Monday, March 30, 2009

Obama Goes Parental on General Motors.

Okay, President Barack Obama is flat out, after my father, the greatest guy on this planet. Today he asserted unheard of government control over the auto industry by bluntly rejecting turnaround plans by General Motors and Chrysler and forcing General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner to resign.


I don't care what anyone says. Our president is a bad m-f and I fully support him. He basically told General Motors to go screw themselves and that, if they want his money, they gotta follow his rules first. And the first rule is to get rid of the private jet flyin', over paid CEO since he's not helping the cause anyway. Seriously, Barack is a smart, honest, good human being.

It's refreshing and beautiful to watch after Bush. I feel like this man is going to change this country for the better in ways we will come to realize decades from now. As a young person, I feel like anything is possible again.

If only he could take a broom to the entertainment industry. We could use less of Lindsay Lohan and Octomom.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Lesbian Club - Pros/Cons

Going To A Lesbian Club

1) C**chie everywhere.
2) Usually a small number of butterfaces.
3) Always bound to see a famous person, usually from some reality show or "The L Word."
4) A great place for hot straight girls to go if they need some attention -- physical or emotional.
5) Have the hottest/sexiest Go-Go dancers and strippers (TruckStop).
6) Not many straight/gay guys.
7) Can always go home with someone, although they may smell very different in the morning.

1) Hormonal, moody pu**y everywhere.
2) They've all f--ked each other at least once in their head and twice in reality.
3) A fight will break out...almost always involving nothing at all.
4) You may see someone's mother with her new girlfriend.
5) Desperate 40+ year olds everywhere waiting to grab your booty.
6) Seeing the same goddamn women every week, also known as The Regulars.
7) Will always get a straight male tourist asking you for a kiss before he goes back to Greece or Azerbaijan.
6) Drama, drama, and more drama.

Valerie Bertinelli - Nice Body!

After losing over 50 pounds, Valerie Bertinelli's showing off her new body on this week's cover of PEOPLE Magazine. I am very proud of her and know that it was hard for her to lose the weight and will continue to be a challenge every day.

As a young person I also find this inspiring since I find it harder and harder to keep off the pounds. It takes effort, time, and strength to be disciplined and stay in shape.

(Photo found on )

I give her mad props and know she's inspiring millions of people around the world, including myself. She, like Adam Lambert, make me realize that anything is possible if you try hard enough and always dream big.

Go Valerie!

A Conversation - Bars and Lesbians and Wine.

I enter the bar, sit my black ass down, and enjoy a glass of cabernet. It's fabulous. After an hour or so some ladies show up and I watch them from a distance wondering if they're into women or not. Then, after a few moments, I order another glass of wine. As I'm doing this, a gorgeous woman comes up to me and buys it. She's white, dark black hair, 5'10, thin, and cool as hell. We'll call her Miami.

Miami: "Wine, eh?"
Me: "Yeah, sometimes I prefer red over white. Depends on my --"
Miami: "You're gorgeous. Just stunning."
I blush, wishing I could hide in between her red lipstick and bright brown eyes. A compliment never goes unnoticed by my cheeks.
Me: "Oh wow, thank you. And, thanks for the drink. Where are you from?"
Miami: "Florida. Why are you sitting here all alone? Waiting on your girlfriend?"
Me: "I don't have a girlfriend."
Miami: "Why?"
Me: "Because I'm picky. Don't like a lot of games."
Miami: "Do I look like I play games?"
Me: "I don't know."
She looks me up and down. I look away, not being used to such frankness. I feel like a Picasso painting being put on display for the first time.
Miami: "Sorry if I am making you feel uncomfortable. I can't help it."
Me: "I'm fine. What's your sign?"
Miami: "Aries. You?
Me: "Aquarius."
Miami: "How old are you?"
Ahh, yes, the question. The question that always gets me in trouble. The question that always makes women gasp and then walk away in disappointment. Here we go. I pause, not wanting to say anything. She can sense my hesitance --
Miami: "Oh, that bad, eh? What, you're 30?"
Me: "...I'm 23."
Miami: "Wow. Well, it was nice talking to you."
I laugh. A laugh that has nothing to do with being humored or really thinking something was funny. A more of a "knew it" laugh to myself.
Me: "I totally understand. It's nothing personal."
But, she doesn't get up. Instead we continue talking for a while. We talk about where she's from and what I'm looking for in a relationship and in life. Turns out she's not only 38, but also a nice person. By the end of the night, she gets my number and asks me out to dinner.
Here's what I predict Miami will do: I won't hear from her until maybe this weekend when she's slightly tipsy and less concerned about being attracted to a 23 year old. She'll flirt with me and ask me to meet her. More than likely, I will and kissing will go down. After that, she'll want to sleep with me. No. Hell no. A few days later, she'll send me a text saying, "I'd love to kiss you again." Then, I'll tell her she can on a date. She'll get scared by the thought of a date and I'll never hear from her again. End.

