Saturday, October 31, 2009

Marriage and Granola.

This involves granola, sticky fingers, and love --


I smash a sharp knife into a thick block full of raisins. It slowly comes apart, but the job ain't going by that fast despite my amazing strength. . .

A Chef flashes by, sizes up the situation in front of me.

Chef: "Hey, help Lauren with the raisins. We gotta get 200 of these out before lunch."
I look over my shoulder to see who he's talking to: a thick Woman in her 30s. Is she really going to help to speed the process along? Maybe I should be positive. As she walks over to me, I hear --
Woman: "Hey. Is it Lorraine?"
Me: "Lauren."
She does a laugh smile. Ya know, not really a laugh but not really a smile.
Woman: "I'm so bad with names. Gosh."
Me: "It's all good."
I continue hacking at the raisins as she breaks the small chunks with her hands. And, as the minutes roll by, I find myself wondering what her story is and where she got that big ass rock on her finger.
Me: "How long ya been married?"
She stops what she's doing and looks up to think. I want to scream out, "keep working, goddamnit!!" but decide not to...probably not the best thing to say.
Woman: "Umm...a year I think."
Hmm, I can't tell if she means it in a it's-been-a-year-kill-me kind of way or, I'm-so-in-love-and-thankful kind of way.
Me: "Cool. Why are you here volunteering?"
Woman: "'Cause I'm bored and unemployed."
Join da club.
Me: "Ah and your husband wants you out of the house."
Woman: "Yeah, but not because he's sick of me. Just knows being without a job for so long isn't doing anything positive for my mental health."
Is she crazy or something? Look, I'm down for packing granola -- not crazies.
Me: "How is marriage? Is it fun?"
She stops to look up. Again.
Woman: "This is going to sound weird, but it's a great feeling knowing that he has to fill out a lot of paperwork in order to break up with me."
Not the most romantic thing I've heard.
Me: "Okay, so it sucks?"
Woman: "No, no, it's great. I love being married. I mean, I always thought it would just be the same as before. You know, when we were in a relationship, but it's different. There's a different quality and pressure...but, not a bad pressure. I always have someone by my side and that's nice to know."
I stop without realizing it and smile at her. Yeah, it would be great knowing that no matter what happens, when I go home, there will always be that special person there by my side (unless she decides to take out the paperwork).
Me: "Yeah, that does sound nice."
Real damn nice.

It's hard to remember that life doesn't go on forever and ever.

Ya know, that those hot red pumps I bought for a Christmas party last year won't matter once I'm in the grave.

So...what will?

Perhaps the intangibles...the untouchable thangz that we can't describe with words. Just with feelings. Like --



I can deal with that.

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