Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dating - What is This, A Text Date?

Textin' is great. Totally. I just sent five in the past twenty seconds plus a few tweets. It's often easier to say a few words in a text as opposed to calling or E-mailing. And, let's be real, sometimes you just don't want to talk to another person over the phone or see 'em in person.

However

It ain't cool to get to know someone for the first time through texting.

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
I sit on my bed watching Oprah and playin' with my phone. It makes a loud beeping sound -- letting me know that I have a text message.

Woman: "Hey there sweetheart. How are you? How's the writing and your stand-up? I am doing well. Just cooking and working."
Me: "Life's good. Thank you for asking."
What exactly does she wants? I'm confused. She never called to ask me out on a date, but wants to now get to know me?
Woman: "So, tell me about you."
Me: "Um, I like wine."
Woman: "Cool. Me, too. I serve a lot of it where I work. What do you like to do for fun?"
I can't take it anymore.
Me: "Write, talk, learn, shop. Look. You're cool. But, I'm not a fan of this whole texting thang with someone I hardly know. If you'd like to grab some dinner, let me know. I'm open to that."
Silence...and she hasn't texted back since.

Question: does anyone like to talk anymore? I don't understand why it's so hard to pick up the phone.

But,

Let's look at this differently. Perhaps I could have lived in the Present moment and simply allowed myself to let go and have a pleasant conversation with a nice woman.

Deep down, maybe there's fear inside me. Maybe we're all a little bit scared of someone trying to get to know us. I think it's normal to want to put a guard up in fear of being accepted for who you truly are inside. To be real, I also think it's as simple as --

Sometimes people need time to approach you.

It's not as easy, I think, as calling and saying, "Hey, do you want to go out with me?" What if the person says no. Plus, now you're scared about the thought of a face-to-face date in which you're under a microscope for any and everything that you say. Rejection. The thought of it makes most of us want to cower under a pillow.

If I could go back, I'd loosen up. I would have gotten to know her and simply responded to her texts and allowed myself to be vulnerable. Now I have subconsciously said, "you're gonna have to work hard to get to know me, plus I'm going to throw up walls." Who wouldn't be scared by that and only want to text?

What do you guys think? Would you have continued to talk or said what I said?

1 comment:

faunia said...

Smile, simple... when there's no answer, just leave a message. If they're serious they'll call you back. :)

You're blog feels like that breeze of Ocean air that tickles a cheek when the sun is just coming up in the morning.