ALL THINGS LAUREN

Love and Strippers and Laundry.

2012-01-14T19:02:00.000-08:00

I dated a stripper and loved her for a handful of months. Seven or so according to my memory. You might think it was a foolish idea and, looking back, I would have to agree. But if you had seen the way she moved on stage--those big, brown eyes of hers as she looked at you during a lap dance--you'd understand.

Right away, give or take sixty seconds, I knew it wouldn't work out. We were both unemployed, unmotivated, and by no means truly in love with each other. I'm sure she knew it, too. But our loneliness and determination to be unproductive tied us together, thus giving a false impression of liking the other person.

I remember, after we broke up the first time, calling her one afternoon. We ended up seeing each other that night--her, me, and our loneliness sat in a bar eating stale peanuts. Her eyes got me again. We fucked. It was nice, but I felt empty . . . like before.

In the car later that evening, I remember crying (I did a lot of that with her) and saying, "All I wanted was to be happy with you . . . to wake up and drink coffee, write, and do the laundry without a doubt in my mind that you wanted that, too."

I had no idea what I was talking about.

There's no way we could have been happy together, but I said those words and believed them at the time. The many lessons from that relationship often hit me at the strangest moments--this one being in the employee lounge where I work.

Lesson #8,001: Learn how to do the laundry.

Sweat Me A Compliment.

2012-01-09T18:46:00.000-08:00

Today I went to the gym. I try to go at least 3-5 times a week.

I'm averaging two . . . and that's a good week.

When I actually make it there, I feel energized and ready to take on the world. The drips of sweat as I climb on the stepper or run on the treadmill give me motivation and allow me to see how hard I am working.

To get stronger

To feel sexy

And frankly, to not get fat. Again.

"Damn baby, you don't need to be in here. You already pretty as f*ck" said an attractive guy as I entered the gym. He winked at me and I sort of liked it.

Actually, I really liked it.

These are the kind of moments that inspire me to grow . . . to keep running and sweating and dripping. And his words remained in my head as I climbed the stairs to go lift weights. To be real, they stayed with me the entire time I was there.

It always amazes me how far a few kind words can go. A simple compliment, like the one I heard today, can lift a bad mood or give someone hope during a hopeless time. We all have the power to change lives, to change worlds. Sometimes all it takes is a split second.

I'll be at the gym tomorrow.

2012 = No More Bullsh*t.

2012-01-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

I want you to hear me when I say . . .

Love doesn't hurt.

It should be joyful. Cool. Mellow. Nice. Sweet. Comforting. Kind. Full of butterflies and smiles.

There should be NO bullsh*t. No, I didn't say there should be little bullsh*t. I said there should be NO bullsh*t.

Why is it that so many of us have become accustomed to feeling negative feelings when it comes to dating, love, and relationships?

She doesn't call a lot but at least she texts me every now and then.

Yeah, he lied a few times but he always apologizes.

So what if she's still getting out of a relationship. She's over him.

No, no, and hell no.

We should not be settling. We should not be changing our needs and expectations out of loneliness or a feeling of I can't do any better.

We CAN do so much better. But, better isn't always that easy. Better may take a minute to come your way. What does better entail (at times)?

Being alone more often than you'd like

Nights in bed by yourself

Loneliness

Or, better can look like this:

Spending more time with friends and family

Working on your craft

Starting up a new hobby and rockin' da sh*t out of it

It's all a matter of what you're looking for in your life at this moment. Some of you may be willing to wait until that special somebody comes along. Or, perhaps you're the type of person who needs a body by your side . . . someone who is simply there, regardless of the fact they he or she may not love you. Sometimes it's easier to be with someone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I've been there. I was there recently and it took me a while to figure out:

Love doesn't hurt

Love isn't being nice one second and then calling you an asshole the next. Love isn't flaking out on plans you made a month ago. Love isn't missing your birthday. Love isn't cheating on you. Love isn't being passive aggressive. Love isn't being hot and cold. Love doesn't involve manipulation or abuse of any kind. Love isn't, "I'm in a relationship but unhappy. Wanna go out?" Love doesn't allow you to stay up late at night wondering when he or she will come home. Love isn't feeling like you're constantly on eggshells.

Love is sexy. Love is kind. Love is cool. And even when love doesn't feel so cool it's still cool because y'all know how to keep it cool.

Love is disagreeing while still respecting the other person. Love never allows name calling. Ever.

Question: was there a memo that was sent out to the world that said we should deal with bullsh*t? That we should be okay with getting hurt and feeling this way on a regular basis? Did Obama pass a bill that makes everyone not wait for the person of their dreams--who treats him or her like Gold? I can't help but wonder if that went down because, it seems, that many of the people I know (myself included) haven't experienced anything but a lot of hurting. And not just hurting once or twice during a two year relationship. But hurting over and over and over and over and over again within the first few months of dating.

We are getting too used to FEELING hurt. So much so that it's become normal. And now it feels abnormal when someone makes us feel LOVED.

When I meet a woman who makes me feel nothing but joy. Who is consistently loving, straight forward, plays no games, and--wait, that hasn't happened yet. I haven't met her . . . yet.

So what have I been doing because she hasn't come my way? I've been allowing myself to hurt and feel pain because I thought it was love. I was settling. I was allowing myself to put up with bullsh*t. I wasn't being kind to ME.

The good thing is, it's a new day. It's a new year. It's a new moment and a new second. Every experience is an opportunity for growth. All of the failures and mistakes that I've made, we've all made, have been worth it because they brought us to this moment.

And now, when I see her or anyone else who used to inspire hurt within me, I am now able to walk away because I know one thing:

I ain't putting up with no bullsh*t

Love, Do You Fit?

2011-09-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

AVERAGE DAY

5:30am: Wake up, shake the dreams out of my hair. Shower. Pick up the newspaper I'm not going to read that's waiting on my doorstep. Drive to work.

6:30am-3:00pm: Work. Work. Work. Think of story ideas for future screenplays. Fantasize. Network.

3:00pm-3:30pm: Drive to the gym. Listen to music. Feel the wind on my arm as Maxwell blasts.

3:30pm-5:00pm: Gym. Sweat. Lift weights. Watch Anderson Cooper as I burn calories. Wonder how much longer he'll wait to come out.

5:00pm-7:00pm: Dinner. Check emails. Text. Pay bills. Call a friend or two. Write.

7:00pm-10:00pm: Screenwriting class. Go over story beats and character flaws. Laugh. Connect.

10:00pm-11:00pm: Shower. Listen to music. Pray that I have enough energy to write a blog or two. Think of what I learned in class. Fantasize.

11:30pm: Bed (alone).

WHERE DOES LOVE FIT IN?

Is it difficult to fit in an active dating life with the schedule that I have? Hell yes, but it is possible -- I don't have class every night. I also have a few days off a week. On one of those days, I can have a romantic evening with a lady.

Would it be difficult to date more than one or two women at a time? Not necessarily. If I'm hanging out once a week with each woman then I could probably manage. But, here's the real question to ask myself:

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

#LetMeGetBacktoYouonThat

Chronicles Of A 20-Something: Sometimes We Must Take a Risk.

2011-09-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a big leap of faith and following my HEART.

My father and I have a book coming out in just a few weeks --

How to Get Real About Dating: A Father and Daughter's Guide to Finding Love at Any Age.

In the past few months, I have invested thousands of dollars on the book: editing, design work, etc. I don't know what is going to happen, but no matter what it has been an amazing experience.

Life's too short not to take a chance. In my experience, the greatest opportunities and experiences came after taking a risk. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

When I fell in love for the first time and took a plane to New York to meet a woman I had never met in person before. A huge risk that was an amazing experience.

Deciding to attend NYU rather than Chapman, even after I was offered a scholarship of $30,000+. My time at NYU was great.

Moving out of my mother's abusive household to live with my father and stepmother. Without making that decision, I wouldn't be the woman I am today.

Sometimes you have to move past the fear and have a fu*k it attitude. Otherwise, you'll never know what could have happened if you went for it.

I'm going for it.

Love and Fear and Coffee.

2011-05-15T19:15:00.001-07:00

You know how this goes.

I sigh...

EXT. CAFE - MORNING
An Older Woman sips on a steamy cup of coffee, a smile on her face. It's slightly dark outside, but the sun is starting to wake up.

I walk by, quickly sliding my shoes along the side walk, afraid of being late for work.

Somehow, I feel her smiling at my worry.

I turn to meet her laughing eyes.

Me: "Oh, hey. Wasup, gurl!? Long time no see."
Woman: "Nothing, just watching you stress, playa."
Playa. Ha, if only she knew the truth.
Me: "Yeah, I'm about to be late if I don't hurry my ass up."
I give a deep exhale, wanting to sit down and have a cup of coffee with her.
Woman: "These things happen. So, who are you dating now? how many ladies? Tell me the scoop!"
I inhale, not knowing what to say since nothing has been going down.
Me: "Nothing really. But, you know what I'm realizing? I have a lot of fear around being with someone, like in a relationship."
Woman: "What kind of fear?"
Me: "Like, what if I get hurt like the first time I was in love? What if I take a chance and it doesn't work? What if, what if, what if."
She laughs. Hard. I don't know if it was her or the sky, but suddenly everything looks a little bit brighter.
Woman: "Who doesn't think that? I've been with my guy for four years now and he won't marry me. He's like you -- afraid."
Me: "Hold up, you think about the same things, too?"
Woman: "Hell yeah. But, let me tell you something, I ain't waiting around for him. Before he left to hang out with his boys yesterday, I was walking around the house with a thong and no bra on. He loved it."
I give her a confused look.
Me: "You mean, if he doesn't wake up and smell the thong, you're out? Even though you're in love with him?"
Woman: "Absolutely. Honey, I don't have time to wait around. Four years is long enough. And, the stuff I do, maybe he can find another bitch to do it, but not one that can do it like me."
Oh, snap.
Woman: "It's all about knowing what you're worth and taking that risk. Otherwise, what else are you gonna do? Be alone?"
Me: "Yeah...I'd love to know what it is like to be in a relationship that long. Do you get bored?"
Woman: "Naw, I love that fool, even if he is making me wait a million years."
She takes a long sip of her coffee. I look in the distance, completely forgetting about the time as the sun shines on my face.

There are things in life that make us want to vomit, scream, or run like the wind.

Things that make us wake up in the middle of the night, screaming.

Hurt that causes our heart to ache and stomach to tie into knots.

Fear

We let it grab us. We let it create its own world, own story, and own characters.

I don't remember what it's like to love like the first time I fell in love.

But, when I stop allowing the fear to talk, it's so obvious that I do. And, that I can love even harder and deeper than ever before.

So, we have two choices.

1) Listen to the head.

2) Listen to the heart.

You decide.

"I Want A Down Bitch."

2011-05-11T14:47:00.000-07:00

You had a bad day at work, come home with an attitude, and proceed to lash out at your Boo for not cooking dinner.

Seeing that you're worked up and stressed, she allows you to vent and apologizes for not checking in with you about dinner. "I'm sorry, baby. Is there something I can make for you?"

Yeah, that's right, she even offers to cook for your rude ass.

And after you're done eating, she makes you a bath and allows you to sleep the hurt away...even if it doesn't include holding her.

That's a down bitch.

You find out that your grandmother passed away and the funeral is in a few days. Although you want to ask your lady to come with you across the country for emotional support, you decide not to since she has an important work deadline to meet.

Within a few hours, she gets permission from her boss to postpone the project and immediately books a flight for the both of you.

She packs everything, arranges for flowers to be sent, and offers a shoulder for you to cry on whenever you need to let your emotions out.

That's a down bitch.

Your car just broke down and you're trippin' because you now have to ride the bus to your job, which is 40 miles away.

Your lady let's you use her new car. Not only that, she also starts taking the bus to and from work since her commute is only 8 miles away.

That's a down bitch.

You get wasted on New Year's Eve at a club with your girl and some friends. Like, so hammered that you don't even know you're name. Vomit is all over your clothes and in your hair. Yeah, it is that bad.

Those friends of yours...they're gone. A security guard comes over and tries to carry you outside to a cab, but your chick stops him and says, "I got it."

She gets you into the car, carries you inside your pad, and bathes you. Embarrassed and ashamed you tell her to leave you alone.

Her response: "Shut up." She proceeds to finish bathing you in between forcing water down your throat.

That's a down bitch.

Some homeless guy starts talking shit to you in public about being a lesbian. You ignore him, but the derogatory statements keep coming.

Your chick, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable, waits 5 seconds to go crazy on him.

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

And like that, she snaps her head around and yells to the guy, "We got a fuc*ing problem, dude?"

Both you and the homeless guy have a look of fear and complete shock on your face. He sizes her up, sees that she ain't playin' around and says, "No, we don't."

"Good," she responds, and turns back around to you. "You want dessert, baby?"

That's a down bitch.

Strong. Loyal. Dependable. A rock. She isn't going anywhere. Katrina ain't moving this chick. Boxing ain't her profession, but she'll put on some gloves if she has to.

So many of us split when things get tough...or appear to be heading down that road. Ya know the type I'm talkin' about --

You guys have a fight and she says, "Are we even good together?" One disagreement has her questioning your entire relationship.

That's NOT a down bitch.

Someone else has caught her eye and she tells you: "Nothing happened, but...there's a connection." Forget the three years you shared together.

That's NOT a down bitch.

The relationship is going through a rough patch and she is shutting down instead of talking through things and trying to make it work. "I think we need a break." I guess making an effort doesn't even matter to her.

That's NOT a down bitch.

The increase in the population of Not Down Bitches is concerning.

To me, a Down Bitch doesn't play games. She doesn't sway on who she likes or juggle a whole bunch of women at one time.

When she's with you, it's just you.

It sounds kind of foreign, doesn't it? A chick who just wants you and just you? But, they're out there. I think the key is --

Believing and knowing that there's a Down Bitch out there in the Universe for you.

Perhaps if we expect amazing things to come, they will.

Love and Books and 28.9 Miles.

2011-04-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's hard to know what you want...

when there is a new second at every second and a new minute at every minute...

1,000+ breaths.

60,000 thoughts.

You know how this goes...

INT. ROOM - NIGHT

I sit on my hard bed as I talk on my cell phone and play with my tangled hair.

My homegurl is on the other line, we'll call her LISA.

Lisa: "So, be real, gurl. Who are you feelin' the most?"

The question throws me, just like a bug does when it turns into bug juice on my window shield.

Lauren: "I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm always going to be alone."

Lisa: "Gurrrrl."

We laugh, aware of how ridiculous my words sound.

Lauren: "I know, I'm trippin'. I haven't figured it out yet."

Lisa: "Maybe because your ass needs to put out already!"

Lauren: "Naw. That has to feel right because it's no joke."

Lisa: "Well, what do you want...a relationship or what?"

Lauren: "Gurl, I just want to be on the same page as a chick."
Lisa: "But, what page are you on?"

Oh, damn. She just called out a sistah. Um, let's see... page 1 -- 20 -- oh, no -- crap, I lost my spot.