I never heard from her at all. A month later I saw her walking with a young girl. Turns out she had a girlfriend of over two years who isn't a day over twenty-five.
Intuition: it's powerful. I knew the moment I met her that something wasn't right. When you meet a guy or girl and it ain't feelin' okay, think about why that is and consider giving that some attention.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Barbara Walters - Too Old?

Word on the street is Barbara Walters is quitting "The View" this summer because she's feeling 'burnt out' lately.

(Photo found on


I think being 180 years old may have something to do with it, too.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Dating - You Asked Me Out, Right?

Let's say a guy asks you out. Do you expect him to plan the date?

I was asked out on a date and then, the night of it, asked to plan everything. This was my response:

Me: "Honestly, I expected you to plan out the date you asked me on. Would you like to reschedule so you have more time to figure it out?"

Okay, some of you may feel that is harsh. But, I think it's first date protocol.

I ask you out = I plan the date.

Isn't that the nice thing to do? I think it shows that I care enough to make sure we both have a great time. I can't help but feel like you aren't very interested if you haven't thought about the date you asked me on over three weeks ago.

I'm not sayin' rule out the person completely, but perhaps it's something to be cautious about.

If he isn't showing consideration now, what will happen when we're in a relationship? It's a valid question to ask yourself and one to keep asking for everyone you date.

Ever been with someone who showed a lack of interest and care, but totally turned it around?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A Conversation - Are Threesomes Okay?

So, a woman asked me out on a date last week. We are scheduled to go out tonight. After getting home from an interview today, I get this text from her --

Woman: "So, do you have any idea where you'd like to go tonight for our date?"
Lauren: "No, but I can figure it out if you can't."
Woman: "I'll have my husband figure it out."
I close my phone absentmindedly. What the hell is this chick talking about? Does it look like I want a freakin' threesome? Hell to da naw. I stare into the distance and before I know it, three long minutes go by as I figure out if I want to cancel the date or not.
Lauren: "Wait, you have a husband?"
Woman: "No. I'm kidding about the husband, momma. I have to get back to work. Talk to you later tonight."

Hmm, something told me she isn't kidding. Who the hell kids around about having a husband? No one...oh, unless ya got a husband, right?

I asked my friend what she thinks and she agrees. Says I should cancel the date. So, I send her a text back --
Lauren: "I can't make it tonight. Have a good day."

I definitely don't regret being honest, which saved me time in the long run and potential drama.

But, I'd love to know...what would you have done?

Fathers and Daughters - To Touch or Not to Touch.

Welp, just when you thought Hulk Hogan and his daughter's incestuous relationship could get even more perverted, guess your pretty faces again.

Brooke gave a spicy pole dance at the Ocho Calle Latin festival in Miami two weekends ago and guess who was in the audience watching...and drooling. Yes, the great Hulk. Her nasty, sun tanned father.

"Of course I was there," Hogan told Life & Style. "I try to make it to as many of Brooke's performances as possible. I support her and everything that she does."

Gross. So gross. If I was giving a pole dance feet away from my father he would permanently move to the North Pole. His ass would get so far from me that I'd have to send Obama to get him back in the same state. Hulk Hogan should not want to be anywhere near his daughter when she's half naked. It's disturbing.
I'm all for fathers and daughters being affectionate, but this is going a little too far...right?

