Saturday, March 7, 2009

Dating - Red Flags!

Question: What do you do when you're dating a great person, but you see red flags blinding your vision?

Now, I'm not talking about the kind of red flags where the person kills some folks or robbed their mother. That's an automatic disqualification.

Here's what I mean:
*You like to communicate and express your feelings and they "don't believe in that crap."
*You want kids, but they hate 'em. May even think kids are no better than the devil.
*You're financially independent and they have no intention of ever spending any money other than their parents.

These are things that don't seem to matter at first because everything is wonderful. He or she can do no wrong. You guys never fight and it's all about taking each others clothes off and forgetting the rest. I get it. I'm a sucka for a nice rack and a big booty. But, what do you do after six months when you're not always having sex?
What do you do when you're on the first date sitting across from the person you're interested in and they say, "I'm really focused on work and everything else takes a backseat?" Here are the options:
(A) Get up and leave.
(B) Smile, finish the meal, and never talk to the person again before you get hurt.
(C) Say it doesn't matter and proceed to fall madly in love.

You're free to pick whichever one you want, but I'm definitely going with option (B). Yes, I've only known this person for a little amount of time and yes, this may be our first date, but I can't handle not getting the attention I deserve. Obviously this is easier said than done because I find myself in this predicament.

I met a woman recently and had a nice date with her. But, she's completely consumed by work and barely has time to breathe. In the weeks that I've known her, when I send a text, either she takes a day to respond or doesn't respond at all.

She is best friends with her ex-girlfriends. Now, I'm all about being on good terms and friends with previous partners, but not besties.

But, let's really break it down. We can save ourselves a lot of hurt if we walk away at the first sign of incompatibility. I'm not one to talk, trust me, but I'm getting better at listening. Bottom line is, it's hard to leave when our heart is saying otherwise. But, is it worth falling into a pile of hot coals and melting away when you shouldn't have jumped in the first place?

Some will say that the scars are worth it. Others, bitter and resentful for getting their hearts broken, will say the opposite. I say love. Love hard. But, you can love hard and be smart about it. When you see that red flag, take a moment to ponder. Wonder if it's worth overlooking and dealing with after you've fallen in love or perhaps make yourself peace the hell out and run away. There are over 6 billion people in the world. Many of them without any flags.

But, just because it's red doesn't mean you have to stop. However, be prepared to pay the ticket if you get caught...

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