Lauren: "I'm on page, Whatever Feels Right. And, when something doesn't, I go to the next book."

Lisa: "Well, how about this -- finish the damn book before moving on to another one."

My hand goes to my heart and my chest fills with air. For a moment, I forget about my hair and the entire world. No thoughts. Just the truth and complete silence as it bounces off the walls.

Sometimes it's important to finish the journey.

After all, it doesn't matter all that much if you run 28.9 miles when the damn race is 30 miles long.

Or, does it?

For some of us, we give up before really even trying. This can be out of fear, pure laziness, or the inability to give up control in the face of vulnerability.

Many of us are scared.

Many of us are lazy.

Many of us like control.

And, many of us run when someone touches us and we feel a Soul thrown at us unlike any other -- one that breathes unconditional love and whispers, through fingertips and footsteps, "I got chu, no matter what, Boo."

That shiznit, even when you don't finish the race, is so completely worth the journey...I don't care if your ass only reaches 200 feet.

But, what's really the worst that could happen if you reached that 30 mile mark?

Sure, you may get hurt. Actually, there's a high likelihood since a lot of relationships don't work out, but that's being straight negative. Let's go the other route -- positivity.

You could give and receive love that transforms your life.

You could give and receive love that transforms your life.

In the end, in the middle, and in the beginning of the race isn't that what it's really all about?

I think it's time for me to finish that book.

Turning 25...

2011-03-24T06:59:00.000-07:00

I think, now, I'm finally beginning to grow up.

Relocating and Love and Fear.

2011-01-24T20:27:00.000-08:00

You know how this goes...

INT. RESTAURANT - DAY
I sit down alone, consumed by my thoughts and cold coffee. A window is at my back and the sunshine is warm on my face.

My head shoots up, distracted by the sound of heat hot footsteps.

They belong to my Friend, who is rushing toward me. I can tell that she's mad about something. What that something is...I'm sure she'll tell me.

Friend: "He's married. F*uck."
The disappointments of potential love. Been there.
Me: "'Oh no. I'm sorry, gurl. Wasn't meant to be I guess."
She sighs, sits next to me. I hope she can feel the sun on her back, too.
Friend: "Thanks, it's okay. He's probably a crazy, broke ass drunk anyway. I seem to always attract those types."
I remain silent but supportive in my gaze. We all deal with rejection in different ways.
Me: "Come on, he's a stranger in a restaurant who you'll never see again."
She turns her head toward me, the sun causing her small frame to glow. If there was such thing as a sun shower, surely this would be it.
Friend: "What if I do? It's not impossible. I could walk around a corner tomorrow or next year and run into him."
She's having a moment. Been there.
Me: "Well, hopefully he'll be divorced and then you can give it a go."
She turns away, consumed by the carpet below her feet. Yeah, she's not listening to me anymore.
Friend: "...he did say he has a brother who lives in Arizona."
My eyebrow perks up. This sounds promising. Perhaps a fling can go down?
Me: "Cool, did you get his information?"
Friend: "No, there's no point. I'd have to relocate to see him and I don't want to do that. I want someone who lives close to me."
Hold up.
Me: "So, you're going to let a few hundred miles keep you from meeting this guy?"
Without hesitation, she looks up and says --
Friend: "Yeah."
And I thought my coffee was cold...

Why is it that we're so focused on relocating when we don't even know how to locate...

our feelings

our needs

...ourselves.

Easier said than done, I get it. But hey, what about the idea of going from A to B instead of A to Z to OMFG?

What makes many of us turn away something that can change our lives because of a six or a ten or a twenty hour drive? Hell, give me a donkey. I'll use it if it's the only thing that'll get me to the person I'm diggin'. I've never been great with horses but you better believe I'll figure it out. A kangaroo...sure, I'll squeeze in the pouch.

There are so many inconveniences happening each day, each moment, that keep people apart.

"I would go out with you, but I have work in the morning."

"You got kids? Uh, yeah, I don't do kids."

"A few months until we can have sex? I don't know about all that."

We are so busy tearing each other down instead of lifting each other up. Subconsciously saying, "you ain't good enough" when there's nothing better but YOU. Seriously, peeps.

There's nothing better than YOU.

Someone recently told me --

"When we treat ourselves like we're $10, then we'll attract people who treat us like we're $10."

Arizona isn't far, and no place truly is when we really break it down. My Friend's rejection of a complete stranger is simply a reflection of how she feels about herself -- I'm not worth the distance or the time to be loved. It's a tough thing to see in her...this fear. But, it is in us all. How can it not be?

I wonder what it would be like if we treated ourselves and each other like precious gifts?

Like diamonds, like a Picasso painting...like $5 billion dollars?

Maybe then we'd realize that there are planes.

Perhaps we'd realize that work will always be there and taking one night to spend quality time with a special individual is completely worth it.

...that kids are precious and it's a pleasure to be around them.

Then, maybe then

we'll start the engine and take a long, long drive as we realize --

we're gold.

Let's Try This Again, Match.com

2011-01-10T19:07:00.000-08:00

So, I joined Match.com

Again.

And ya know what, I'm feeling good about it this time. Like I may actually find love.

But, if I'm being real with myself, I don't know if I really want that at this point in my life. I'm also twenty-five years old and it's becoming less and less appealing.

Over the past month or so I've met a lot of couples. Sure, they seem sorta happy, but will it last? My words don't sound supportive, but this is honestly what runs past my mind.

How can two people in their twenties maintain a lifelong relationship?

I don't know the answer, but perhaps it's not about the future or knowing what's going to happen. Maybe it's about living in the moment and not thinking about anything else.

Or,

Maybe they're actually in love.

Fires and Fireplaces.

2010-12-17T08:28:00.000-08:00

Life has a funny way of happening.

Last month, I woke up to screams and smoke...lots of smoke.

(photo found here)

There was a fire right below my apartment and the first thing I did when I saw smoke was run out the door as fast as I could.

"Oh my God, my brand new television."

This was the first thing I said to my roommate who looked at me with an incredulous look and said:

"Your life is worth more, Lauren."

And, to be honest, I remember thinking to myself -- "No, it isn't." I couldn't get my mind off the $4,000 electronic device I owned, even as I stood half naked outside my apartment building obsessing over it.

Now, I sit in the living room of my beautiful new apartment in West Hollywood in front of a lovely fireplace...with a different kind of fire. Television undamaged, happiness increased, a weight lifted off my shoulders.

"Lauren, you seem more comfortable in your skin and happier since the move" my stepmother told me over breakfast.

I smiled at her, not even noticing the change until that moment.

Perhaps a fire is just what I needed.

It's Tricky When You're Old. . .

2010-12-06T18:08:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know my dad, this is him -- also known as Da Man.

It has been fun writing a book about dating with him and we've grown even closer.

Can't wait to see what the future holds! And for those of you who need some dating advice, feel free to ask this daughter-father duo.

Father and Daughter Know Best.

2010-12-06T16:39:00.000-08:00

Dating ain'teasy, we all know that. But, with a positive attitude and a solid game plan...you can achieve anything.

Oh, and you have to get real.

Some questions to ask yourself...

Do I think of my dog as my "going out" buddy?

When my friends invite me to a movie do I ask, "what time you comin' over?"

Are my legs hairier than Chewbacca's?

We've all had our rough phases. And if you haven't, then all the power to ya. For all of ya'll down on your luck and wondering when love is going to come, wait it out. And, in the meantime,

shave your legs.

Exerpt from our (me and my father) book, It's Hard When You're Young, It's Tricky When You're Old: Gettin' Real About Dating.

"I'm Broke"

2010-09-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

Money.

We all like it...or, at least the things it can give us.

I know I sure do. Since I've been working two jobs, I seem to have quite a bit of if. Actually, so do most of the people I work with as well. Yet, I always hear:

"I'm broke."

Hmmm...

It makes me wonder how many of us, no matter how much $$ we have, end up short each and every month. Wanting and asking for more money whether it be from G-O-D or your momma.

(photo found here)

Let's be frank. Some peeps just don't know how to save for a rainy day, or any day at all. Damn, it is a lot easier said than done when you're looking at a gorgeous flat screen television, or an Ipad.

It's almost like these things are just screaming, "Buy me!"

I get it, I do. But hey, we gotta be smart. It's all about balance. You can have that television and still save money. How? Here are some ideas --

1) Instead of calling your homegurl to go eat at Cheesecake Factory three times a week, cut it down to twice a month. You'll adjust over time. Also, replace eating out with your Boo by cooking dinners at home. Last month I went out to eat over 10 times, which cost me over $250 dollars. Yeah, we all have hiccups. It's about how you recover that matters. Doing this every now 'n then is okay.

2) Take the train instead of your car. I usually spend $150 a month in gas on average. When I take the bus for the majority of the month, I save over half of that amount. Hey, multiply what I save ($75) by 12 and that equals $900...enough for a flat screen television.

3) Get a Sugamomma or Sugadaddy.

4) Open up a Checking account. If you haven't, consider doing it. This is a great way to see your transactions and track the way you spend $. I look at my statements at least 3 times a week to make sure I am on top of things.

5) Put an end to buying unnecessary items. You know you don't need that $20 T-Shirt with the words, "Oprah, don't go." And Lady GaGa will be around next year so you can hold off on buying those $500 tickets to her concert. Don't even go near Ikea. Those multi-colored desk lamps and triangular picture frames will always be there.

6) Pay off and cancel your credit cards until you only have 1. And don't allow it to go over $100 dollars.

Hope this helps. Being broke ain't fun. But, if you are smart about your spending habits then you won't ever have this problem.

Well, that is, if you don't lose your j-o-b.

Jobs and Interviewing and Fear.

2010-09-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

(photo found here)

Jobs are hard to come by lately, but they are out there. I recently helped two of my friends by rewriting their resume in the hopes of landing them that beautiful and scary thang --

The Interview

Ugh. I know it's tough, but get over it and prepare yourself. It wasn't until I started practicing my job interviewing skills that I actually saw a huge improvement, and received a job offer. Here are a few tips, peeps --

1) Go to a local bookstore and run straight to the "Careers" or "Jobs" section and grab a few books on those respective subject matters. Buy one or two and then make yourself practice two exercises from each book a day, such as following up with networking contacts or calling companies to see if they are hiring. If you can't afford to buy the books, then just read a chapter a day and write excellent notes.

2) Practice with friends and family. But, uh, don't practice with your Boo. Ya'll know each other too well.

3) Research the heck out of the company you're trying to join. Know it like the back of your hand. I've screwed up on this before and looked like a total idiot when I didn't know the answer to an easy question about a company I failed to learn about. Ya live and you learn!

4) Dress well. Look, interviews are not for jeans and T-shirts. I don't care if you're applying to be a janitor at Burger King. Put on some slacks and a nice, ironed top. No exceptions. I've seen individuals called out for not dressing the part. Plus, you feel more confident when you look/feel good. If you can't afford to buy clothes, try a thrift store.

5) Practice in front of a mirror. This allows you to pick up on your body language and anything you do that isn't so hot, like twitch or blink too often.

6) Always start off by handing that person your resume. He or she may be looking for you to do this, or simply didn't bring it. This always makes you look good. Also, it's always great if it's wrinkle free and on a white sheet of paper. Common sense to most, but not to all.

7) Know your place. Don't pretend to be a Know-It-All. Answer any and all questions. Say what you need to say to present yourself as the best for that position and that's it.

Interviewing is hard, but it's totally fun once you get the hang of it. If you're straight out of college or a young person looking for your first job, follow the above tips and you'll be golden.

Chronicles Of A 20-Something - The Ex.

2010-08-11T13:49:00.000-07:00

"Should I get back together with my ex boyfriend?"

"My ex girlfriend is suddenly being nice and wants to date again. Should I say yes?"

"He's saying everything right, but...I'm just confused."

"Yeah, we didn't work before, but maybe the timing was wrong."

"She knows me well and maybe this is as good as it gets."

(photo found here)

These are all questions and thoughts I'm sure most of us have had at some point in our life...like me.

Can it work out after it didn't go so well in the past?

Only you can answer and figure this out, of course. But, trust me, I know it's tough. I've been spending time and hooking up with my ex girlfriend for the past month and it has been great. But, some of the same issues are still there that make it obvious we are not meant for each other. And to be real, no matter how old you are, it's confusing when love and sex is involved, which is okay. We're human. We feel all types of thangz.

Here's what I recommend doing if you're torn --

Nothing.

Just live your life and see what happens in the Present moment. Truth is, it's hard to figure out what you want. And that can change by the minute/hour/day/month. There's nothing worse than having regrets and wondering, later in life, "I wish we could have tried again."

Make mistakes. Do stupid shiznit. Embarrass yourself a little bit. At least you'll know without any uncertainty that you gave it all you had.

However, let me say this:

If you're considering going back to someone who doesn't treat you well or takes you for granted, then run out the door as fast as you can. You deserve the best and anything short of that should be a booty call!

Chronicles Of A 20-Something - Work.

2010-06-04T20:25:00.001-07:00

I have to say that it's tough to find time to hang out with friends, relax, and enjoy life when you're working over 55 hours a week.

I get it, this is what being young and motivated is all about. But, we all need a back rub and some affection every now and then...right?

I've come to the conclusion that it is all about balance. We must be held sometimes while we must work until our bones break during others. And sometimes sipping on a glass of Chardonnay underneath the California sun is all that matters.

Let's say you died and God asked you, "Do you have any regrets?" What would you say?

I would reply, "I wish my heart broke a little more and my bones didn't ache so much."

Yeah, I'm still finding a balance. Time to go ice my back.

New Book!

2010-05-28T16:08:00.000-07:00

Hey there,

As many of you know I am working on a book about dating with my dad. It's going to be done in less than 4 months! Yay!

We're looking for a photographer and an artist to draw some pictures for each chapter (11). If you're interested or know of anyone, please E-mail me at --

Lezzieindacity@yahoo.com

Thanks! It's going to be great!

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Marriage Rules

2010-05-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

Marriage is no joke. I ain't in one, but I can see from a distance that it takes work, commitment, and patience.

It ain't for kids, though many tend to be.

In a recent article, a list of 9 "marriage rules" will help to successfully maintain your relationship. Let's break it down --

1) Never go to bed angry.
Sometimes anger makes things a little sexy.
2) Always be 100% honest.
Lying ain't cool, unless it's part of a sexual game.
3) Never vacation without one another.
How the hell do you get a break from seeing one another then?
4) If you fight, you're headed for divorce.
Fighting happens...but should never be abusive. Chris Brown activity ain't cool.
5) Once you have children, they come first.
And if you have 'em, get ready to pay not just for your health insurance, but their coverage as well.
6) You should never sleep in separate beds.
...unless you payed thousands of dollars for your couch. Gotta get your money's worth.
7) Partners should sync up their hobbies.
Maybe having a few of the same ones is a nice idea, but all of them? Hell naw. You gotta have your own interests, marriage or not.
8) If there's no spark, you're dead.
For some, they may enjoy the lack of excitement. There are peeps like this, and that's cool if they find the same in a partner...just don't ask my ass out. I ain't tryna be bored with ya.
9) Boring is bad.
Good point, but how do you keep it from not being boring when you're around the person all the time? It ain't like when you go home after a long day they aren't there. You have no free time away unless you go on that vacation alone, or with your friends..right?