Monday, March 23, 2009

LeAnn Rimes - Gay Husband?

Oh, snap. Perez Hilton reported that a woman claiming to be the cousin of LeAnn Rimes' husband says he's into the menzies --"I mean, there were so many situations that happened when we were teenagers… He's gay. He's been gay since he was probably five."

(photo found on

This made me wonder what I would do if I found out that the person I was with turned out to be the opposite sexual orientation. I would feel hurt and confused...and betrayed.

How do they not know if they like men or women? It's tough to swallow.

What do you think about this? Would you feel hurt or just glad that you're girlfriend or boyfriend finally told you the truth?

Dating - Does The Outside Matter?

Make-up may be my new true love.

It's beginning to become an obsession that I can't help but indulge. What's funny is the type of reaction I get from women and men when I have a full face of make-up on. And, when I have my hair down and out Angela Davis style.

Strange how the outside effects people.

Yet, it makes sense. Since all we have is the outside to go by, that's where we look. but, here's the question --

Why does make-up, clothes, and hair matter so much?

Why do these things attract a certain type of fella or woman who would otherwise not hit on you if you looked different the night before?

I think it's a hard question to answer. Because part of it is attraction, just basic attraction. But, part of it is also an image. Wanting to be with someone who will fit into your hot requirement.

But, let's face it, sometimes we can't help what packaging catches our eye. If I got a gold ring and it was wrapped in newspaper, I would be reluctant to open it. But, if it was wrapped in beautiful silver, slick paper, I'd be hella excited!

So, maybe we're like wrapping paper. Maybe it's all about how we package ourselves to the public. I don't blame people for it, because I am the same way.

But, what I've found is that no matter how beautiful someone is on the outside, that doesn't guarantee the same beauty on the inside.

What attracts you?

Word to that.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Recessions and Young Peeps and Jobs.

We're in a recession. That's for sure.

As I went on yet another interview this month, I realized that this whole being an adult thang is tougher than I thought it would be. Sure, everyone tells you --

"One day you'll have to get a job, ya know, and pay your own bills."

Sure, I've heard it, but it's easier said than done. I feel lost, as times, about how to get from A to B to C when I haven't truly learned the alphabet.

There are many young peeps in my shoes. Who did everything they were told -- worked hard, got excellent grades, stayed out of trouble -- and still find themselves in a hole. Find that they can't get a job or struggle to pay the bills each month without their parents' help.

This is a reality for many folks, young and old. But, for the peeps who are learning how to make it, such as myself, it's a tough time.


It's a great time as well. A great time for getting thick skin and reaching way down deep to see how strong we are. That we can survive and make it on our own.

I've been in California for a while now looking for work and it hasn't happened yet. But, that's okay. What has happened is that I'm discovering myself. I'm writing more because I have more time. And, when I stop focusing on how to get a job or pay the bills, I realize that I am happy.

Just because you may be broke and jobless doesn't mean ya gotta be unhappy.

I have another interview coming up next week, which is for an assistant position. We'll see what happens. Stay strong, all of you, who are struggling. There's hope.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Conversation - Does Age Really Matter?

Can two people with many years between them have a successful relationship?

I don't really know to be honest, peeps. I want to act like age doesn't matter, of course. I'm a romantic! But, the more and more I date older women and think about it, the more skeptical I am. I feel like the older woman or man will inevitably be condescending and have a "go-see-the-world" mentality, which can be very dismissive. However, you never know.

Everyone is different.

Now, one thang's for sure. Someone who is 12 and trying to date a 25 year old won't work. Plus, that's nasty...right?

But, I'm talking about someone my age who is in their mid 20s trying to date someone in their 30s. Can it work? I haven't been able to wrap my head around this subject. So, I've been asking my friends:

Friend 1: "A young woman has so many things to experience in her life that I don't want to take away from them. There is no replacement for experience. Because if I'm 43 with a 23 year old, I'm impatient with her mistakes. And, then there's that aspect of molestation which I can't stand."
I nod my head, thinking she's making excellent points except for the one about molestation.
Friend 2: "I think it depends on the people. I'm 35 and went out with a 38 year old. I thought that it would be awesome because we're around the same age 'n all. But, she acted immature as hell and never wanted to commit to anything."
Friend 3: "For fuck buddies it works, but not a relationship. Unless it's like love at first sight and your insecurities can't even keep you apart."

