I sit down, sip on my margarita under the sun. As usual, a hefty debate takes place between me and two friends --
Do we ever really grow from relationships, or do we make the same mistakes over and over again?
Friend 1: "I'm in my mid 30s now. I'm much less of a mess. In my 20s, I was all over the place."
Friend 2: "Yeah, your 20s are meant for you to make mistakes."
I continue drinking and taking in the sun. Gosh, I love this town. I love being alive. And, for once, there is no fight in me to defend myself. But, nothing will stop me from being an opinionated, hopeless romantic.
Me: "So, does that mean you don't make the same mistakes? Or, that you don't still play the same games you did with the people you date?"
They both immediately put down their drinks. Not even the alcohol could hold them back.
Friend 1: "I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I do know what I want. I do know what I can put up with. Women in their 20s don't know what they want --"
Friend 2: "Neither do men, honey."
Friend 1: "...I now know what to do during a crisis. Or, that the world isn't going to end if I get fired. Or, that I will love again after a hard break up."
Me: "As someone who is in their 20s and strong as a MoFo, I have to disagree with you. I've dated women almost twice my age who act 12. You can't predict how a person is, man or woman, by their age."
Friend 2: "I think guys are different though. We purely think with our d-i-c-k-s. Yes, it's true. And, that doesn't go away ever. And as someone who LOVES younger men, I'd love to say they know what they want. I'd love to trust them or know that they won't go to the next good looking guy who is younger, but I don't."
Me: "So, is it an insecurity? Feeling like a younger person would leave you or feel distracted?"
Friend 1: "I'll be honest, yes it is. Because, you know what, who is to say that I won't bore a woman ten or fifteen years younger than me? I only like to go out twice a month. The average person your age, Lauren, likes to go out a few times a week. Tell me I wouldn't bore you."
Me: "Baby, I'd stay in all year for you."
We all laugh. Taken in by the joy of the moment. Enjoying the intense discussing and each other all at the same time.
Me: "For me, I think it's all about who you meet. I can say I won't date a blind woman, but hey, if there's an unspoken connection, maybe I will."
Friend 2: "Good point, youngin'."
Friend 1: "Yeah, I know that when I meet her, I'll know it's her. And that it'll be over for me. I'll give in."
Me: "Even if she's 26?"
Friend 2: "Gurl, let's not talk crazy!"
I continue looking at Friend 1, waiting for a response. She can feel my gaze on her.
Friend 1: "...maybe."
We smile at each other. Knowing we all would change our minds in a second about our stubborn age requirement...if only the right person came along.
Life's hard to predict, from picking what we'd like to eat for breakfast to deciding if we want to ask someone out on a date. I can barely decide what to wear each morning.
Finding a connection with peeps with is hard enough. If you come across a person who makes your heart skip a beat, then listen because the universe is screaming in your ear --
"Wake Up! This is the goddamn person of your dreams?!"
Or, at least a person who will hopefully allow you to learn something. Let's say you went out with that young guy or gal. What do you have to lose?
Isn't life all about taking risks?