To be real, these rules are beneficial for every kind of relationship. But, I don't know how realistic it is to sustain them on a day-to-day level.

We're all human and fight sometimes.

Or, don't want to have the same hobbies. Hell, I may want to sleep on the couch one night, especially if my stomach is actin' crazy.

Does this mean we're doomed for failure in relationships and love? Probably...or, not.

Truth is, no one can predict what happens in the future. You may follow all of these rules and still fall flat on your face and divorce after a few months. From personal experience I know the feeling of believing a relationship will last forever only to see it gone within months. That's why I try to live in the moment, knowing that marriage will come one day -- even if I break a rule or two.

To The Left, To The . . . Right.

2010-05-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

Life can be tricky, and it can be challenging. It can also be amazingly rewarding and fulfilling.

Hopefully.

And to be real, sometimes we face tough choices. The right path can be a little hard to see, just like the wrong one.

(photo found here)

Whatever you're struggling with, allow yourself to feel what you're feeling.

Then, scream.

Then, breathe. Twice. Hella deeply.

And ask your heart, what the hell do you wanna do?

. . .

I guarantee it'll whisper something back.

Prostitutes and Streets and Home.

2010-05-02T14:14:00.000-07:00

I live near broken roads

...

in between dirty fences and run down churches.

Oh...and prostitutes.

(photo found here)

Sometimes

Late at night, after work, I drive home.

And, sometimes I get scared.

You know, after the car's parked and there's no one in the streets.

Just me and the dark and my heat hot breath.

The pulse of my heart.

Breathing. Heavy.

Yet, when I look over my shoulder

I know it's okay,

because she's always there

he's always there

they're always there

Looking. Waiting. Watching. Protecting.

Even before they get into that stranger's car.

Chronicles Of A 20-Something - Reality.

2010-05-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

INT. CHURCH - DAY
It's hella windy, but I'm inside. Thank goodness. I sit down at a table with a Co-worker. She's 26 but doesn't look a day over 19. Her shoulders are slumped and she looks worried. Very worried as she punches numbers into a calculator.

I look over at her and smile. I can't help but wonder, "what the hell is she obsessing over?"

After a few moments, she turns to me.
Co-Worker: "I'm wondering how I can pay all of my bills this month. It's never going to happen. Or, I fear that it won't. That wouldn't be good."
Aww, she's so cute and awkward. I feel like giving her a hug.
Me: "Well, I'm sure this job will be enough with the hours they give us."
Co-Worker: "Yeah, but I have another job. I can't leave them high 'n dry."
Nothing like some guilt.
Me: "I'm sure they'll understand if you take a day off or two since this job is temporary. Plus, it pays good money, so you gotta consider that. But, you should be fine because we'll be working on the weekends. Your other job is during the week, right?"
Co-Worker: "Yeah, but I need two days where I can relax. Just for my sanity...ya know? Like, I have to take care of myself."
I lean in closer, making sure to listen and not seem like I'm judging.
Me: "You ultimately have to do what's best for you. But, gurl, the reality is you need money, right?"
Co-Worker: "Yeah, I do."
Me: "Okay. So, if you're taking two days off a week then you aren't making money, which can be the reason why you aren't able to pay your bills, what good will that do for you? In the end, you aren't really taking care of yourself since your basic necessities won't being covered."
She takes in my words, thinks.
Co-Worker: "I guess that makes sense. How many hours do you think we'll get here?"
Me: "Well, up to 36 it sounds like. And that's a lot of money if you calculate it."
She punches into her calculator again, reminding me of WALL-E in a strange way. As she does that, I begin mingling with other peeps. After a few minutes, she taps my shoulder.
Co-Worker: "I've figured it out, Lauren."
Me: "Cool!"
Co-Worker: "You're right. I don't need to be taking so much time off. I have to focus on working and, if I make more than I need, I'll just save it for the next month. Or, something may come up that I must buy."
Me: "Sounds like a good plan you got there."
Co-Worker: "You think?"
Me: "Hell yeah, gurl, you're smart."
Co-Worker: "Thanks!"
We smile at each other, feeling like we made a huge accomplishment. Maybe we did...

Let's break it down --

Facing reality ain't so easy.

It requires seeing the truth and forcing yourself to move those dark clouds of denial and fear to another sky. It's uncomfortable and allows No room for any type of fantasy.

Being in yours 20s, or just someone who is still struggling to figure out how to survive, requires patience. Some of us will continue on the path of I-got-no-idea-where-I'm-going while others will take another route, also called:

I got this.

Because, the reality is, that's the truth. If you believe, just f-ckin' believe in yourself, the world has no other choice but to eventually accommodate your ass.

Who really knows if you or I will make it each month. Maybe we won't, maybe we will. And yeah, some peeps are lucky and land an amazing job that they never leave. There are also many folks out there who don't even work hard, (Lindsay Lohan) but make a ton of money. Yes, this can be tough to swallow as we struggle, at times.

Ultimately, I think it's about the journey and the steps we take in our own big sky. No one knows the outcome, or has control over what happens. However, we do have control over whether or not we enjoy those steps that we do take.

Dreams And Peanuts.

2010-04-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

Today the licensing rights for Snoopy, Charlie Brown, and the rest of the "Peanuts" gang were bought for 175 million bucks.
(photo found here)

Charles Schulz, rest his Soul, created these cartoons based off of people, or things in his life:

Snoopy: based off a dog Charles owned as a boy.

Charlie Brown's parents: based off of Schulz's own parents.

Linus & Shermy were named for good friends of his

Charlie Brown was like Mr. Schulz, withdrawn and shy.

Peppermint Patty was inspired by one of his cousins.

Most of us, without knowing it, don't see the gold that surrounds us:

Family

An amazing friend

Your lover

Some of us may even be taking these folks for granted. Or, not want them around due to a fight or misunderstanding.

What if we all appreciated the Peanuts in our life? Maybe then we'd see how rich we really are.

Life and Sailing and Calling It Quits.

2010-04-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

This is Abby Sunderland.

She's on a mission: to be the youngest person to solo-circumnavigate the planet in a sailboat.

(photo found here)

Yesterday, this 16-year-old had to call it quits on her journey due to a faulty autopilot system.

"I gave it my best shot and made it almost halfway around the world," she said. "I will definitely keep going, and whether or not I will make any more stops after this I don't know."

Knowing when enough is enough for your own good.

In life, sometimes we'll be faced with a tough decision, like: getting out of an abusive relationship, dropping out of college, or deciding to stop your diet.

To some, this may be giving up. To others, like Abby, it's simply making the best decision for yourself.

You may be sad right now. Maybe you're sitting in your office wanting out of the job you have because it's not your passion. Perhaps you're even on the brink of depression.

It's okay.

Just know that at any point, you can steer that sailboat off to the side of the ocean and jump off for another journey, a new beginning.

Now ready and willing to weather any damn storm.

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, We Freak Out.

2010-04-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

INT. APARTMENT - DAY
I sit with my Friend in a chair. He's relaxin' on my bed, a blanket on his lap. I guess the sun's not warm enough.
Friend: "All I'm sayin' is that you never know what someone is going through. Maybe she didn't text him back because she forgot or didn't have time."
Me: "Well, he sent her a Facebook message. Not a text."
Friend: "Same thing. It's still a way to communicate where the intention or tone isn't clear."
Me: "I can understand if she forgot to respond. Or, if she just didn't have time. But, it has been over a week and they kind of had a disagreement. So, there's a little back story there."
Friend: "I still think you're way wrong, potentially. Because look. I've had friends who have gone M.I.A. for, like, two years. And, at first I took it personal. I would E-mail or call and get no response. Then, two years later, a few of them E-mailed me within two months of each other and said they were just going through a lot."
Me: "Those peeps are different. Our group hangs out on a regular basis and her behavior is usually different than this whole non-reply thang. You really think that her lack of response isn't on purpose?"
Friend: "Totally. Well, actually, I think you are over thinking it. I know her. She's not upset with him. In fact, when she saw him today she ran over and gave him a hug."
Me: "It is never what it seems. Some of us are nicer to our enemies than our friends, which isn't right. But, it is true in some cases. I'm not saying I know or that I'm right. The point is, he sent her a message and she hasn't responded after they had a small fight. That's not just being busy or forgetting. Women are different than men. We ignore. We do things on purpose. Some of us our passive aggressive."
Friend: "So are men!"
Me: "Yeah, but women are reeeeeallllyyyy good at it."
Friend: "I guess you make a good point, but still...you're wrong. I know it."
Me: "I guess we'll see if she ever responds."
Friend: "She will!"

Who knows why she hasn't responded, but maybe he's right.

Assumptions can get us in trouble...and leave us freakin' the hell out.

I can't tell you how many times I've reached out to someone -- romantic or not -- and tripped out after not hearing anything. This could have been after a few minutes or a few days. Thoughts like, "What did I do?" and "Did he die?" would flash in my head. I always check my phone like a mad woman and made sure to put the ringer on max volume.

And then, one day, I decided to let it all go. "They'll get back to me" started to pop into my brain, or I wouldn't think about it at all. I'd let it be.

Sometimes what keeps us sane is finding a middle ground between these two extremes. After all, a peaceful insanity won't do much good. Facing things, like a fight, head on may not be the best approach. There's power in silence and time and letting go. And, if we're lucky, it's

Healing power.

Chronicles Of A 20-Something - Long Distance Love.

2010-04-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

INT. STORE - NIGHT
I stand in a corner next to some wine. For once, I am not drinking since I'm on the job. A cute Blonde Girl approaches me, smiles.
Me: "Hi, would you like some wine?"
Without hesitation, she walks toward me.
Blonde Girl: "Totally."
I pour her a glass and laugh as she downs it. My boss said she was mean, but I doubt it. Everyone tends to get judged out here without a fair chance.
Me: "Rough day?"
Blonde Girl: "No, no. I'm, like, really freakin' nervous. I'm going to Mexico City tomorrow to see this guy."
Me: "Oh, cool. How long have you been dating?"
Blonde Girl: "I dunno...like a few weeks or something."
New love. I like the way it looks, especially in her eyes. She looks so happy. I like happy peeps.
Me: "That's awesome."
Blonde Girl: "Yeah, I met him in Mexico City when I was hanging out with friends and then we hooked up. A week later he came to Cali and we spent time together for ten days straight. Now I am going back to see him."
Me: "Sounds fun. Are you staying in a hotel?"
Blonde Girl: "No, I'm staying with him."
She's really going for it. I remember those days.
Me: "Awesome, does he have a nice place?"
Blonde Girl: "I dunno, I think he lives with his parents in, like, the basement. I really have no clue."
Part of me admires her for going for it and not thinking about the details, or safety. She could get killed, but let's not focus on that.
Me: "Sounds fun. What does he do for a living?"
She looks up at the ceiling to think, or to dream.
Blonde Girl: "I don't really know. I think he, like, works with homeless people. It's something we don't really talk about."
Instead of taking the time to judge her words, I pour some more wine into her glass.
Blonde Girl: "Thank you for the wine. I love your make-up by the way. What's the brand?"
Me: "Um, I totally forgot. I bought everything at Sephora though. Ya know, people probably think you're nuts for going to see this guy, but I think it's cool. I took a plane to New York to see a woman I hardly knew and it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life."
Blonde Girl: "Wow, that's cool."
Me: "Yeah, I fell in love for the first time and have no regrets. People thought it wasn't smart and told me not to meet her, but I had to follow my heart."
Blonde Girl: "Exactly. I mean, who cares, right. Like, life is short. I am twenty-five, in school, and have no idea what I, like, really want to do with the rest of my life. What's the big deal with that?"
I take her words in and find myself agreeing. Many of us think 25 is already kind of old, but it's really only the beginning. If only we believed that...
Me: "Honestly, I don't even know. I think everyone is still figuring it out, gurl."

Long distance love.

Most of us have a strong reaction to these words that's either, "Oh hell no!" or, "I'd love to try that." I've done it and it was great for that time. I remember feeling free and happy, even in those moments of complete ignorance.

But, as a young woman in your 20s, there should be some common sense in regards to safety and boundaries. Going to Mexico City to see a man you hardly know in addition to staying with him without seeing the accommodations just ain't smart. It's kind of fascinating, though, that she's doing this. It makes me wonder --

What makes us act with so much disregard and reckless abandon? What makes someone take a week off of work, call in a ton of favors, and ignore any and all advice to go do something like this?

It's naughty.

It's dangerous.

It's cool.

It's sexy.

It's gross.

Some may say that taking a flight to meet a complete stranger is just...stupid. Well, let's get real, most will say that. But, not me.

Why not take a chance -- even if it gets you killed?

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Marriage?!

2010-04-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

EXT. HOTEL - MORNING
I sit on the terrace a prestigious hotel with my Parents. The sun is at my back, and so is a monstrously large woman as she swims in a pool. I'm eatin' a bowl of fruit in between smiles and mellow sips of mimosas. We are celebrating their 11th year marriage anniversary, which continues to go strong.

Sundays are for relaxin' and talking, sometimes about love.

Parent 1: "Whew, I feel so much lighter now that I saw that man about a horse."
Parent 2: "I hope you sprayed."
Parent 1: "I did. Who knows if it'll help, but I feel ten pounds lighter!"
Ew. Is this what marriage is all about? I can't envision talking about my poo-poo so openly with my wife.
Parent 1: "What's this?"
He notices a card in front of him, opens it.
Parent 2: "Just a little something, something."
He reads the words. You can tell, though he's not emotional, that he's touched. Hard.
Parent 1: "Wow, that's special. What you said is special."
Parent 2: "I love you and here's to many more."
Parent 1: "That's right!"
I look at them and feel so glad that I am single. 11 years? And, that's not including the years they were together before that. Is it possible?
Me: "That's sweet, ya'll."
Parent 1: "Yep, you'll find this one day."
Me: "Um, I don't know...it seems so difficult. Relationships are hard, ya know."
Parent 1: "No, they aren't. Not when you find the right one. It's easy."
Parent 2 shuffles in her seat.
Parent 2: "I wouldn't say it's easy, but it's definitely smoother when you're with someone you love and who loves you back unconditionally."
Parent 1: "I think it's easy. Relationships should be."
Me: "I guess. It's just the whole marriage thing. I don't see that happening. At all."
Parent 1: "You're young. As you age and mature, you'll get a better sense of what you want and who you are...and you'll also find someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with."
He looks at his wife with love and I honestly feel like yawning, but not out of boredom. Out of pure lack of understanding of the connection that these two people have.

Being 20-something and just beginning the process of adulthood is a daunting task in itself. It's hard to conceive the future in three months let alone years down the line. With this unpredictability comes much freedom, experimentation, and frustration.