This is a big one. It ruins many relationships and keeps us from loving individuals every freakin' day. They make us think too much with our head instead of our heart.

I admire Lauryn Hill and her song, "To Zion --"

Unsure of what the balance held/I touched my belly overwhelmed/By what I had been chosen to perform/But then an angel came one day/Told me to kneel down and pray/For unto me a man child would be born/Woe this crazy circumstance/I knew his life deserved a chance/But everybody told me to be smart/Look at your career they said/,"Lauryn, baby use your head"/But instead I chose to use my heart/Now the joy of my world is in Zion.

She listened to her heart. What if we all were like that? What if we had a "screw it" attitude...maybe things like age and sex wouldn't matter...maybe we'd all be happier.

I remember watching After Sunset with Ethan Hawke and thinking how I don't want to be like him and the woman he's in love with. When they were younger they met in Paris and had sex twice. And, over the past 9 years, they've been too stubborn to find the other person. . . to just be happy and in love. And when they finally met after so many years have passed, when they both have lovers, it's just like yesterday. It's like a moment hasn't passed in the time they were apart. And, in the end, they end up getting back together.


We let it grab us by the throat and choke us everyday. Why not give in and see what happens, even if it means a massive amount of heartache?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Pablo Neruda.

After the rejection of this week I am back to my usual, motivated self. Met a woman who will one day be a huge part of my life. On that note, I'm feeling romantic and want to share one of my favorite poems with you:

"If You Forget Me"

I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

Friday, March 13, 2009

Dating - Getting Rejected.

"I don't feel like there's a love connection."

Those are the words I heard last night by a lovely woman, even after we kissed and had a great date. It left me feeling confused and hurt. But, I appreciated the honesty.

And, I appreciate how much time I saved.

To be real, when someone turns you down it doesn't feel good. But, knowing how the other person feels is great because it allows you both to be on the same page.

As I learn more about dating and what I'm looking for, I begin to realize that rejection doesn't reflect on how amazing I am as a person. It just means I ain't meant to be with that particular person.

This is a part of life. With some we'll have chemistry and with others, it may not be there. Are you dating anyone who you know, deep down, ain't the one for you? Consider breakin' it down and telling him or her the truth.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Song of the Week.

Who doesn't love music?

For me, it takes my mind off of bills, career, dating, and other aspects of life.

I let go and go on a ride of pure bliss and dopeness.

(photo found on

Jazmine Sullivan.

If you don't know her, consider checkin' her out.

Lyrics: "I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears/but I'm scared of loving you/I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair/but I'm scared of loving you/Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?/Why it don't last, is that too much to ask?/Why do we love love when love seems to hate us?/Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom/you say you care and I know you do/But, this is from my experience/and my conclusion only makes sense/Just 'cause I love you and you love me/it doesn't mean that we're meant to be/I can climb mountains, swim across seas/but the most frightening thing is you and me."

Her lyrics touch me, deep. Real deep. For some, she may not do it, but for me she does. I feel like I'm under a microscope being inspected by everyone who passes by when I listen to her. I feel naked. I feel like some one's been reading my skin. But, the skin I haven't read yet.

I think Jazmine's lyrics speak a massive amount of truth:

"I'm scared to try 'cause I'm scared to fail/I'm scared to die, 'cause I'm scared of hell/I'm scared to kiss, I'm scared to hug/I'm scared of sex, 'cause I'm scared to touch/I'm scared to look, 'cause I'm scared to see/I'm scared or you 'cause I'm scared of me/I'm scared to fly, I'm scared to crash/I'm scared to move on so I live in the past/I'm scared to fight 'cause I'm scared to bleed/I'm scared to love 'cause I'm scared he'll ain't human without fear."

What music touches you?

What's Your Dream?

Adam Lambert is fierce. He's talented and also happens to be gay.

