I enter the bar, sit my black ass down, and enjoy a glass of cabernet. It's fabulous. After an hour or so some ladies show up and I watch them from a distance wondering if they're into women or not. Then, after a few moments, I order another glass of wine. As I'm doing this, a gorgeous woman comes up to me and buys it. She's white, dark black hair, 5'10, thin, and cool as hell. We'll call her Miami.
Miami: "Wine, eh?"
Me: "Yeah, sometimes I prefer red over white. Depends on my --"
Miami: "You're gorgeous. Just stunning."
I blush, wishing I could hide in between her red lipstick and bright brown eyes. A compliment never goes unnoticed by my cheeks.
Me: "Oh wow, thank you. And, thanks for the drink. Where are you from?"
Miami: "Florida. Why are you sitting here all alone? Waiting on your girlfriend?"
Me: "I don't have a girlfriend."
Miami: "Why?"
Me: "Because I'm picky. Don't like a lot of games."
Miami: "Do I look like I play games?"
Me: "I don't know."
She looks me up and down. I look away, not being used to such frankness. I feel like a Picasso painting being put on display for the first time.
Miami: "Sorry if I am making you feel uncomfortable. I can't help it."
Me: "I'm fine. What's your sign?"
Miami: "Aries. You?
Me: "Aquarius."
Miami: "How old are you?"
Ahh, yes, the question. The question that always gets me in trouble. The question that always makes women gasp and then walk away in disappointment. Here we go. I pause, not wanting to say anything. She can sense my hesitance --
Miami: "Oh, that bad, eh? What, you're 30?"
Me: "...I'm 23."
Miami: "Wow. Well, it was nice talking to you."
I laugh. A laugh that has nothing to do with being humored or really thinking something was funny. A more of a "knew it" laugh to myself.
Me: "I totally understand. It's nothing personal."
But, she doesn't get up. Instead we continue talking for a while. We talk about where she's from and what I'm looking for in a relationship and in life. Turns out she's not only 38, but also a nice person. By the end of the night, she gets my number and asks me out to dinner.
Miami: "Wine, eh?"
Me: "Yeah, sometimes I prefer red over white. Depends on my --"
Miami: "You're gorgeous. Just stunning."
I blush, wishing I could hide in between her red lipstick and bright brown eyes. A compliment never goes unnoticed by my cheeks.
Me: "Oh wow, thank you. And, thanks for the drink. Where are you from?"
Miami: "Florida. Why are you sitting here all alone? Waiting on your girlfriend?"
Me: "I don't have a girlfriend."
Miami: "Why?"
Me: "Because I'm picky. Don't like a lot of games."
Miami: "Do I look like I play games?"
Me: "I don't know."
She looks me up and down. I look away, not being used to such frankness. I feel like a Picasso painting being put on display for the first time.
Miami: "Sorry if I am making you feel uncomfortable. I can't help it."
Me: "I'm fine. What's your sign?"
Miami: "Aries. You?
Me: "Aquarius."
Miami: "How old are you?"
Ahh, yes, the question. The question that always gets me in trouble. The question that always makes women gasp and then walk away in disappointment. Here we go. I pause, not wanting to say anything. She can sense my hesitance --
Miami: "Oh, that bad, eh? What, you're 30?"
Me: "...I'm 23."
Miami: "Wow. Well, it was nice talking to you."
I laugh. A laugh that has nothing to do with being humored or really thinking something was funny. A more of a "knew it" laugh to myself.
Me: "I totally understand. It's nothing personal."
But, she doesn't get up. Instead we continue talking for a while. We talk about where she's from and what I'm looking for in a relationship and in life. Turns out she's not only 38, but also a nice person. By the end of the night, she gets my number and asks me out to dinner.
PREDICTION
Here's what I predict Miami will do: I won't hear from her until maybe this weekend when she's slightly tipsy and less concerned about being attracted to a 23 year old. She'll flirt with me and ask me to meet her. More than likely, I will and kissing will go down. After that, she'll want to sleep with me. No. Hell no. A few days later, she'll send me a text saying, "I'd love to kiss you again." Then, I'll tell her she can on a date. She'll get scared by the thought of a date and I'll never hear from her again. End.
Here's what I predict Miami will do: I won't hear from her until maybe this weekend when she's slightly tipsy and less concerned about being attracted to a 23 year old. She'll flirt with me and ask me to meet her. More than likely, I will and kissing will go down. After that, she'll want to sleep with me. No. Hell no. A few days later, she'll send me a text saying, "I'd love to kiss you again." Then, I'll tell her she can on a date. She'll get scared by the thought of a date and I'll never hear from her again. End.
UPDATE
I never heard from her at all. A month later I saw her walking with a young girl. Turns out she had a girlfriend of over two years who isn't a day over twenty-five.
Intuition: it's powerful. I knew the moment I met her that something wasn't right. When you meet a guy or girl and it ain't feelin' okay, think about why that is and consider giving that some attention.
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