There are things yet to be understood, like marriage. A truly healthy, long lasting one at that. To be real, it's the farthest things from my mind. But, I can't help but feel like the older, wiser wisdom I received is in fact true -- marriage will come when you find the right person.

But,

My question is, what prepares you for staying strong during the tough times? Who and what gives you faith after the fifth, tenth, and 20th year? Are things always fresh and fun and new?

Perhaps the answer will only come as the days pass and our hair begins to change color. Maybe it'll be like that one missing puzzle piece you find underneath a shoe in the closet and just click when that time comes because you will have been through so much already. And you will have learned what love is really all about.

Chronicles Of A 20-Something...Love and Dating.

2010-04-21T20:38:00.000-07:00

Let's be real --

The 20s ain't so breezy. At all. For many reasons, like:

Peeps don't take you seriously.

You're constantly struggling to prove yourself.

Every time you get caught up on bills, your car suddenly needs another tire, thus leaving you with only $1 left in your bank account.

Makin' mistakes is as common as Tyler Perry coming out with another film based on stereotypes of African-Americans.

But,

the hardest thang above all others is dating. Oh, and love.

(photo found here)

Why? Honestly, the reasons can be debated until the end of time, but here are a few guesses:

There's no filter or ability to look out for those red flags that someone in their 30s, 40s, or 50s sees a mile away.

You don't put on the brakes when something deep down in your Soul doesn't feel right because they haven't been installed yet.

Plus, much to our regret, we don't just walk but run into those burning buildings. Those banks being robbed. The prisons full of convicts and chaotic peeps waiting to eat our heart for breakfast and sh*t it out before dinner.

Most of us simply know no better.

Yes. We go all in and don't look back, or think twice. We aren't jaded (for the most part) or wishing ill on an ex lover (yet).

We just want to love and be loved because, in the end, that's all we've ever known.

Until love and dating really begins.

Dating - A Strong Woman.

2010-04-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

This is Chaz Ebert.

A strong woman.

(photo found here)

As many of you recognize, below is Robert Ebert -- the world's most famous film critic. He's been a popular public figure for decades with shows such as Siskel and Ebert and The Movies and Sneak Previews. His voice is recognizable to millions, including myself.

Which is why I was shocked after finding out that he would forever be unable to speak when he suffered post-surgical complications related to thyroid cancer.

(photo found here)

Chaz and Robert Ebert. As you can imagine, they've been through a lot in the past several years. And the entire time, Chaz has watched and supported Ebert through all of the ups and downs of a tough disease called cancer, which she makes look easy:

"Sometimes, I'm almost ashamed we feel so positive. People think you shouldn't be so happy, because when you fall, it's going to be that much more disappointing. But you know what? We'll take each day as it comes" she told PopEater.

After watching them on Oprah, you get a true idea of how much they love each other. Ebert can't smell, taste, or talk anymore. Most people would spiral down into a deep depression, but not him. Everyday he watches movies and continues to write reviews. And, guess who is by his side -- Chaz. She drives him to every event, eats lunch with him daily, and always supports his decisions.

Strength.

Unconditional love.

Present moment thinking.

These things are hard to come by, but from what I've learned this past year in Los Angeles as a young adult, it's in all of us. Sometimes we have to be pushed, or hit rock bottom to see how strong we are inside.

We are all Chaz's. This isn't a question for me -- whether or not I would stand by my partner's side if she got cancer -- it's a fact. However, I know everyone is different. So, I'm throwing this out to you:

What would you do if you found out your boyfriend or girlfriend...husband or wife had a terminal illness?

Jobs and Hope and Paychecks.

2010-04-18T19:57:00.000-07:00

Most peeps know the amazing feeling of opening up an envelope and grabbin' out a check with your name on it.

(photo found here)

You earned it.

You worked hard for it.

You deserve it.

For those of us, young and old, who came into the workforce when the economy just went into a recession --

This feelin' is something new.

Perhaps that's why when I received my weekly check today I almost wanted to cry. It was like all of the pressure and worry I have had over the past year came to surface and finally left my body.

A check. How powerful it can be. Not just the dollar amount, but also what it symbolizes --

You're valued.

Part of me wants to frame it and keep it on my wall. The way I feel -- appreciated -- is priceless. And now I understand when people say how important the journey is. This is obvious to me as I look at my college friend who has grown so much in the past year as well:

INT. BAR - NIGHT

I stand at the bar with a glass of champagne in my hand. A gorgeous view of Los Angeles is at my back and I feel great. After a few moments, I spot my Friend. He's in a nice blazer and looks good. As I approach him:

Me: "Hey man, you look great!"

Friend: "Oh, thanks Lauren. Yeah, I figure I should dress up since there are a lot of important people here."

Me: "Yeah. Totally. But, you look happier, dude. Like a weight has been lifted."

Friend: "I feel good. I really like my job now. I think it's what I want to do for the rest of my life."

For some reason, I am so proud I want to give him a hug. A year ago he was crying every day and I couldn't crack a smile out of him. Now...he's so strong.

Me: "I'm so happy for you."

For both of us. We're making it on our terms, mistakes 'n all. As we sip on champagne, our gaze lands on the city. It's beautiful and alive -- like us.

Me: "It's good to see you doing so well."

Friend: "We're doing it. It's taking time but look at us. We're doing okay. Want another drink?"

Me: "Yeah, but just one more."

As he goes toward the bar, I take one last look at the night and smile to myself. We are doing it. And boy does it feel great.

Perhaps we all need to hit rock bottom, or some type of bottom to really enjoy the great things in life -- like getting a paycheck. Or, being able to buy a drink for your friend.

These days may not be easy for some of us, but the important thang is enjoying each step that we make...even if we go in the wrong direction. Most of us eventually find our way back anyway.

Off to da bank.

Dating - Top 5 Signs You Ain't Over Your Ex.

2010-04-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

Top 5 Signs

You Ain't Over Your Ex

1) You are always on his (or her) Facebook page looking at pics, his current fling, and anything you can get your virtual hands on.

2) Everytime you're sad, happy, or having a bad day you call your ex instead of your boo.

3) When your boyfriend asks you to cut all ties with him you refuse and accuse your man of being insecure and rude.

4) There ain't just clothes in your closet, but also everything she gave you while ya'll were together -- from a watch to a Hard Abs DVD.

5) You often bring him up in conversations, which makes you dwell on the past and wonder if you made the right decision...everyday.

Love and Disappointment and Hope.

2010-04-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

Unresponsiveness. Passive aggressive behavior. Full of attitude.

We all have experience with people who are like this. You reach out and get little to no response. Or, what you get is full of anger and meanness.

Sometimes,

You get a response but it's elusive, inconsistent, or blaming which leaves you asking questions. Even worse, blaming yourself.

It's like a puzzle that won't come together. Ya know, one of those 3,000 piece puzzles that you know they packaged incorrectly since you've been working on it --unsuccessfully--for five days straight.

You're left wondering why this and why that. And oh, don't even mention your friends. They ain't makin' it easy with shiznit like --

"He's an asshole, forget about him!"

"Move on and delete her from Facebook."

"Gurrrl, you best go Angela Basset on his ass."

Then you have those therapist types who say --

"Maybe it's better to focus on why you're reaching out to this toxic person."

"Perhaps a journal will help you to clarify things."

"Ever thought about anti-depressants?"

Yeah, sure, these are all options, but here's the issue --

They ain't your options.

Ultimately, you have to live with you and only you know what you want/need.

Howeva,

When someone isn't communicating with you or has inconsistent behavior, it may be a good idea to take a step back for your own sake and ask what you'd like to accomplish. It could be as simple as, "I'd like to talk every now to let him know I care." Or, it could be, "I want to work things out and get back together."

Whatever it is, clarify what you're seeking with yourself and consider dropping all expectations.

A lack of response can mean a variety of things just like passive aggressive behavior can as well. But, simply throwing out good energy every so often, whether it's a call or E-mail, offers a good balance.

Just because they ain't consistent doesn't mean you have to be that way as well. Follow your heart and change the dance by practicing unconditional love and healthy indifference. It's totally possible, although very hard.

Oh, and make sure you're ready. It's always a good idea to consider giving yourself some time to heal, whether it's from hurt by a former lover or family member. That way you'll have a better chance next time around when you do speak again.

Easier said than done...right?

Obama Helps Out Da Gays.

2010-04-16T23:06:00.001-07:00

Ya'll know politics ain't my thang, but I am becoming more involved as a young person since every decision made by our politicians ultimately impacts my life.

Speaking of which,

President Barack Obama recently mandated that nearly all hospitals around the country extend visitation rights to the partners or gay peeps and respect patients' choices about who they want to make important health related decisions for them.

(photo found here)

If I could hug ya man, I would!

Find out more information by clicking on this link.

Conversations With A Therapist.

2010-04-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

INT. ROOM - DAY
I sit in front of my beautiful, bald headed Therapist. She has a mug of hot chocolate while I have a nice cup of coffee.

It helps to calm me...or, perhaps, just the opposite.

Therapist: "...so, you feel like the relationship should have ended?"
Me: "Absolutely. Now I want to focus on healing. I know it'll take time to do that, but that's where I want the focus to be."
Therapist: "Makes sense. We all need that time. Do you think it could have been any different?"
Me: "Naw. This is how it was meant to go down. It's just...I knew in my gut it wouldn't work out. Like, I read the blogs I wrote about meeting her for the first time and I even mentioned there not being any feelings there."
Therapist: "Hmmm. Do you feel like you're at fault?"
I take a sip of coffee. Ahhhh.
Me: "I don't know. It could have been different. I definitely judged her a lot, which I feel bad about."
Silence.
Me: "Honestly, I feel a little shame."
Therapist: "That's what I was trying to get at. Why do you feel that way?"
Ugh. So much talking, so much digging. But, this is good for me.
Me: "Because it didn't work out. Because I didn't protect myself and I should have...and, I just wish I could have made it work. But, it wasn't possible."
Therapist: "But, it isn't your fault. Things just don't work out sometimes."
Me: "I know and my mind gets that. My heart is just trying to catch up. I can't help but wonder what I was thinking...though I am grateful to have loved her."
Therapist: "Maybe it's a good idea, then, to focus on that. The positives she brought to your life."
Yeah. Easier said than done. We sit there, enjoying our beverage of choice and the silence of this moment.
Me: "...I had a dream last night."
Her eyebrow perks up. She smiles.
Therapist: "Oh, really. About what?"
Me: "Being in love. It was strange because the woman I was in love with is someone I work with and have zero sexual attraction to...like none. But goodness, I can still feel how strong my feelings were for her. I felt so free, so alive. And, I could see she felt the same way about me. We laughed and had dinner over wine. There was no other place I wanted to be. It felt fuc*ing amazing."
Therapist: "Wow, I love dreams like that. It could be your Soul telling you not to worry because something amazing is on its way."
Me: "I like the sound of that. Dreams are cool."
Therapist: "Totally.
We smile to ourselves. I twist around in my seat slightly...maybe, just maybe my Soul is trying to say something to me. What that is I hope to one day figure out.

Song of the Week.

2010-04-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

His words touch me --

(Maxwell; photo found here)

"Playing Possom"

Come back from the dead

You left my, my heart here

Say what you will and won't forget

Express disappointment, speak your regrets, yeah

Or baby call out my name,

I'll be where you are

I'll be very still, step down to my heart

Amend this broken

If only you'd wake up from your constant possum playing

If only you'd wake up

I'm begging you sugar, have some leniency

Call the President and ask him baby, to pardon me and bring you

Back to me

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooooh

Amend this broken

If only you'd quit this nonsense of you possum playing

If only you'd wake up, would you wake up baby,

Wake up baby, baby, yeah

Dating - Top 10 Red Flags!

2010-04-16T21:27:00.000-07:00

Let's get real,

Dating is tough. You never know what the heck you're gettin', which can be a scary thang.

For me, I find that having a list of red flags in my mind saves a lot of time. It's the difference between wasting a few minutes, or a few months when you know what you want.

When you don't have an idea of that, you can find yourself hangin' with a person who isn't fulfilling your needs, wondering: what was it all worth?

(photo found here)

Top 10 Red Flags

1) Texataholic. Every time you hang with your special somebody, they always scan their phone or text during the date. This is disrespectful plus it ain't cool. Give 'em a shot to improve, but if it doesn't, move da hell on.

2) Dressed not to impress. You know how this goes -- the guy or gal comes to the club with sandles on and a dirty tank top. Or, she never puts on perfume/make-up when she probably should. Unless you like that look, you're probably better off bouncin' before it's too late.

3) Too much chaos. Does your love interest always talk about who they're fighting with or has a pattern of attracting drama?

4) Something doesn't smell right. Having a strong natural body odor is different than not showering or wearing deodorant. Check it.

5) Bad communicator. If ya'll can't figure out where to go on a date, or find that you express feelings in the opposite way, the road is gonna be hella rough. Like one person shuts down to solve an issue and the other insists on talking it through -- gettin' on the same page will be a challenge. But hey, if you're willing to work on it, don't fold on a pair of aces!

6) What are you looking at? If you're the only thing he or she can't keep their attention on, then pick up your keys and run out the door. There are many peeps who have the respect and kindness to Not look at others while spending time with you.

7) What's fake and what's not. Can't tell if her weave is fake or if he's really that well-endowed? Be honest and ask 'em...well, maybe not over dinner.

8) Let's Drink...again! Drinking in the morning, evening, and...well, all of the time, ain't cool. If you're seeing addictive behavior, be real with yourself.

9) The relationship addict. I don't know about you, but I'm definitely cautious of someone who is always in a relationship. How do you have time to know yourself and heal if you don't stop and breathe for a while?

10) Where da morals at? This is a big one. Don't let a nice ass or big breasts distract you on this, peeps. If you're dating someone who lies to others, steals, or participates in negative actions, run to your car. And if you stay, don't be surprised when your flat screen TV goes missing.

Dating - It's Cool to Focus on You!

2010-04-13T08:43:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful day.

You're single, whether it's recent or...not so recent.

And, it's all good.

You ain't trippin'.

(photo found here)

A new day. A new perspective, or two. A new outlook.

You find it nice to talk to a man or a woman and not feel a need to need them.

There's beauty in connecting, but connecting with yourself these days.

And the way your body moves when it's walking on the beach, how your toes sneak into the sand or simply float...you never noticed that before.

Or, how you like listening to music in your underwear while sippin' on hot coffee (okay, maybe that's just me!).

You're here.

Reflecting on life. Reaching out to old friends and new ones.

These are the things you're living for now -- a different kind of love thang.

And, ya know what?

It's Cool.

Dating - Let's Go To The Movies.

2010-04-12T00:07:00.000-07:00

Got a hot date planned but don't know where to date him or her?

Have no fear, the lezzie's here.

Date Night starring Steve Carell and Tina Fey is entertaining, funny as hell, and touching.

I went with a friend and enjoyed every minute of it, including the credits. This was the first time in several years that I spent 15 bucks on a movie and didn't feel like someone robbed me.