As a young gay woman, he inspires me. This guy is going for his dream in life and I can't help but wonder --

What's my dream?

(Photo found on

Most of us were told how to achieve success --

1) Go to school
2) Work hard
3) Stay out of trouble
4) Get a job

But, who tells you how to dream and dream big? How do you know how to be strong and to keep going when someone says no to your face?

Adam proves that it's never too late, no matter what age you are. Yeah, it's not like he's 90 years old, but still. The guy has been through a lot and told he wasn't good enough.

How many times has someone told you that you weren't good enough?

We've all been there, right? To you, me, and everyone in between I say don't give up. Keep that dream alive and hold tight no matter what anyone says to you.

What's your dream?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Conversation - Dating and Scones and Hearts.

Question: Is it fair to say you won't date a woman because she doesn't believe in therapy?

I guess it comes down to the two peeps involved.

To be real, we all have deal breakers as far as dating goes, like --

Small Deal Breakers
1)Smellin' bad.
2)Missin' teeth.
3)Bad kisser.

Big Deal Breakers
1)They have a terrible addiction, to alcohol or maybe even with stealing things.
2)Can't trust you, not even to take out the trash: "what took you so long to take out some damn eggs?!"
3)They have huge anger issues and believe yelling is a part of arguing.
4)...the kissin' ain't getting any better.

We all have our thangz. Some we can deal with and some we can't. Perhaps, like me, some of you rule out peeps very fast. One of my good New York friends brought this up to me oen day:

Friend: "Lauren honey, that's not fair. You're moving too fast baby girl to stop dating her. You have to go slow. Get to know the woman over time."
I sip on my Pepsi One as I listen to my friend's words flying at me, all the way from where she sits in New York. Yeah, homegirl may be thirty years older than me, but I still disagree...and secretly wish I had a chocolate scone with my beverage.

Me: "Look, when a woman tells me she likes to yell and that she's not willing to go to therapy ever, why should I waste her or my time? We won't ever be able to work shit out if we need to."
Friend: "Because people change everyday. You have to give everyone a chance."

I look outside at the swaying palm trees underneath the blue sky. A feeling of sadness rushes over me like an ocean wave. I think of how she doesn't know of all chances I've given. To all of the women I've dated with the hopes of changing them. I sigh and take a big gulp of my soda. Maybe the Splenda will understand.
Me: "As my therapist would say -- you can't change people. There are over 6 billion folks in the world. Many of whom I'm sure don't like to fight."
Friend: "There's no guarantee of that."
Me: "Of what?"
Friend: "Of you meeting someone who fits your criteria and then having them not change. A person can go from nice to mean or non violent to violent. You can't predict life, sweetheart."
There it is. I think, is she right? My heart always does this. You know, turns romantic on me, wanting to be in the clouds all day. Wanting to believe you should go into any dating situation and be with an individual no matter what.
Me: "Well, at least if she changes on a sistah we can go into therapy."
My friend laughs. I laugh back, almost spilling the rest of my delicious one calorie drink all over myself. Silence as I continue looking out at the palm trees. I feel old for a second ...and overwhelmed by how much I miss my friend. Why can't New York be around the corner? Finally, my motherly amiga breaks the silence:
Friend: "Wish I had a chocolate scone."
Me: ", too."

I know we change all of the time. It's part of being human. I guess what's essential for me is to feel like the person I'm dating is open to anything. Yes, she may change after two or three years, but if we live by that standard than we'll either end up with losers or be too afraid to be with anyone.

Like a poker hand, all I can go with is what's in front of me. I may have a great hand, or I may not. It all depends on what I choose to do with it and if I want to take a risk. I may have three Queens, but they are useless if I decide to fold. I may have no good cards, but I could win the hand if I'm fearless.

Let's go all in.

Being Young and Making Mistakes.

Oprah is a smart woman. I think all peeps, young and not so young, should watch her every now 'n then.

On Friday's show, Oprah urged Rihanna to leave Chris Brown: "Heal yourself first...and remember that love doesn't hurt." She also advised the couple to go get counseling.

