Monday, July 27, 2009

Dating - Cut Off Da Fat!

I sit with my Friend over a glass of wine.

You know how this goes --

Friend: "Why don't you talk to her anymore?"
Me: "Because she's not a nice person. And, when someone isn't nice, there's no need for me to know him or her."
Friend: "But, she needs people like you and me. She's hurting."
Me: "I hear you, but mama, I don't even know her. She's someone I see around at a club who showed me some major red flags. You don't have to agree."
Friend: "I just think you're too harsh sometimes."
Me: "I'm not willing to join her Chain of Pain. Doesn't mean she's not cool, but I can't waste my time on that when there's so much else I need to focus on."
Friend: "I guess I don't get it...or, I do but I just think it's not fair."
Me: "I'm all for being there for someone during hard times. If my family or good friend needs me, I'll be by their side. No matter what. But, for someone who I don't know at all. What's the point? I'd be an idiot to try to have a friendship with a person I feel is disrespectful and mean."
I take a sip of my wine, finding my words harsh but very necessary.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a patient person. I can deal with a lot of shiznit, but there are a few things I will not put up with: disrespect, rudeness, racism/prejudice, and Egotistical actions.

But, what I ask myself is -- why? And, the more I think about it, the more I sigh.

Self-protection. Yes, I'm as susceptible to hurt just as much as the next guy despite the hard exterior. In my opinion, it's kind of like someone who is hanging from a cliff about to fall and, to save their life, reaches out to you. In that split second, you have to decide what to do --

Reach out and kill both of you or don't and thus save yourself.

Yes, this is an exaggerated example, but I still believe it applies. To be real with ya, sometimes it comes down to choosing between peace or chaos. And, for me, I'm striving to live a life surrounded by positive, peaceful individuals, which is hard to do as a young person.


I must try my best. And yes, this may include choosing to not befriend everyone I meet. This where I think it's always important to remember that you come first. Not your neighbor, not your ex-girlfriend, not your talkative co-worker.

You, and only you.

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