Date Night focuses on a boring married couple thrust into violence and car chases as they experience a case of mistaken identity in New York City while dining out to spice thangz up in their relationship.

Can't say it will make you want to get married, but you'll have many laughs. And, in terms of dating, that's a good thing. If you like the guy or gal you're seeing, go ahead and pay the $30. If not, take 'em to McDonalds and rent a movie for 3 bucks and call it a night.

For Your Viewing Pleasure.

2010-04-11T23:53:00.000-07:00

Some visual love makin', in the form of art, for ya'll --

Defriended!

2010-04-11T23:31:00.000-07:00

You start your laptop.

Sign onto Facebook.

Update your status. Look at different profiles. Check up on your friends, family, etc. Waste an hour or two chatting...and staring at random pictures.

Then...bam!! You notice that you're no longer friends with someone who means a lot to you.

(photo found here)

And, just like that, the questions begin. Why did they decide to do that? When did this happen? Couldn't they have said something first, or at least communicated their reason for this action?

We've all been there at some point. And if you don't think you have, guess again. Check your friend count. I guarantee it's lower than it was a month ago.

I've done this before, years ago, for two reasons: because someone greatly offended me, and to avoid having to see an ex girlfriend's status update all of the time.

To be real, it helped. A lot. But, having it done to me has made me think about it now. What do you think? Have you done this before and why?

Song of the Week.

2010-04-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

Music is a beautiful thang. It's always great to have an ipod nearby, ready to take with you on the bus. Or, on a date. One of the cutest things a woman did on a date was pull out her ipod on the train and share her headphones with me so that we could listen to a song at the same time.

Music reminds us of experiences...memories. Things we've been through. People. Lovers. Hurt.

Like when I listen to opera, I smile. It reminds me of being in love in New York City and the person I was back then.

For me, this man's voice touches my Heart --

(photo found here)

"Bad Habits"

Make me crazy, don't speak no sound
I want you to prove it to me in the nude
Addicted to the way you move

Honey, if anything ever should change in you
Don't worry I'm standing still
I'll move in with the right of will

This is the highest cost, take you and make you off
Love you and leave you lost, will you forgive me?
Asked out all over town, drags you and keeps you down
Two times in a day around, will you forgive me?

I can't control the feeling girl 'cause I know you're here
I feel you from the floor to the ceiling
Girl, I feel you when you comb your hair

Lady when we lock it low we get together, it's an overdose
I'm slipping, I'm here, I'm on my knees
I feel my heart's about to explode

This is the highest cost, take you and make you off

Love you and leave you lost, will you forgive me?
Asked out all over town, drags you and keeps you down
Two times in a day around, will you forgive me?

Baby to tell the truth when I'm sober I jones for you
When it's over I'm overdue
Girl there's no one as bad, no one as bad as you

You got me, you got me
You got me slippin' around with it, around with it, oh why?
You got me sick with this love baby
I'm so, I'm so in love, I can't come down

This is the highest cost, take you and make you off

Love you and leave you lost, will you forgive me?
Asked out all over town, drags you and keeps you down
Two times in a day around, will you forgive me?

You're my bad habit baby, you're my
You're takin' my soul down to the letter O
Can't escape the way you got me locked out baby
I gotta break from you, break from you, break from you

This is the highest cost, take you and make you off
Love you and leave you lost, will you forgive me?

Asked out all over town, drags you and keeps you down
Two times in a day around, will you forgive me?
Will you forgive me?
Will you forgive me?Will you forgive me?
Will you forgive me?
Asked out all over town, drags you and keeps you down
Two times in a day around, will you forgive me?
I can't control the feeling...I can't controling the feeling, feeling, feeling.

Unhealthiest Coffee Drinks.

2010-04-07T21:31:00.000-07:00

According to a recent article I read today, some coffee drinks can be much higher in calories than the meals we consume.

Like a 20 Oz Krispy Kreme Lotta Latte Chiller. It has 1,050 calories and 40 grams of fat.

Sexy, right?

In life we take a lot of risks. Walking down the street. Breathing in polluted air.

Falling in love.

Yet, we continue to sip sip everyday, forgetting about any potential life altering effects.

(photo found here)

But hey, let's get real.

No iced coffee drink, Big Mac, or piece of fried chicken is worse than --

(photo found here)

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Pictures.

2010-04-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

Was on my way to work and thought I'd take a picture or two for ya'll --

Nature does everybody some good:

We all need hobbies to balance out the normal routine of each day. As we grow older, learning more about who we are usually comes with the territory.

This is a good thang.

I'm finding that taking pictures helps to relieve stress. And, it keeps my mind in a positive, fun place.

What are some things you do that make you smile?

Do You Hear Me, Father?

2010-04-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

As a maturing woman in her 20s, I am beginning to appreciate the people I love more and more. Specifically, my family. Life is so short that I would hate to look back and think, "I wish I would have been closer to my brothers, or my father."

Regrets ain't so cool.

When I'm old and grey, I want to be able to chill on my porch all day with a smile, knowing that I lived and loved. Hard. And, that everyone knew how much I cared.

That's why it breaks my heart to watch shows like Intervention where relationships have been destroyed due to an addiction to drugs, pills, etc. You see a childhood that was lost. A gap in the Soul of these peeps that may never be filled.

There was this man on a recent episode. With dark-rimmed glasses and a stone face caused by years of neglect from not having a father at home. Who is his daddy? Rocky Lockridge, a once famous boxer but now broke and homeless bum living in filth on the streets. He's also addicted to crack and has no other passion in life except to get more.

That's why he's the main event on this week's episode of Intervention. And, that's why he doesn't know any of his sons; he left them when they were small boys. For most of their life, they grew up thinking he was dead, not living in another state doing his own thang...which he was.

So, you can imagine, when this stone faced man finally sat in a room with his father during the intervention stage, there was moment when his voice cracked. A moment when his Being let out a sigh after years of silent tears and wishful moments of a father that never was around.

Until finally, the words started pouring out --

"People tell me that you're the champ. The champ of what?"

"You've left me looking over my shoulder at every black man that walks past me, hoping that it was you."

(photo found here)

"I've waited over fifteen years for this moment!" He yelled, tears running down his face. "Do you hear me?"

"Sure son. Ain't nothing slow 'bout your daddy 'cept the way he moves," Rocky replied with a sad look in his eyes.

"I have no faith in you."

Ouch.

"You've caused me to hate you with a passion so deep it runs through my veins like the blood that flows through yours! And still I am here because I know that somewhere, deep down in my heart, I still love you."

Rocky, unable to keep his composure, let out a loud cry that lasted over five seconds. It felt and sounded like a terrible, deep pain that lives in him.

This is the moment where I broke down. A family ravaged by an absent father. Torn apart by the man they needed to see everyday. An old boxer who couldn't live down his past, or the shame of losing his success as a boxer. It's sad. It's f-cked up. It's messy. It's full of tears.

When his son says, "Please change my faith in my father," you hope that he will. For his family, for himself, and for their future.

We all deserve to sit on that porch.

Chasing Pavements.

2010-04-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

Some of us

protect ourselves because it hurts too much to let go.

Or, maybe because it’s scary to let someone see what’s deep down inside, past the blood and the guts and the tears.

Like a prison, almost. Except it’s our own.

Don’t come too close or you’ll bite...right?

Or, perhaps, you’ll get bitten.

But, let’s get real --

Sigh

Screw it, what do I know? I got my guard up, too. And frankly, I’m one heartbreak away from lockin’ up shop permanently. I know there are many of you out there smiling in agreement, two seconds away from callin’ it quits on love. At least you wouldn’t have to shave your legs as often, among other thangs.

I identify with wanting to give up, with not understanding what it was all worth after putting in all those sleepless nights and endless fights. I see you --

The jaded hearts.

The mangled limbs.

The life still waiting to come back into the Soul that fell to the ground when she left.

I feel you.

Yet, just as we almost finish building those steel doors and cement walls around our heart, another PYT comes walkin’ around the corner.

Then:

We, you, and I fall even harder as we chase her pavement.

(photo found here)

Love My O.

2010-04-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord, Oprah. I love you more and more as the days go by.

(photo found here)

You are the realest thing on television.

It's obvious that Oprah is going out with a bang and on her usual mission of touching people through the TV screen.

She won't be here much longer, folks. Tune in and enjoy...or, just purchase a subscription to her network -- OWN.

Today she had on a woman who lost 175 pounds and then gained it all back. My heart broke for her, but then it was put back together as she explained that her husband stuck by her side and supported her the entire way.

:Sigh:

Unconditional love. The kind of thang where you'll be by your partner's side no matter what happens. It's something that I admire in people. And, also something I haven't experienced

before on a romantic level.

Truly feeling like I can be myself and not feel judged. Not feel like the person is going to run off when I have a moment of vulnerability. But, perhaps, that's my own issue. Okay, it totally is my issue!

Howeva, as a single woman, that's what I'm looking for: unconditional love, which starts with me. Knowing that I deserve that shiznit. Believing it. Feeling it.

I think that's the key to dating. Taking yourself out for a while, again and again until it starts to feel good. Buying yourself a gift or two until you start to get used to it. And then, forgiving yourself when you make mistakes. Like --

When a relationship doesn't work out

You have to ask your pops for rent money

That job interview didn't go the way you had hoped

Perhaps it's when we say it's okay that there's a shift. When we breathe and embrace who we are deep down, even the darkest part of ourselves. Knowing that it's part of being human and part of what makes us the amazing person that we are.

. . . Maybe.

Late Night Thoughts.

2010-04-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

Love is hard. Don't get me wrong. It's good one day, and then it's bad the next.

But,

You can't give up. We can't give up. For every broken, failed relationship we grow. And grow, and grow.

To all of you who are jaded, unsure about if you'll ever find love again, and/or mending a disappointed heart:

Keep Da Goddamn Faith.

Life - Knowing When To Fight.

2010-03-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

Two elderly sisters haven't spoken in over 5 years because of a $500,000 jackpot.

$$$$ + sisters + stubbornness = law suit

Rose Bakaysa, 87, and Theresa Sokaitis, 84, stopped talking after Rose won the lottery with her winning numbers. When Sokaitis found out about her sister's winnings, she told Rose that she deserved half of it. Apparently Rose told Theresa that she wouldn't see a dime and, after a huge fight in 2004, the two ladies parted ways.

Look,

I get it. Money is a beautiful thang. It can give you total freedom and comfort. It can buy you things and take you places you never imagined. But, it should never come between family...right?

And, if it does, at least fight over a larger amount of money, like $100 million. It's kind of embarrassing to cut anyone out of your life for such a small amount of dough...unless you have nothing to lose.

Perhaps Rose doesn't care about her sister enough to want a relationship. Maybe she's over trying and simply wants to live for herself. It's not nice, but it's okay if that's what she wants.

Young or old, we all go through challenges in life. We all fight -- winning and sometimes losing.

Only you know what battles are worth fighting for.

I'll Take the Cheater For $9 Million.

2010-03-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

In North Carolina you can sue someone for cheating with your husband or wife, and that's just what Cynthia Shackelford did to her hubby's mistress -- Anne Lindquist -- for 9 million big ones.

Sniz-zaaap.

I definitely like this story, but...is it really Anne's fault? I mean, her husband is the one who flirted and, um, had sex with her. He had to be open to the idea of cheating for the woman to approach him. For example,

I was at an event last night where I was able to meet the Lakers team. Some of those men are married, like Kobe, Lamar, Odom, Fisher, and Farmar which you definitely notice by their body language and eye contact. They didn't talk to one woman unless she was old, married, or not hot. They aren't looking to ruin their marriage by chattin' it up with a pretty young thang.

It's obvious in their energy, body language, and actions that they aren't looking for a fling or part-time lover.

In most cases, when there isn't room for an opening, cheating doesn't go down. I think Cynthia's husband wasn't happy in their 33 year marriage, which is why he walked out on her. He made a choice to cheat and disrespect his family in that way, not his mistress. Too bad you can't sue his ass.

What do you think?

For All The Sandra B's In Da House.

2010-03-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

It's true, Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock, the academy award winning actress, with a young woman who E-mailed him about being a tattoo model for his company.

(photo found here)

Is there really anything to say? It's disgusting and sad...and messy. I heard about this and I almost wanted to cry for her.

It wasn't like Tiger. When I found out about him, it was surprising and funny. More funny than anything else. The golf club. All of the gross woman he slept with. His bruised eye. The texts. I mean, heck, peeps debated all over the country about it, and got a good chuckle, too. I even bet some marriages were saved. "Hey, we don't have it as bad as Tiger and his wife...let's go to Paris instead of filing for a divorce."

But, what happened to Sandra isn't humorous in any way. Why? Because she's a nice woman who never let go, emotionally, to anyone until she met Jesse. She's never been in a huge scandal or hit someone in the face. Her track record is flawless. Sigh. Can you imagine what kind of damage this is going to have on her heart...her self-esteem...her Soul?

I'm angry. I feel like a protective younger sister, which is way strange for me since I don't even know this woman, but still...I feel for her. She was so genuinely happy with him. Anyone could see this, even from her most recent interviews after the Oscars with Oprah and Barbara Walters. Recently, with Ms.Walters, Sandra said a few words about being with Jesse:

"I finally feel like I have a home to come to."

Yup, a home that a tornado just rolled through and tore into pieces. And, it wasn't like she saw this thang coming. The sky went from bright ass blue to dark grey in a split second, and bam! It dropped from the sky, sucking up Sandra's heart and her Oscar high.

What can you say other than nothing? As her friend, what do you do except hold her and be compassionate?

How do we pick up the pieces after such hurt and heartache and start over again without carrying that into another relationship?

I don't have the answer because I really don't know and I'm trying to figure that out as well. But, I do think it depends on the individual. My hope is that, after healing from this, Sandra will open up to love again and attract a man who will have enough respect not to do this. I understand that she followed her heart and didn't disqualify Jesse from the man pool for having a different lifestyle. It was an inspiration to me that she was so open-minded, loving, and non judgemental. But, it's time to move on to bigger and better men in the future. Ya know, like ones who won't cheat for almost a year while their wife is making money for the family and trying to help you gain custody of your child.

Life's all about livin' and learnin' -- sometimes one heartbreak at a time.

Anyway, keep your head up, S. You'll be just fine.

The Marriage Ref.

2010-03-12T09:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, no lie, this show is FUNNY.

Executive Produced by Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah, he's never on it, but that's a good thang!

It's entertaining, light-hearted, and interested. It doesn't delve deep or analyze relationships on an emotional level, but who really wants to watch that anyway?

Check
it
out.

Thursdays. Martha and Cedric the Entertainer are going to be on next week. Can't wait!

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, When There's No Hope.

2010-03-11T20:00:00.000-08:00

You know how this goes. I sigh --

INT. ROOM - DAY
I'm chillin' in a chair chattin' with some dope ladies. The discussion is heavy, and so are our spirits. The recession has been tough, combined with other life shiznit.