(photo found here)

I know we've discussed this before, but I feel like Rihanna should consider never talking to this guy again.

When a man puts his hands on a woman or vice versa, that's it. It's time to get the check and bounce. I don't care if you didn't finish your meal.

But, from what it sounds like, Rihanna more than finished her meal. She went back to the joint on multiple occasions. This is just the first we're hearing about it. I guess when the food's amazing, you can't help but keep going back.

To be real, I know love is hard and complicated. Sometimes you get yourself into really unhealthy situations without realizing it. I understand. But, when you are a role model to millions of young people you have to be smarter. There's a responsibility...right?

Letting this happen is basically telling women and little girls that it's okay for a man to hit you. It's telling young men you can disrespect a woman because she'll come back anyway. If I had a child who adored these stars, I would be infuriated with both of them. My heart would ache for my daughter or son. I would wonder where this country's headed. I would wonder if my child's self esteem could survive in this dog-eat-dog world where only a size 0 and a bruised face are appreciate.

Then I'd soften up and remember that Rihanna and Chris Brown, like me, are young peeps growing and maturing each day. And, with that comes making mistakes. I think the key is learning from 'em and not maintaining the same patterns, if they're negative, in our life.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Dating - Is it the City?

Friend: "So, Lauren, how do you like dating in Los Angeles?"

At first I thought to myself, "I hate it." But, then I wondered is the issue really Los Angeles or is this how it is everywhere? And then I realized that no matter where you are, dating has its positives and its negatives no matter what age you are.

Flirting is fun. And let's be honest, with dating comes mucho flirting.
It's a great distraction from work and any other issue that's going on in your life.
Get to see new places and do new things.
Everything is new and amazing since it's the first time you're experiencing it with that special somebody.

Information is always a little selective. You may not find out until a few months in that they have kids or a husband.
Gotta watch out for games. Examples: one day they're texting you non stop and the next they aren't. Or, they say they like you yet you can't get 'em to pick up their phone.
Most like to rush. Yes, the U-Haul lesbian syndrome is very true.
It's hard to tell what you're getting until it's too late (emotionally).

I've only been in Los Angeles for a little over a month, but it doesn't matter. The same issues I have with dating here are the same ones I had in New York.

When I lived in New York a woman came up to me in a club. It was probably one in the morning. She was a beautiful, tall dancer. White. In her 30s. She sauntered over to me in her white shirt and blue jeans, smiled as she leaned in toward me: "Hey, do you want to come home with me?" I remember thinking my tongue felt really dry when she asked. I felt like I couldn't swallow water. What's a sistah to say? Don't answer that, 'cause I will. I said no, but that I was willing to get to know her better.

A week. We've gone on a date. She's pretty cool. We hang out again and it's a great night. I remember we went to a french cafe at 2am and she promised she'd give me a ride home. I didn't want to get on the subway that late at night.

