Monday, November 30, 2009

Tiger to Da No Wood.

Okay, so, if you haven't heard, Tiger Woods ran into a fire hydrant and a tree at around 2:15 am outside of his 3 million dollar mansion. Apparently, his wife, Elin Nordegren, heard the collision and ran out to save him. How did she do this?

By hitting the window of his Escalade with a golf club and then pulling him out to safety.

Look, I am never one to assume negative thangs about peeps -- wait, I'm lying. I totally assume the worst. But hey, even Mother Theresa would be like, "Aight Tiger, what really happened?"


I saw the pics of his smashed up vehicle on TMZ's website. How does someone cause that much damage, even if they are a bad driver, right outside of his or her home? I mean, damn, you can't make up the usual excuses like --

I wasn't used to my surroundings.


I didn't know the speed limit.


I got lost.

It just doesn't work when you crash your vehicle right outside of your freakin' crib. So, this is why I am left to suspect there was more to this story that the world doesn't know about. Like, maybe Tiger got into some trouble and his wife confronted him about it. Or, maybe Tiger got sick of her ass and needed to go get some air. Hell, she probably was attacking him with a golf club after finding out he was having an affair. But, let's be real --

It's none of our business, folks. Whatever happened should stay with Tiger. I would never explain to the world why I left my own house at 2 in the morning regardless of how famous I am -- my private life is MY private life. No one has any business knowing why I do the things I do, like taking a late night drive to get away from my annoying wife.

1 comment:

Diva E. said...

LMBAO@Mother Theresa asking Tiger what happened. Ha!