Woman 1: "I'm losing everything. My home, my job, my car, and maybe even my dogs. I can't believe this is my life. I am educated and have always had an amazing job."
She looks down. I wish there was something to say or do to make it better, but there isn't. Not at this moment.
Woman 1: "I'm already broke. My credit is ruined. I have nothing. I am so fu-king depressed I don't know what to do anymore. I started anti-depressants again, but they aren't helping that much...I'm at a loss for words."
Woman 2: "Isn't EDD going to extend your benefits? That won't save your house, but, I mean, at least it will keep you afloat, right?"
Woman 1: "EDD can kiss my ass."
The group laughs.
Woman 1: "I can't take being broke. I mean, I was at this point over 25 years ago as a young adult. I am not starting over in Los Angeles again. Hell no. I am going to move to Utah where I have family and try to regroup."
Me: "Will you be happy in Utah?"
Woman 1: "I can't think about happiness. All I can think about is how to keep the roof over my head and if I am going to lose my dogs. I am in constant panic mode. I am sick of it. I want to leave California and move on."
I go silent, left with my thoughts. It feels like she's running away. Like she doesn't want to face, as she would say, failure. The failure of looking at the house she used to own. The failure of driving past her former work. The failure of having to live in a small apartment paying over $700 dollars a month. And, frankly, I don't blame her.
Woman 1: "I'm devastated. I can't even get a $9 an hour job. Do you know how that feels for someone like me? Love hasn't worked. Jobs haven't worked. And, now life isn't working. I have to get away from this place and all that I've lost."
Me: "I hear ya. Sounds like the good thing is that you have an option. And, support. Even if you end up staying, which you may, now you're more aware of that."
Woman 1: "I still feel alone. Last week I felt like no one was there for me. Like how I felt when I was a kid. I don't like it. I need to be around my family. So yeah, you're right."
Me: "Feeling alone. I understand. And, that's all the more reason why you should consider going where there is love and support on a daily basis. Isolation can really turn out to be jacked up on our spirits."
Woman 1: "We'll see what happens. But yeah, happiness ain't on my agenda right now. I'm trying to figure out how to stop drowning."
The group goes silent, not knowing what to say. It's a tough time on many of us, some harder than most. I glance up at her and wonder if she sees how amazing and talented she is. And, if she sees that hope and happiness are closer than she thinks.

What do you say when someone is drowning?

What do you do?

Perhaps the best option is simply to be there for that person, emotionally. We all go through our ups and downs in life, including myself.

Who knows if my friend will bounce back, but at least she knows I am here for her. That we're all here. And sometimes, just being there is all the support we ever need.

Jersey What?

2010-02-23T21:05:00.000-08:00

(photo found here)

Sigh.

Are their 15 minutes up yet?

I appreciate what they've accomplished. Totally. But, as a young person I feel that they give me and many alike a bad rap.

While they're here I will laugh and love 'em, but when they're gone I won't miss them much.

Avatar.

2010-02-19T15:40:00.000-08:00

I finally saw Avatar for the first time and it was nothing short of amazing.

(photo found here)

I know people are angry about the racial implications, but it doesn't bother me at all. The work that was done on this film is evident by the CGI work, creative designs, and unique world. In my opinion, a great film stays with you and makes you think about controversial subjects. No lie, I was talking to myself as I drove home about the movie. It stirred me up. James Cameron makes a huge statement about America and how this country came to be, which wasn't fair for many people and races. It's honest, beautiful, and heartbreaking all at the same time.

There are things I'd love to focus on, but most of it would give away details about the film. I would hate to blow it for those who haven't seen it. But, I will say, that I was inspired by the love story and how it survived a war, literally and emotionally. It was a great experience. Go check it out if you haven't. Even if the story doesn't stay with you, the images and colors will.

I'll Take Some Words.

2010-02-19T14:51:00.000-08:00

Welp, I think it's obvious that I haven't been blogging as much these past few months.

I'd love to blame it on something tragic like cancer. Or, on something not so tragic, like getting a full-time job that has me so busy I can barely make time to sleep.

But, I will admit it here and now, that the main reason is because I haven't felt very inspired to write. And, I know there are some of you who are thinking, "Be real, gurl. It's because you were dating a hot mamacita." Sure, that may be part of the mix, but it ain't most of it.

Also, I figured out that since the conversations I blogged about were at bars and clubs, I had to always be there. Well, peeps, I haven't been out to a bar in a long time. As a result, I haven't had my usual conversations with other women and men.

(photo found here)

But, today's a new day. No more excuses from this point on. I'm going to keep on writing and staying inspired if it kills me. Well, not if it kills me...you know what I'm sayin'. Sometimes we get off course in life, and I hope you're more forgiving than my grandparents who were very angry after not hearing my voice for a few weeks:

You know how this goes. I sigh --

I sit in my room talking to Wisconsin on the phone. It's a beautiful day outside and I am dying to go for a walk. I hear a beep on my phone and check it. My grandparents are calling. Time to switch on ova.

Me: "Hey grandma."

Silence.

Me: "Uh...hello?"

Grandma: "Oh, you're alive. I tell ya, we never hear from you."

I think it has been three or four weeks, but okay...never works, too.

Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, grandma. I know it has been a few weeks, but I've just been going through a lot in --

She interrupts, not hearing anything I am saying. She has been waiting to lay into me.

Grandma: "We used to hear from you all the time. You used to be so good about that. Now you never call."

Me: "Grandma, I have always called you guys every week since I was a young girl. Come on now. That's not fair."

Grandma: "Look, I'll tell ya one thing. You better stay outta trouble. Stay outta them drugs and bars and quit that drinking."

Okay...since when did I start doing drugs and drinking? Her imagination has been running wild. But, I understand. She's worried that her jobless granddaughter is going downhill.

Me: "Grandma, I am fine. I don't do drugs or any of that stuff. I am taking care of myself."

Grandma: "Mmmhmm. I told your grandfather I wasn't going to call you. That I'd wait to hear from you, but I thought I would call anyway."

Me: "Okay, well thank you. I love you very much. How are you?"

Okay, good. We made up. Now she'll get off my tail.

Grandma: "Fine, but you should be better about calling us."

Spoke too soon I guess.

Yeah, my grandparents were a little harsh, but that's life. I know she was upset because she cares and is concerned. I share that conversation because it's funny and speaks to what a lot of folks are going through. Sometimes you'll face adversity and people, like family, who think you're not doing enough. My grandparents love me, but they'd love it if I moved home and got a job doing what I hated as long as it paid my bills. They don't care about my dreams or what makes me happy. Now, this isn't because they don't love me. It's because they're scared that I may fail and, in the end, all they want is for me to be taken care of.

I say to you and to me, be strong. Follow your heart and do what makes you happy. There will be those telling you to move back home or to give up on your dreams in life. Stay positive and know that you have a purpose on this Planet. We're all made up of incredible gifts and talents. We just have to bring them out, not tear them down.

Besos.

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Staying Positive.

2010-02-17T18:56:00.000-08:00

Joel Osteen is a pastor at Lakewood Church in Houston and book author. In my eyes, he's also

Da Man.

(photo found here)

To be real, Mr. Osteen is bringing out my bright Spirit, which hasn't been so visible these days. His book, It's Your Time, touches my heart and makes me realize how we sometimes hold ourselves back.

There are a lot of negative things happening in the world. The economy. The war. Health Care. But, it's our choice to either wallow in the destructiveness or take it as a way to reinvent who we have always been.

Steve Jobs didn't give up. Even when Apple board members voted him out of the company he created at the age of twenty, Mr. Jobs continued to shine by creating a few more companies. And, after realizing that they made a mistake, the board members asked him to rejoin Apple. Look where he is today.

Think about Thomas Edison. He tried hundreds and hundreds of times to create the light bulb only to fail. If he had told himself, "Well, this clearly isn't going to work. I might as well give up," the world would never have been able to use his invention -- the light bulb.

Or, Mary Bethune who grew up poor in South Carolina as a child. She had a dream to teach children in Africa but was rejected, despite her amazing reputation, from an African missionary. Did she give up on her dream to teach? No. She decided to open up a school for girls and boys in her home state. For the first few years they used cardboard for desks and had no books. It later became the Bethune-Cookman School, going from six kids to a large institute. She later became the first black woman to be President of a college and the first African-American woman to serve as a presidential advisor under Franklin Roosevelt.

These people, among others, didn't give up. They were at their lowest and, instead of giving into depression or self-pity, they adapted and went after their dreams. If every single person believed in themselves and their ideas like they did, we'd be better off.

Joel talks about how we all have the right components within us to reach amazing heights. But, that we have to try and reach before we can hold our dreams. That job you want ain't going to knock on your door. We have to try our best by applying to jobs every day and networking with others. It's the same with getting into shape. We have to have the motivation to walk to the gym and get on that treadmill. And, once we do, it'll be easier the next time and the next time. That's what growing stronger and more confident feels like.

I definitely know what it feels like to attend a self-pity party, but that's ova. Now is the time to look within and go for it. Sure, I've been kicked down a few times in the past year, but I'm still here. You're still here. When I read Joel's words, I believed that all I have been through has happened for a reason. Not having as much dinero as I'd like. Being unhappy with my career. Struggling to get interviews. All of these things happened for a reason.

In my opinion, when you're at the bottom, spiritually and emotionally, two things can happen: you look within yourself in a positive way or in a negative way. Take that lay-off as a blessing. Maybe it will lead to you discovering a new talent or skill that will change your life. Like that woman who didn't become an opera singer as a young girl because her parents said she wasn't good enough. It wasn't until the age of 90 that she finally became an opera singer, but she did it. People came from all over the world to watch her sing.

It's never too late.

So, let's make a deal, you and me. Let's live for today and reach for our dreams. They are there waiting on us to snatch 'em up...if only we knew it's our time.

Rite Aid - Game of Life

2010-02-08T23:17:00.000-08:00

I am a little obsessed with this game. If you don't know about it, check it out.

Oh, and I need game piece #8.

-Peace

Welcome, February.

2010-02-01T15:14:00.000-08:00

Oh, February, how I love thee.

(photo found here)

Yeah, you may not last that long, but you're the shiznit.

Kisses
Candles
Chocolate
Love
Soft gazes
And, most importantly,

(photo found here)

That's right. Black folk. This month is all about my peeps! I can smell the appreciation in the air as I walk outside my door every day. We've come a long way and brought a lot to this world. Hip hop. Dance. Jazz. Straight up coolness. Strength.

This is also a time to thank those amazing leaders who came before us to give individuals like me the rights I have, like walking down the street or getting to sit anywhere I want on da bus. These are things I definitely take for granted and don't think about. But, today, that changes. I'm here to say --

Thank you.

Jenny Craig Lawsuit.

2010-01-19T18:28:00.000-08:00

Sad news, but Jenny Craig is getting sued by Weight Watchers International Inc.

Here's the dealio --

In a recent commercial, Jennny Craig falsely claimed that "a major clinical trial" shows its clients on average lost more than twice as much weight as "those on the largest weight loss program" (a Weight Watchers reference).

What's the problem with this?

Well, Weight Watchers claims Jenny Craig didn't conduct any major clinical trial, amongst other thangz.

Uh-o.

Honestly, I think J.C. has a major issue on their hands here. But, I hope Weight Watchers doesn't want that much money. However, if they do, I understand. I wouldn't want another person or entity giving false information to millions of people. Straight up, it just ain't fair.

Keep your eyes on this, folks.

The Sun Still Shines.

2010-01-10T09:28:00.000-08:00

Today is a new day, peeps.
(photo found here)

Forget the past -- the lack of funds in your account or the abusive relationship you endured last year. That's over. It doesn't matter in this moment, at this time. The most important thing is that you're still here. I'm still here. We're still here. Standing. We may have our shoulders slumped a little bit, but that's going to change because today's a new day.

The sun is bright and beautiful. I feel opportunities and new beginnings. I feel like this year is going to be the best year of my life. Not just for me, but for all of us.

Keep your head up.

Lakers - All Da Way!

2010-01-04T09:19:00.001-08:00

(photo found here)

Mark my words. The Lakers are going all da way this year!

Celtics, it ain't happening. Ya'll stay healthy for about as long as Tiger Woods goes without puttin' his club into a fresh (or not so fresh) hole.

Cavaliers, just call it quits. You got Superman in LaBron, but what are ya going to do with Shaq who can't even jump more than an inch off da floor?

Magic, put your wand down. Only trick you got is...oh, you don't have any.

There may be a lot of talent in the NBA, but no team compares to The Lakers. With Kobe, Gasol, Bynum, Artest, and Odom it's a d-o-n-e deal. Just wait and watch, peeps.

Things From the Past.

2010-01-04T08:41:00.000-08:00

When two people love each other, unconditionally, it's a beautiful thang.

(Photo found here)

The sharing of cute smiles across a room. Holding hands. Making love. Even having little spats that end up making you both laugh hysterically. It's all great.

But, inevitably, there are certain things that bother both you. One being -- your lover still has things from previous relationships. Yeah, I know. This is a loaded topic that even I can't really make a discussion about. Why?

Because life's too short to focus energy on an object that only has the power we give it...right?

OR

Do we need to clean our mental, emotional, and physical space of past hurts and love in order to be completely ready to move on?

Honestly, I used to be very cut 'n dry about this. If a woman had anything -- a piece of candy or a picture -- from another relationship, I would automatically assume she was still in love with the individual. Plus, when I was younger, I threw out everything from every person I was with in my life.

Comparing and expecting peeps to be like you = not so great.

But now, as I've gotten older and more mature, I wish I had the pictures and letters for the sake of my memory and being reminded of a specific time in my life. Looking back, It feels like I was running away from my experience(s) when I tossed those things in the trash, perhaps, out of insecurity. So, now I understand why some individuals still hold on to things from years and years ago. It's a reminder of how much we've grown and how much we loved.

Being loved = awesome

So, don't sweat the small shiznit, peeps. If your partner has a few items from the past, think about how, in your heart, it feels to be with 'em. Listen to your intuition. It'll tell you if the person is completely with you or someone else emotionally. It may tell you that the person is with you but you may still want 'em to throw stuff out. Hey, then that's fine as well. And, if the person is ready to move on and get rid of it, your request shouldn't be an issue. But, ask yourself if you're giving these things more power than they deserve? And, are you doing it out of love or fear?

Ultimately, we have to make decisions for ourselves. You know what you're comfortable with and what you're not. But hey, let's break it down: relationships are hard enough. Maybe the focus should be more on connecting and getting to know each other.

However,

If you're with someone who is still wearing a wedding ring or occasionally calls you by their ex-girlfriend's name, then you may want to rethink things.

Word.

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Odd Jobs.

2010-01-02T23:05:00.000-08:00

It's survival of the fittest, peeps.

We're in a new year with an old recession and no one is safe.

It seems like everyday someone I know, young and old, is having to move back home or in with a relative who takes pity on them.

"I can't pay rent anymore so I'm moving in with my parents."

"The bank's taking my house. I have no choice but to get out of this f-c-ing town before it kills me."