Woman: "Want something to eat?"
I scream in my head, "yes!" but shake my head "no." I don't want all of the calories or the stomach ache at this time of the night. She licks her lips, looks me up and down. I think to myself, what's she trying to do?
Me: "What's your plan?"
Woman: "What do you mean?"
Me: "I mean, like...well, you're here with me at 2am. A 20 year old. What are you looking for?"
Woman: "I'm interested in you if that's what you want to know."
I look at her, letting the silence eat the room. Tick, tick goes the clock. We're the only ones in the joint, but it's open 24/7. She squirms in her jeans. A waitress stops at our table, asks if she wants anything.
Woman: "I'll take a bacon omelet."
The waitress leaves. I keep looking, waiting. A few seconds pass ...
Woman: "I don't know what I'm looking for. I'm going through a lot of fucked up shit at home and, I don't really know what I want."
Me: "What shiznit?"
Woman: "Me and my ex. I still live with her."
Me: "When are you moving out?"
Woman: "I don't know. We're in therapy."
I lean back in my seat, take her in. She looks different. I suddenly want that omelet. Is it too late to order? I wonder if all the deception will take away my faith in love. I wonder why I'm sitting in a cafe with a woman who probably won't even give me a ride home like she promised. I think of all of my heartache over the years. I think of love and how I know I'll never give up...maybe?
Me: "Welp, that's interesting. Why haven't you let that go?"
Woman: "I am. It's just complicated. I broke up with her emotionally like a year ago. You don't understand."
I understand perfectly fine, actually. You got shiznit to work through. Who doesn't? The omelet arrives. She dives into in like Michael Phelps does a swimming pool. Has this woman ever eaten before? I want nothing more than to be in my bed right now. At least my sheets don't lie.
Me: "What's there to not understand. You haven't let happens."
Woman: "I know what I am. I know how I look to you, to her. There's nothing I can say. That's life. It's not easy."
Me: "I know it's not easy, but it shouldn't be this hard yo. Seriously. We're talking communication. Why the games. Why not tell me you aren't available?"
Woman: "I am available. Trust me."
I suddenly feel like I'm stuck in an Alicia Key's song. You know, one of the slow, hurt ones. My urge to leave is so strong but I stay. Later, after the omelette's gone and the clock's done a few circles, she drops me off at a friend's house. I remember thinking, as she drove off: "this city blows."
But, looking back on it three years later, I realize it wasn't the city. It's just people. We're all different and come in different shapes, sizes, and emotional states. It doesn't matter if you're in Texas, Australia, China, California, England, or New York. There will always be someone you meet waiting to be the love of your life, a great friend, or a major heart breaker. But, you know what, I learned from each experience, good or bad.
Yeah, dating's tough. But, it's also a beautiful thang. To me, it comes down to not giving up. It's about weeding out the bad to get to the gold. You gotta give a little to get a little, right?

Omelet time.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Dating - To Whip Or Not To Whip?

How rough is too rough in bed?

For each person, the answer is different. I'd say anything involving the following would rule me out --

-Wooden Boards
-Hair, really hard hair pullin'.
-Chains (well, wait, I change my mind)

(photo found here)
Don't get me wrong, though, getting pushed around in bed is nice 'an all. Even yelling is hot sometimes. But, if it hurts, that ain't cool...
Hell, what do I know?
I'd let someone cut my ass up if I was feelin' that individual enough. But, that would require some trust as well. Or, just a whole lot of sexual tension that needs to be let out.
Perhaps it's simply about what pleases you. Even if it means bleeding a little...or a lot.

Goodbye L Word.

Last night was the last episode ever of "The L Word."

I'll miss all of you...

and yes, Jenny. Even your crazy ass.

I'll miss all of the bad writing and great scenes. I'll miss all of the drama. I'll miss the backstabbing. Bette and Tina. Gosh, I'll miss their love scenes. I'll miss Shane and her antics. I can't tell you how much it meant to have this show on television. I know it changed the lives of mucho young folk.

To be able to watch a show full of lesbianic ladies dealing with real issues that we face everyday= priceless.

It's the type of thing you don't realize you miss until a year later. I'm proud to have been alive to watch this show from the beginning. Thank you Ilene Chaiken.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Dating - Red Flags!

Question: What do you do when you're dating a great person, but you see red flags blinding your vision?

Now, I'm not talking about the kind of red flags where the person kills some folks or robbed their mother. That's an automatic disqualification.

Here's what I mean:
*You like to communicate and express your feelings and they "don't believe in that crap."
*You want kids, but they hate 'em. May even think kids are no better than the devil.
*You're financially independent and they have no intention of ever spending any money other than their parents.

These are things that don't seem to matter at first because everything is wonderful. He or she can do no wrong. You guys never fight and it's all about taking each others clothes off and forgetting the rest. I get it. I'm a sucka for a nice rack and a big booty. But, what do you do after six months when you're not always having sex?
What do you do when you're on the first date sitting across from the person you're interested in and they say, "I'm really focused on work and everything else takes a backseat?" Here are the options:
(A) Get up and leave.
(B) Smile, finish the meal, and never talk to the person again before you get hurt.
(C) Say it doesn't matter and proceed to fall madly in love.

You're free to pick whichever one you want, but I'm definitely going with option (B). Yes, I've only known this person for a little amount of time and yes, this may be our first date, but I can't handle not getting the attention I deserve. Obviously this is easier said than done because I find myself in this predicament.

