Friday, May 28, 2010

New Book!

Hey there,

As many of you know I am working on a book about dating with my dad. It's going to be done in less than 4 months! Yay!

We're looking for a photographer and an artist to draw some pictures for each chapter (11). If you're interested or know of anyone, please E-mail me at --

Thanks! It's going to be great!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Marriage Rules

Marriage is no joke. I ain't in one, but I can see from a distance that it takes work, commitment, and patience.

It ain't for kids, though many tend to be.

In a recent article, a list of 9 "marriage rules" will help to successfully maintain your relationship. Let's break it down --

1) Never go to bed angry.
Sometimes anger makes things a little sexy.
2) Always be 100% honest.
Lying ain't cool, unless it's part of a sexual game.
3) Never vacation without one another.
How the hell do you get a break from seeing one another then?
4) If you fight, you're headed for divorce.
Fighting happens...but should never be abusive. Chris Brown activity ain't cool.
5) Once you have children, they come first.
And if you have 'em, get ready to pay not just for your health insurance, but their coverage as well.
6) You should never sleep in separate beds.
...unless you payed thousands of dollars for your couch. Gotta get your money's worth.
7) Partners should sync up their hobbies.
Maybe having a few of the same ones is a nice idea, but all of them? Hell naw. You gotta have your own interests, marriage or not.
8) If there's no spark, you're dead.
For some, they may enjoy the lack of excitement. There are peeps like this, and that's cool if they find the same in a partner...just don't ask my ass out. I ain't tryna be bored with ya.
9) Boring is bad.
Good point, but how do you keep it from not being boring when you're around the person all the time? It ain't like when you go home after a long day they aren't there. You have no free time away unless you go on that vacation alone, or with your friends..right?

To be real, these rules are beneficial for every kind of relationship. But, I don't know how realistic it is to sustain them on a day-to-day level.

We're all human and fight sometimes.

Or, don't want to have the same hobbies. Hell, I may want to sleep on the couch one night, especially if my stomach is actin' crazy.

Does this mean we're doomed for failure in relationships and love? Probably...or, not.

Truth is, no one can predict what happens in the future. You may follow all of these rules and still fall flat on your face and divorce after a few months. From personal experience I know the feeling of believing a relationship will last forever only to see it gone within months. That's why I try to live in the moment, knowing that marriage will come one day -- even if I break a rule or two.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

To The Left, To The . . . Right.

Life can be tricky, and it can be challenging. It can also be amazingly rewarding and fulfilling.


And to be real, sometimes we face tough choices. The right path can be a little hard to see, just like the wrong one.

(photo found here)

Whatever you're struggling with, allow yourself to feel what you're feeling.

Then, scream.

Then, breathe. Twice. Hella deeply.

And ask your heart, what the hell do you wanna do?

. . .

I guarantee it'll whisper something back.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Prostitutes and Streets and Home.

I live near broken roads
in between dirty fences and run down churches.
Oh...and prostitutes.

(photo found here)

Late at night, after work, I drive home.
And, sometimes I get scared.
You know, after the car's parked and there's no one in the streets.
Just me and the dark and my heat hot breath.
The pulse of my heart.
Breathing. Heavy.
Yet, when I look over my shoulder
I know it's okay,
because she's always there
he's always there
they're always there
Looking. Waiting. Watching. Protecting.
Even before they get into that stranger's car.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Chronicles Of A 20-Something - Reality.

It's hella windy, but I'm inside. Thank goodness. I sit down at a table with a Co-worker. She's 26 but doesn't look a day over 19. Her shoulders are slumped and she looks worried. Very worried as she punches numbers into a calculator.

I look over at her and smile. I can't help but wonder, "what the hell is she obsessing over?"

After a few moments, she turns to me.
Co-Worker: "I'm wondering how I can pay all of my bills this month. It's never going to happen. Or, I fear that it won't. That wouldn't be good."
Aww, she's so cute and awkward. I feel like giving her a hug.
Me: "Well, I'm sure this job will be enough with the hours they give us."
Co-Worker: "Yeah, but I have another job. I can't leave them high 'n dry."
Nothing like some guilt.
Me: "I'm sure they'll understand if you take a day off or two since this job is temporary. Plus, it pays good money, so you gotta consider that. But, you should be fine because we'll be working on the weekends. Your other job is during the week, right?"
Co-Worker: "Yeah, but I need two days where I can relax. Just for my sanity...ya know? Like, I have to take care of myself."
I lean in closer, making sure to listen and not seem like I'm judging.
Me: "You ultimately have to do what's best for you. But, gurl, the reality is you need money, right?"
Co-Worker: "Yeah, I do."
Me: "Okay. So, if you're taking two days off a week then you aren't making money, which can be the reason why you aren't able to pay your bills, what good will that do for you? In the end, you aren't really taking care of yourself since your basic necessities won't being covered."
She takes in my words, thinks.
Co-Worker: "I guess that makes sense. How many hours do you think we'll get here?"
Me: "Well, up to 36 it sounds like. And that's a lot of money if you calculate it."
She punches into her calculator again, reminding me of WALL-E in a strange way. As she does that, I begin mingling with other peeps. After a few minutes, she taps my shoulder.
Co-Worker: "I've figured it out, Lauren."
Me: "Cool!"
Co-Worker: "You're right. I don't need to be taking so much time off. I have to focus on working and, if I make more than I need, I'll just save it for the next month. Or, something may come up that I must buy."
Me: "Sounds like a good plan you got there."
Co-Worker: "You think?"
Me: "Hell yeah, gurl, you're smart."
Co-Worker: "Thanks!"
We smile at each other, feeling like we made a huge accomplishment. Maybe we did...

Let's break it down --

Facing reality ain't so easy.

It requires seeing the truth and forcing yourself to move those dark clouds of denial and fear to another sky. It's uncomfortable and allows No room for any type of fantasy.

Being in yours 20s, or just someone who is still struggling to figure out how to survive, requires patience. Some of us will continue on the path of I-got-no-idea-where-I'm-going while others will take another route, also called:

I got this.

Because, the reality is, that's the truth. If you believe, just f-ckin' believe in yourself, the world has no other choice but to eventually accommodate your ass.

Who really knows if you or I will make it each month. Maybe we won't, maybe we will. And yeah, some peeps are lucky and land an amazing job that they never leave. There are also many folks out there who don't even work hard, (Lindsay Lohan) but make a ton of money. Yes, this can be tough to swallow as we struggle, at times.

Ultimately, I think it's about the journey and the steps we take in our own big sky. No one knows the outcome, or has control over what happens. However, we do have control over whether or not we enjoy those steps that we do take.