"My unemployment's running out. At least at home I can do nothing there, too."

I've been close to being one of 'em, but what had helped is getting random jobs to pay da bills. Things I've done in the past year:

1)Enumerator for the Census Bureau, helping count the millions of peeps in the nation.

2)Audience work for various shows, such as America's Got Talent.

3) Banquet Captain for one of the most prestigious hotels in Los Angeles.

4) Server for a catering company and various entertainment events.

5) Set Production Assistant.

6) Temp.

7) Flier distributor.

Whew. That's a lot of jobs! And at all of those places I heard stories of people going bankrupt or losing their job.

There was always a story that ended sad and lonely.

It breaks your heart and makes you mad as Hell. Truthfully, who knows if I or you will end up going back home or if we will lose our current job(s), but I know one thing:

I will survive. You will survive. We will survive.

Just because you had to pack up and go back home doesn't mean you failed. It's a new beginning. A chance for you to look within and ask yourself, "What's my passion?" Or, "What do I want to do with the rest of my life?" And, before you know it, the answers will come.

It may take a while, but they'll come. Stay strong.

Brittany Murphy.

2009-12-21T01:04:00.001-08:00

We all know her well. I know I do. Damn, I watched Clueless, like, over a million times.

Brittany Murphy = da shiznit.

(photo found here)

32. Young. Beautiful. Talented.

Rest in peace, yo.

The Princess and the Frog.

2009-12-11T14:33:00.000-08:00

It's about time America and Walt Disney welcomed its fist black princess to da big screen.

(photo found here)

Her name is Tiana and tomorrow night, her film comes out.

Amidst all of this Obamamania, I believe this film will attract peeps who would probably not see it a year ago. And, let's face it, half of them will probably be there because Oprah's a part of the project. I know I'm one of 'em. How do I feel?

Proud.

Proud to be a black woman, screenwriter, and human being.

Disney, you're movin' on up. Congrats.

Lady Gaga and Da Queen.

2009-12-09T15:54:00.000-08:00

Can I just say,

I love Lady Gaga. Check it --

(photo found here)

Late Night Conversation.

2009-12-06T00:56:00.000-08:00

You know how this goes...

I sigh.

INT. BAR - NIGHT
Champagne. No cherry. I have a hoody on and it feels nice. Next to me sits a good Friend.

We're talking about love and hurt and assholes.

Me: "So, did your girlfriend have a good time during her visit?"
My Friend pauses, not taking her eyes off the glass of merlot in front of her.
Friend: "Umm...we had a terrible fight. She left after a few days. I bought her a ticket and now she's back in Italy."
Huh? I glance at my champagne glass, distracted by the popping bubbles. Are they surprised, too?
Me: "Wow. What the hell happened?"
Friend: "I'm...I don't know. I miss her when she's gone and can't stand it when she's here. We just fight all of the time. This girl gave me a hug at a bar and she went crazy. We yelled and screamed until she finally told me she wants to go back to Italy."
Me: "So, you're going to move back there, right?"
Pause.
Me: "...hello?"
Friend: "I don't know. I mean, maybe. I want to give it time. We've been together four years. I'm in love with her but want to think right now."
Me: "If you're in love with her, wouldn't you be there?"
Pause.
Friend: "I guess you're right. I should be there if I truly love her in that way, but I like my life here."
Me: "Well, do you think you're in love with her?"
Friend: "Yes. I mean, she annoys me. I just ignore her when she's mad now and she hates it. I went surfing alone and left her at the house when she was here."
Damn.
Friend: "I don't know if this makes sense, but I know it won't matter. How I treat her. She'll still be there."
Me: "Like, you know you can get away with whatever?"
Friend: "As bad as it sounds, yes. She'll come back."
Me: "So, that's why you're mean to her?"
Friend: "Yes, and her crazy possessive behavior makes me act that way."
Me: "Oh, come on now. You can't blame that on her. You're in control of your actions, not her."
Friend: "I know. I'm an asshole. I can't help it. I try to change."
I sit there, quiet. What is there to say?
Me: "Maybe you just need some space, emotionally, for a while to see where your heart will end up."
Friend: "I don't know what I need."
I take a sip of my lovely champange, letting the music and conversation take over our attention. Sometimes words just ain't needed.

This is a tough one to swallow. I find myself not able or wanting to get on her case for being rude to her girlfriend. Sometimes we can't explain the things that we do, and I get that. I've been there. But, ultimately, what makes me sympathize with her is the fact that she seems so stuck. Not knowing whether to break up or continue a relationship that has no great destination. I gotta say, though, that it's hard not to get on her ass since she's been with this woman for so many years and doesn't seem to be in love anymore.

But hey, what do I know? Perhaps they are madly in love and just going through a frustrated point in their lives. Maybe they both need to be living in Italy in order to have a fair shot together.

Sigh. Screw that. If it's meant to be, it'll be. No matter the distance, time, or issue. Being in love is being in love. Just like being out of love is, well...

being out of love.

Come Out, Come Out. . .

2009-12-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

All of the peeps watching The Today Show had a nice surprise on this morning's show when actress Meredith Baxter ("Family Ties") told the world she's a lesbian.

I could come up with numerous jokes about this news, but what matters most is that she finally found the courage to be herself. For that, I am thankful and excited to see others follow in her footsteps.

Welcome to Lezzie Land, Meredith.

Tiger Woods - Stuck in A Sandtrap.

2009-12-02T14:10:00.000-08:00

Welp, it's official, folks. Tiger Woods had at least 1 affair, if not many more.

I gotta say, I'm shocked. Like Kobe Bryant's transgressions a few years back (r-a-p-e allegations), I just didn't see it coming. How can this sweet lookin' Mo-Fo be cheating on his wife? Okay, I guess one reason could be he's unhappy, but why not get a divorce? 'Cause the way thangz are going down right now it's more embarrassing for everyone involved by not signing those papers.

Which inspires me to ask, where's the respect? At the end of the day, that should be there. I can totally understand falling out of love with an individual, but not completely throwing care and consideration out da window. We all know that Tiger was lying, which caused his wife to go through his phone (amongst other things, probably). All he had to do was break it down and tell her, "I'm seeing other women. I'm not happy in this marriage." Sure, maybe he did, but I doubt it. Tiger was obviously very sneaky and dishonest about his cheating (check out the voicemails he left some of the ladies he slept with).

Okay, let me try to understand something real quick. What would cause me to go through my partner's phone? Hmm, I NEVER would, but if I did, this would be why --

-If she was telling constant lies that were driving me insane.
-If she wouldn't answer my questions, or ignored me when I asked about the possibility of her cheating.
-If I saw pics of her flirting with other women in different parts of the country.

But, once again, I am brought back to this question: is it our business? A few days ago, I would have said NO. But, now it is a definitely Yes. This man is a public figure who everyone recognizes in the world. He has a brand and an image to maintain. I've payed to see him and bought numerous products featuring his face smack dab on the front of it.

Tiger, you owe us an explanation. Straight up. No more of the superficial statements on your website. Get out of your house, put a band aid and Neosporin on your cut up face, and get your black booty to a TV studio.

I'm waiting with the rest of da world.

Things I Lost in Da Fire.

2009-12-02T00:29:00.000-08:00

Well, we all learn lessons. Some the easy way and some the hard way.

I loaned an acquaintance my favorite book by Eckhart Tolle -- The Power of Now -- over three months ago, thinking I'd get it back within a reasonable amount of time. Honestly, I was glad to share it with her because we share some similar perspectives and I knew she'd appreciate his words. But, when someone else wanted to read my book, I asked for it back. No response. Then, I asked again and again. Then, after weeks of asking I realized --

Lauren, you can just buy another book and stop creating drama. She's not going to respond or mail it back to you and there are many places this energy can go toward that's being wasted on getting the book back.

Word. Sure, it means a lot to me for numerous reasons (the writing I scribbled, the worn pages, the smell), but it means more that my energy is focused on positive actions. And, pestering someone about an item I loaned ultimately doesn't matter in the scheme of thangz.

For example, maybe she's meant to keep the book. Perhaps one day years or months from now she'll find it under a cluttered sofa and read it during a troubled time in her life -- the catalyst to her awakening. Or, maybe she'll pass it on to another friend who so desperately needs the embrace of Eckhart's words and finds inspiration through them.

Who knows why certain things happen.

I mention this situation to you all to highlight the power of letting go and giving up the fight on battles that don't matter or do us any good. If you loan something to a friend, don't think you will or won't get it back. Just know that what you're doing is happening for a reason.

Give with love, knowing that the love may not be returned. And, be okay with that.

Truth is, I know nothing about her. We've never even had a deep conversation about who we really are or what we want in life. I don't even think she knows where I am from honestly. But, this is Los Angeles and this is the world...at times we just don't know a damn thang about each other.

Gotta go hit up Amazon.com. Besos.

Tiger to Da No Wood.

2009-11-30T19:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, if you haven't heard, Tiger Woods ran into a fire hydrant and a tree at around 2:15 am outside of his 3 million dollar mansion. Apparently, his wife, Elin Nordegren, heard the collision and ran out to save him. How did she do this?

By hitting the window of his Escalade with a golf club and then pulling him out to safety.

Look, I am never one to assume negative thangs about peeps -- wait, I'm lying. I totally assume the worst. But hey, even Mother Theresa would be like, "Aight Tiger, what really happened?"

Right???

I saw the pics of his smashed up vehicle on TMZ's website. How does someone cause that much damage, even if they are a bad driver, right outside of his or her home? I mean, damn, you can't make up the usual excuses like --

I wasn't used to my surroundings.

OR

I didn't know the speed limit.

OR

I got lost.

It just doesn't work when you crash your vehicle right outside of your freakin' crib. So, this is why I am left to suspect there was more to this story that the world doesn't know about. Like, maybe Tiger got into some trouble and his wife confronted him about it. Or, maybe Tiger got sick of her ass and needed to go get some air. Hell, she probably was attacking him with a golf club after finding out he was having an affair. But, let's be real --

It's none of our business, folks. Whatever happened should stay with Tiger. I would never explain to the world why I left my own house at 2 in the morning regardless of how famous I am -- my private life is MY private life. No one has any business knowing why I do the things I do, like taking a late night drive to get away from my annoying wife.

A Letter From A Reader - For Inspiration.

2009-11-17T21:18:00.000-08:00

For all of you who give on a daily basis whether it's your words, money, or a few meals to a homeless person, I say to you -- what you do matters.

I am sharing an E-mail I recently received because not only did it make my day, but it also reminded me of the impact each and every one of us can make on this universe.

You know how this goes --

So, I was on the AfterEllen website and I noticed a new video blog and naturally I clicked on it and there you were. I def noticed your hair first because I love your hair (as a person with natural hair myself) and so I said what the heck. And that was last night and I spent my morning reading your blog, completely moved by your writing and your thoughts and the people you encounter and the conversations you have. I couldn't stop reading, and now I have tears in my eyes..although i'm not totally sure why. I just feel different, I feel open, I feel somewhat new. I am a pretty open, honest person who feels and do not see the need to hide those feelings because I am a firm believer in allowing yourself to feel emotions as they come because they matter. So, just reading your thoughts and reading as you go through your experiences to some degree has me jealous. Besides my gf/partners/spouse/::insert appropriate word here:: and bestfriend I am lacking those conversations I feel are necessary in order to grow and experience life. I really have nothing to say, but I felt compelled to send you an email. I guess I simply want to say Thank You. There has been a shift or awarness within myself that was not present yesterday afternoon and I know I have you to thank for that.

Keep doing what you do, peeps.

It
matters.

OneMoreLesbian.com

2009-11-15T17:49:00.000-08:00

You can now check out my vlogs there. Word.

Health Care Plan.

2009-11-11T21:58:00.000-08:00

I don't really like to discuss politics, but when it comes to healthcare, I am very opinionated.

The House just passed the Affordable Health Care for America Act. Go here for more information, or to read it (almost 2,000 pages).

Now the bill has to reach the Senate, which can take a while. Go here to learn why.

This article will also help with terms and such that, like me, your brain may have forgotten = )

I'm not going to ask you to support or not support it. I am simply asking that you learn about what is at stake because this is a critical time in our society. Plus, this is a critical bill, especially for those of us who are young, thus experiencing the majority of its impact.

Besos.

Late Night Poem.

2009-11-11T21:53:00.000-08:00

I’ve never flown before

Except

on my feet

.
Yes

That’s what it feels like
When my

lips

kiss

You.

Ballz and Eye Crust.

2009-11-11T20:14:00.000-08:00

You know how this goes. I sigh --

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

I can feel the crust on my eyes. Blink, blink. That didn't work so well. As I rub the shiznit off my f-a-c-e, I see a Chef walk past with a Friend of his.

My eyes may not be workin' but my e-a-r-s are just fine.

Chef: "She is always with me. It's like she doesn't know what it means to be alone."
Friend: "I would say it's a Vietnamese thing but dude, my girlfriend is the same way. She always wants to spend time together. Even when I am taking a crap she wants to talk."
Chef: "What's also weird is her family never leaves the house when they visit. Someone is always around cooking or cleaning or on the phone, like her mom...or a cousin. I can barely breathe."
Friend: "Yeah, I know man."
Chef: "I love my wife, but she doesn't get personal space at all. I try and tell her I need alone time and she looks at me like I am crazy."
Silence . . .
Friend: "...well, are we crazy for not wanting to hang out with them all of the time?"
They stand there, seriously perplexed by the ridiculous question. And, if I wasn't so blind at the moment with sleep doo-doo, I would be able to see the concern in their eyes. Maybe for their manhood...or for the balls they used to have.

In Life...

2009-11-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

It's scary to be vulnerable and exposed, but sometimes you must

let

go

.
.
.

New Blog

2009-11-04T23:09:00.000-08:00

Hola, peeps.

I was recently asked to write a weekly blog for the group, Women on A Roll (WOAR), which I will start in a several weeks.

It's called, Let's Be Real --

"A weekly blog about the importance of “keeping it real,” whether it’s regarding love, life, or specific events going on around the globe. Lauren Hamilton -- breaks it down on a weekly basis and you won't want to miss her words."

As of now, the date is set for December 1st. So please, on that day, check it out here -- http://www.womenonaroll.com/.

Word.

Study A New Trade.

2009-11-02T13:56:00.001-08:00

First, I must say that life without my grandparents would suck. Hard.

INT. CAR - DAY

I sit under the hot sun with my cell phone in one hand and a Diet Dr. Pepper in the other. It's yummy, but ain't doing a thang to keep the sweat off my face. Or, maybe it's just my nerves.

Ring, ring.

Grandad: "Hello?"

More sweat.

Me: "Hey, grandad. How are you?"

Grandad: "Good, honey. Are you eating right?"

Uh, yeah, though I don't see as much salmon as I'd like.

Me: "Of course."

Grandad: "Good. Find a job yet?"

Pause. Come on Diet Dr. Pepper!

Me: "...no. Not yet."

