it, and got a good chuckle, too. I even bet some marriages were saved. "Hey, we don't have it as bad as Tiger and his wife...let's go to Paris instead of filing for a divorce."

But, what happened to Sandra isn't humorous in any way. Why? Because she's a nice woman who never let go, emotionally, to anyone until she met Jesse. She's never been in a huge scandal or hit someone in the face. Her track record is flawless. Sigh. Can you imagine what kind of damage this is going to have on her heart...her self-esteem...her Soul?

I'm angry. I feel like a protective younger sister, which is way strange for me since I don't even know this woman, but still...I feel for her. She was so genuinely happy with him. Anyone could see this, even from her most recent interviews after the Oscars with Oprah and Barbara Walters. Recently, with Ms.Walters, Sandra said a few words about being with Jesse:

"I finally feel like I have a home to come to."

Yup, a home that a tornado just rolled through and tore into pieces. And, it wasn't like she saw this thang coming. The sky went from bright ass blue to dark grey in a split second, and bam! It dropped from the sky, sucking up Sandra's heart and her Oscar high.

What can you say other than nothing? As her friend, what do you do except hold her and be compassionate?

How do we pick up the pieces after such hurt and heartache and start over again without carrying that into another relationship?

I don't have the answer because I really don't know and I'm trying to figure that out as well. But, I do think it depends on the individual. My hope is that, after healing from this, Sandra will open up to love again and attract a man who will have enough respect not to do this. I understand that she followed her heart and didn't disqualify Jesse from the man pool for having a different lifestyle. It was an inspiration to me that she was so open-minded, loving, and non judgemental. But, it's time to move on to bigger and better men in the future. Ya know, like ones who won't cheat for almost a year while their wife is making money for the family and trying to help you gain custody of your child.

Life's all about livin' and learnin' -- sometimes one heartbreak at a time.

Anyway, keep your head up, S. You'll be just fine.

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Marriage Ref.

Okay, no lie, this show is FUNNY.

Executive Produced by Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah, he's never on it, but that's a good thang!

It's entertaining, light-hearted, and interested. It doesn't delve deep or analyze relationships on an emotional level, but who really wants to watch that anyway?


Thursdays. Martha and Cedric the Entertainer are going to be on next week. Can't wait!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, When There's No Hope.

You know how this goes. I sigh --

I'm chillin' in a chair chattin' with some dope ladies. The discussion is heavy, and so are our spirits. The recession has been tough, combined with other life shiznit.

Woman 1: "I'm losing everything. My home, my job, my car, and maybe even my dogs. I can't believe this is my life. I am educated and have always had an amazing job."
She looks down. I wish there was something to say or do to make it better, but there isn't. Not at this moment.
Woman 1: "I'm already broke. My credit is ruined. I have nothing. I am so fu-king depressed I don't know what to do anymore. I started anti-depressants again, but they aren't helping that much...I'm at a loss for words."
Woman 2: "Isn't EDD going to extend your benefits? That won't save your house, but, I mean, at least it will keep you afloat, right?"
Woman 1: "EDD can kiss my ass."
The group laughs.
Woman 1: "I can't take being broke. I mean, I was at this point over 25 years ago as a young adult. I am not starting over in Los Angeles again. Hell no. I am going to move to Utah where I have family and try to regroup."
Me: "Will you be happy in Utah?"
Woman 1: "I can't think about happiness. All I can think about is how to keep the roof over my head and if I am going to lose my dogs. I am in constant panic mode. I am sick of it. I want to leave California and move on."
I go silent, left with my thoughts. It feels like she's running away. Like she doesn't want to face, as she would say, failure. The failure of looking at the house she used to own. The failure of driving past her former work. The failure of having to live in a small apartment paying over $700 dollars a month. And, frankly, I don't blame her.
Woman 1: "I'm devastated. I can't even get a $9 an hour job. Do you know how that feels for someone like me? Love hasn't worked. Jobs haven't worked. And, now life isn't working. I have to get away from this place and all that I've lost."
Me: "I hear ya. Sounds like the good thing is that you have an option. And, support. Even if you end up staying, which you may, now you're more aware of that."
Woman 1: "I still feel alone. Last week I felt like no one was there for me. Like how I felt when I was a kid. I don't like it. I need to be around my family. So yeah, you're right."
Me: "Feeling alone. I understand. And, that's all the more reason why you should consider going where there is love and support on a daily basis. Isolation can really turn out to be jacked up on our spirits."
Woman 1: "We'll see what happens. But yeah, happiness ain't on my agenda right now. I'm trying to figure out how to stop drowning."
The group goes silent, not knowing what to say. It's a tough time on many of us, some harder than most. I glance up at her and wonder if she sees how amazing and talented she is. And, if she sees that hope and happiness are closer than she thinks.

What do you say when someone is drowning?
What do you do?

Perhaps the best option is simply to be there for that person, emotionally. We all go through our ups and downs in life, including myself.

Who knows if my friend will bounce back, but at least she knows I am here for her. That we're all here. And sometimes, just being there is all the support we ever need.