I met a woman recently and had a nice date with her. But, she's completely consumed by work and barely has time to breathe. In the weeks that I've known her, when I send a text, either she takes a day to respond or doesn't respond at all.

She is best friends with her ex-girlfriends. Now, I'm all about being on good terms and friends with previous partners, but not besties.

But, let's really break it down. We can save ourselves a lot of hurt if we walk away at the first sign of incompatibility. I'm not one to talk, trust me, but I'm getting better at listening. Bottom line is, it's hard to leave when our heart is saying otherwise. But, is it worth falling into a pile of hot coals and melting away when you shouldn't have jumped in the first place?

Some will say that the scars are worth it. Others, bitter and resentful for getting their hearts broken, will say the opposite. I say love. Love hard. But, you can love hard and be smart about it. When you see that red flag, take a moment to ponder. Wonder if it's worth overlooking and dealing with after you've fallen in love or perhaps make yourself peace the hell out and run away. There are over 6 billion people in the world. Many of them without any flags.

But, just because it's red doesn't mean you have to stop. However, be prepared to pay the ticket if you get caught...

What's On Your List?

Yo, I forgot to post this pic of me and Derek Fisher (one of the Lakers).

I think, if I dated men, I'd go for him. He's more my height and dresses right!

Being next to him made me realize I like someone with good manners. He's a true gentleman and it shows from his history on teams and in his family.

So, good manners is going on my list of Musts when it comes to dating. What's on your list?

Robin Williams Going Under Da Knife!

Chop, chop.

(Photo found on

Robin Williams will undergo open heart surgery for an aortic valve replacement. Let's wish him well, folks.

On the real, I'm surprised. He's so young. Dang, does it really all go down hill by the time you're 50 or so?

It makes me want to go running everyday and start to take salt out of my diet, like that judge on American Idol.

I'm young now, but dang, what's going to happen in the future when I am older and the world is even more polluted not to mention all of the extra chemicals I'm sure we'll see being put into our food.


Who am I kidding? I can't predict life. I may die tomorrow, or I may live 110 years. So, maybe living in fear isn't the best idea.

Off to get a cheeseburger.

Friday, March 6, 2009


Being friends with an Ex. . . does it work?

I Should Be Blind.

Welp, American Idol announced this season's top 13 finalists. One of them being Scott MacIntyre, a charming blind guy.

(Photo found on

Sigh. It breaks my heart to say it. Okay, no, it actually doesn't. Straight up, he can sing as good as he can see. I can't help but ask myself, what's it all about, Alfie?

Was it out of pity, guilt, or not wanting to feel bad if he was kicked off that he's still on? You know the judges were like, "if we don't put this fool on the show, we'll get sh*t from America and our mothers."

To be honest, peeps, I can't say that I wouldn't do the same thing. I'm all about not going to bed feeling guilty. The fool can't see and he has the courage to come on American Idol, one of the most judgmental and scariest shows to be on (after True Beauty and The Bachelor). I'd look at Scott and give him the whole, "you're going to Hollywood" line and leave it to America to vote him off. I don't want the guilt when I go to the grave that I was the one who took a vision impaired man's dream away.

Maybe because we know, deep down, that he can see us. . . if we're willing to look.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Lakers - Volunteer.

So, I had a great time yesterday. Got some sun at the Riviera Country Club in Pacific Palisades and offered my time for a good cause.

Being young and willing to give your free time has its perks.

Me and the Laker Gurls.

Me and Sun Yue

Me and Phil Jackson

Me and L.A.'s main Wheather Girl

Me and Luke Walton

Me and Kobe Bryant

Me and Sasha Vujacic

Me and Lamar Odom

Me and Andrew Bynum

Me and Pau Gasol

Me and Guy from Talk Soup (Joel McHale)

Me and A few Lakers Championship Trophies

Me and James Worthy
Me and Kenny Lofton (famous baseball player)

I had a great time!

Volunteering is a great way to meet peeps and network. If you're single and young, consider joining popular organizations and giving your time to charity events. You'll meet folks and have fun as well.