Monday, August 10, 2009

Alone in West Hollywood.

It's one of those beautiful, breezy summer nights. The kind where you only need a tank top and shorts.

I got on jeans and cowboy boots. That's how I roll.

I walk to my car after my friend tells me she can't come out to Truckstop. My heart is half disappointed and half relieved; the ladies on Friday nights wear me out. Lots of pretty faces, too many games.

Watch reads = 9 pm.

Okay, I have a choice. I can keep walking and go home or turn around and pretend like I'm having a good time in an empty bar.

Hmm...yeah...I've never been a good actress. And frankly, my heart isn't feelin' WeHo tonight. At this moment, I can feel it asking me to "give in" a little bit --

Heart: "Hey, what's the deal here? I'd like to skip a beat or two before you turn 80!"
Me: "Huh? You skip all the time."
Heart: "I'm not talkin' about when you're drinking wine or working out. Don't play dumb with me."
Me: " can't force love."
Heart: "Get that from Oprah or Dr. Laura?"
Me: "I got it from you."
Heart: "Good one, but seriously, help me out. I'm sick of looking at the walls you got up all around me."
Me: "Walls. Right. Stop trippin'."
Heart: "Remember how you used to You ain't a romantic. Romantics want love."
Wow, I didn't know my heart was so opinionated.
Me: "I do want love, but it's tough. I can't deal with it right now."
Heart: "It shouldn't be a chore. And ya know why you feel that way? Because we haven't found the right one! Trust me, I'm your heart. I know. All I'm asking is that you consider letting go a little bit more. I want to be in love again. Plus, Cupid owes me money. A lot. Once I see that fool, he's gonna pay. Like really --"
Me: "Okay, I'll work on it."
Heart: "Mmmhmm."

As my imagination runs wild, the sound of a honking CAR takes me back to reality. I automatically assume that I was in the way, but I wasn't. Hmm, why the hell did she honk?

Woman: "Hey, you leaving?"
This town or this parking space? Oh, I get space.
Me: "Yes, yes I am."
Woman: "Awesome. You're the best."

Her words hit me. Hard. In the way that I need. As I get into my car, I feel my lips curve into a huge smile. This is what life's about -- being reminded that you're amazing just as you are at this Present moment...even if it is from a stranger.

I speed off, knowing that the Woman feels like I gave her a great gift in the form of a parking space.

Little does she know that she's the one with wrapping paper in her hair.


mc_cool said...

you can't force love. that's what i said to someone on saturday at a mini-conference (that i was incredibly late to)when we were talking about basic needs. i said, "u can't force love, but u can give affirmation, recognition, confirmation, validation." i am learning that myself. hey, i saw you that night in weho...walking by.

jess said...

Your heart sounds pretty wise lauren.