I can hear his disappointment through the silence on the phone. There's nothing worse than feeling helpless and judged all at the same time.

Grandad: "Hmm...maybe you should study a new trade."

I laugh, thinking he's joking. But, the lack of response on the other end makes me realize he's serious. Gulp.

Me: "Oh..."

Grandad: "We may have to put you back in school, eh?"

Spoke too soon. There's nothing worse than feeling helpless, judged, and misunderstood all at the same time...by one of the men you love most in the world.

I know my family's words are not from a bad place. At all. And, I know that it comes down to fear. Will she have a roof over her head? Will she have enough money to buy a Diet Dr. Pepper a month from now...or health insurance. I totally understand that my family loves me and wants only the best. However,

...it still breaks my heart each time I'm asked, "got a job yet?" Or, when my father says, "whenever you get that job, I'll get you that set of golf clubs you've been wanting." Do you not see that I'm trying? Lol and sigh and lol and sigh.

I bring into focus this conversation because I know many of you are going through the same thing, even if it's unrelated to money. It could be regarding coming out to your family or consistently avoiding to tell your friend to stop doing drugs because you're scared he or she will stop talking to you.

Point being --we all have a little fear deep down. So, I say to you and to me -- don't give up. Follow your heart. I know it's hard; even as I type the words I feel my hands getting warm, but this is what life is all about. The lol-ing and the sigh-ing and the lol-ing again and again and again.

Gulp, gulp.

Marriage and Granola.

2009-10-31T23:41:00.000-07:00

This involves granola, sticky fingers, and love --

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

I smash a sharp knife into a thick block full of raisins. It slowly comes apart, but the job ain't going by that fast despite my amazing strength. . .

A Chef flashes by, sizes up the situation in front of me.

Chef: "Hey, help Lauren with the raisins. We gotta get 200 of these out before lunch."
I look over my shoulder to see who he's talking to: a thick Woman in her 30s. Is she really going to help to speed the process along? Maybe I should be positive. As she walks over to me, I hear --
Woman: "Hey. Is it Lorraine?"
Me: "Lauren."
She does a laugh smile. Ya know, not really a laugh but not really a smile.
Woman: "I'm so bad with names. Gosh."
Me: "It's all good."
I continue hacking at the raisins as she breaks the small chunks with her hands. And, as the minutes roll by, I find myself wondering what her story is and where she got that big ass rock on her finger.
Me: "How long ya been married?"
She stops what she's doing and looks up to think. I want to scream out, "keep working, goddamnit!!" but decide not to...probably not the best thing to say.
Woman: "Umm...a year I think."
Hmm, I can't tell if she means it in a it's-been-a-year-kill-me kind of way or, I'm-so-in-love-and-thankful kind of way.
Me: "Cool. Why are you here volunteering?"
Woman: "'Cause I'm bored and unemployed."
Join da club.
Me: "Ah and your husband wants you out of the house."
Woman: "Yeah, but not because he's sick of me. Just knows being without a job for so long isn't doing anything positive for my mental health."
Is she crazy or something? Look, I'm down for packing granola -- not crazies.
Me: "How is marriage? Is it fun?"
She stops to look up. Again.
Woman: "This is going to sound weird, but it's a great feeling knowing that he has to fill out a lot of paperwork in order to break up with me."
Not the most romantic thing I've heard.
Me: "Okay, so it sucks?"
Woman: "No, no, it's great. I love being married. I mean, I always thought it would just be the same as before. You know, when we were in a relationship, but it's different. There's a different quality and pressure...but, not a bad pressure. I always have someone by my side and that's nice to know."
I stop without realizing it and smile at her. Yeah, it would be great knowing that no matter what happens, when I go home, there will always be that special person there by my side (unless she decides to take out the paperwork).
Me: "Yeah, that does sound nice."
Real damn nice.

It's hard to remember that life doesn't go on forever and ever.

Ya know, that those hot red pumps I bought for a Christmas party last year won't matter once I'm in the grave.

So...what will?

Perhaps the intangibles...the untouchable thangz that we can't describe with words. Just with feelings. Like --

Love

.
.
.

I can deal with that.

Volunteer My Heart Away.

2009-10-23T23:07:00.000-07:00

You know how this goes. I sigh...

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

I stand in front of two steel counters with plastic gloves over my hands and a cheap, disposable white hairnet on my hair. Is this really necessary? Clock reads -- 8:13am. OMG. I shake my head, wishing it was lunch time already.

A guy approaches me. Looks like a Chef. Just has that swagger.

Chef: "Okay hey wasup. You a volunteer?"
Me: "Uh, yes. I am."
Unfortunately. Hey now, don't get me wrong, I love to volunteer. Just not in the eaaarly mornin'.
Chef: "Super. I need you to tear up these large pieces of chicken into little pieces."
I look over his shoulder and see the endless piles of long, narrow sheets of fatty chicken. Um, I don't have to do this...do I?
Me: "I got it."
Uh, I totally don't.
Chef: "Oh, and it would be awesome if you did this in like an hour...tops."
How the heck am I going to get through all of this in that amount of time?
Me: "No problem!"
Look. I know how to bullshit when I need to. Let's just say that Hollywood is rubbin' off on a sistah.
As I grab a tray and get to work on my assigned task, like Chris Brown doing community service, I kinda give it my all. Okay, not really. And, almost as if G-O-D answered my prayers, I hear my savior (a black Woman in her 50s) approach me.
Woman: "What needs to be done here?"
Me: "Um, the Chef just told me to break up these trays of chicken. I have about 10 more to do, which I'm sure will take at least an hour."
Before I finish my sentence she has already gone to town on a tray of chicken and broken up half of it with her speedy hands.
Me: "...or not."
Woman: "We gotta speed this up now. These sick people have to get their food."
And before I know it, the Woman is on her 4th tray while I am just finishing my first. She ain't playin' around. I wonder what her story is?
Me: "So, how long have you been volunteering here?"
Woman: "Let's see now...around two weeks. I gotta do it for school...and myself. Getting my masters in Nutrition."
Me: "Awesome. Where ya from?"
Woman: "Compton, honey. Yourself?"
Me: "I'm from the valley."
She shoots me a proud smile as she says --
Woman: "Well, that's all right. See, now myself, I wasn't supposed to make it this far, ya know. A girl from South Central who grew up on food stamps. No way was I supposed to make it this far. But, my mama taught me right."
Me: "That's cool that you're here and giving your time."
Woman: "Ahh yes, you must help others. My mama, before she died, always told me to help those who can't help themselves. And, it gives me something to do. All of my family is gone now. My two brothers died this year due to smoking."
Me: "Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that."
Woman: "It's okay. The great Lord has blessed me and continues to everyday. I am glad to be here. A gurl from the South side of Compton. Who would have imagined I would get this far?"
As she continues making me and the rest of the volunteers look bad with her quick and impressive hands, I can't help but feel inspired. And, I can't help but wonder...how far am I supposed to go?

Hmmm...

Life's unpredictable. We don't know where we'll be today, tomorrow, or even in the Present moment. I think it comes down to living in the moment and staying positive. Easier said than done, I know. But, if we're too busy thinking about things then it becomes close to impossible to see all of the wonderful things happening right in front of our face. Word.

Glee!

2009-10-22T07:33:00.000-07:00

If you're not watching, you should be.

Word.

Chronicles Of A 20-something, California.

2009-10-14T23:20:00.000-07:00

We all have dreams. Many of 'em reside in a sign:

H O L L Y W O O D

It's not all that it seems to be.

But, at the same time,

It's everything.

Just don't forget there's more to you and to life than the question --

So...what do you do?

Life.

2009-10-11T22:20:00.000-07:00

Let's not live in fear. For the things we fear can keep us from the things we could be

loving.

3 Minute Conversations - Website Up!

2009-10-04T01:16:00.000-07:00

Hello peeps.

First off, you rock. You're so patient and dope. I can't stand it = )

The website for "3 Minute Conversations" is finally up and posted.

Check it --

http://www.3minuteconversations.com/

Things will be added and updated on a consistent basis. And please, if you can, donate. We need your support!

Besos.

One Day You're In...

2009-09-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes you're in, and sometimes you're out."

(photo found here)

We all know these famous words from the gorgeous and smart woman, Heidi Klum.

At first I used to hate them. So cold...so false. Aren't you always in if you're in?

Then I got to thinking and thought: maybe she's right...maybe it's kind of like love.

One day you're feeling great and everything is perfect. You're getting along and want nothing more than to be with that person every second. But, then you have those times where you want space and don't want to be around your lover.

Kind of like after you get into a HUGE fight with someone you love. Like, so bad you may be thinking, "can we get past this?" Or, "will things ever be the same?" At these times, one can feel nothing but Out. Very, very out.

But,

A few hours or days later, you begin to calm down and think. Your heart starts to soften and you miss that person, or that massive problem seems much smaller. All you want to do is talk and move on to how things were...if the love is truly there. Otherwise, you'll just walk away and give up.

Strength.

Let's say you got a lot of that dope shiznit and refuse to throw in da towel. Perhaps you'll talk to that person and realize that your relationship and love is even stronger than you ever imagined. And, within moments, the feelings of never wanting to have that person out of your life comes back like dust on a kitchen table.

Maybe...

Being Out makes us realize how In we always were.

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Late Night Poem.

2009-09-23T01:35:00.000-07:00

I enjoy the way your heart beats underneath my dirty fingernails.
Like the wax in my eardrums
I get stuck
In you
On you
With you.
Like heavy hands on a soft piano,
Gently touching you so you don’t awake…
Or break.

Sometimes,

I want to split you open and
Cut your arteries into pieces
Like a bloody piece of steak,
Dripping down my arms
...Seeping into my skin.

Yeah.

It wouldn’t be so bad, ya know.
Tasting you
Eating you…
Without the sauce or
The hurt.

Yeah.

It wouldn’t be so bad to bleed
On something or someone else who
Doesn’t mind holding you without

Gloves.

Lauren Hamilton (c) 2009

Life Changes.

2009-09-22T13:20:00.000-07:00

Ya never know where life may take you.

Sure, it can be a stressful ride, but when you make it at least you can say --

"I made it."

3 Minute Conversations - Yvonne Mock Robertson - #3

2009-09-15T23:54:00.000-07:00

This is Yvonne.

She is my friend and club promoter. Smart, sexy, cool. She'll also be in my next vlog on Afterellen. Airing Thursdays. You can find out more information on her and what she does via facebook or by attending one of her amazing events (Madame Wu's).

Besos.

Hearts and Hurt and Hope.

2009-09-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

I admire romantics. There aren't many of us left. . . or so I think.

You know how this goes. I sigh --

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Wine is involved. As usual. I sit in my PJs next to a Friend as she sips on a diet soda, her wrinkled hands clinging to it like it's her last. Maybe it is.

We're talking about love. As usual.

Me: "I'm a romantic, but a reluctant one who scares too easy."
She looks up and shoots me a perplexed look.
Friend: "What the hell did you just say?"
I shake my head, half amused and half annoyed. By what, I don't really know.
Friend: "Hmm, okay, let me try to understand since, after all, I am old enough to be your grandmother."
I roll my eyes. This again?
Me: "You're not even 60. Chill."
Friend: "60 in the South is great grandmother status! Anyway, so you mean, like...you can't stand the heat in the kitchen you built?"
Me: "I meant that I'm smooth and really coolio until feelings start to get involved. Then, I become this sensitive, not-so-suave person. I mean, I am still me, but my fears and insecurities grab at my insides."
Friend: "As much as I want to say it gets better with age, it doesn't. I still trip out about my fat ass stomach."
There go my eyes even more.
Me: "Your stomach isn't fat."
Friend: "Yeah it is. Don't lie to me damnit."
We smile at each other. I still disagree, but can't help but laugh. Who isn't insecure about something?
Me: "When I date someone I like, I realize how much work I still have to do. Underneath it all, I'm such a mess. Or, I feel like one at times."
Friend: "Getting older doesn't make that go away either."
Me: "Thanks. But maybe it doesn't have a lot to do with age. Maybe it's all about the love we get as children."
Friend: "Oh God, are we having a childhood discussion? Because I don't feel like crying right now."
I sip on my wine, not wanting to get into mommy and daddy issues either.
Me: "Naw, we aren't. I'm just sayin' that confidence and self-love should be emphasized when we're kids in order to have healthier relationships...maybe."
Friend: "And if it's not then you think no one can be that way?"
Me: "I didn't say all that. I just think that it's harder when we have to learn how to love ourselves as opposed to it being ingrained when we're young."
Friend: "I guess that makes a little sense. My old man didn't hold me at all...was kind of an asshole. Now I practically seek out the love and attention I never got from men."
Silence. I think I hear her heart still breaking.
Me: "I feel you. We all got our thangz is my point. Dating is like peeling onions. You see so may different layers. When I start to shed, I lose the exterior that I feel is safe. But, once they are gone, one by one, I start to get nervous. It's like I get that way to see if the person will like me as I reveal more...even though I know how cool I am."
Friend: "Isn't that crazy how we can be so confident one second and then the opposite the next?"
Me: "Completely. For me, I think it's because there's a lot at risk. My heart being one thing. And, I haven't been in the most loving relationships."
Friend: "Well, that's another can of worms. The baggage and hurt we carry is in all of us. I still think my man is cheating on me whenever he comes home late. That's what being with a liar and man whore for 5 years will do for ya."
Damn.
Me: "Maybe we give up too fast."
Friend: "True. As much as I get scared, too, I know that the guy who is meant for me will like me no matter what. So, when I get nervous or vulnerable, that's how I keep it together."
Me: "Yeah, I guess that's true. All you can be is yourself."
Friend: "Exactly."
We hold up our glasses in the air and clink them together. I smile as the wine trickles down my throat. Her words stay in my head. Yes, it's all about being YOU.

Who knows what makes us the way we are...truly.

I just know that we all have a battle going on inside of us. Whether it be with our heart or mind or Soul. And, this isn't a bad thing. Never is it a bad thing.

But,

It doesn't always feel good. And, I can't help but wonder how it impacts us. For some, the past can keep us in a deep depression that we never come out of. For others, it can make us look within and grow in ways we never thought imaginable.

Now me...I'm not perfect. At all. I get nervous and stutter when I like someone. I don't even know where that sweet talkin' woman goes at times, but this is who I am. And, this is what makes me awesome as well.

So, maybe my Friend is right. We just gotta be ourselves, even if that means looking like our extremely imperfect selves.

MTV Video Music Awards.

2009-09-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

Kanye West = Not Nice.

Beyonce = Hot and Classy

Not So Serene.

2009-09-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

Talk about Lions and Tigers and Bears.

Serena Williams went c-r-a-z-y today at the U.S. Open.

Seriously.
(photo found here)

Apparently, after Serena got a foot fault penalty she thought was incorrect, all Hell broke loose. She started to yell at the official, screaming things such as, "I'm going to shove this ball down your fuc-ing throat."

Not good.

Look, I totally understand that we all have bad days. Clearly, Serena had a terrible one. However, that gives her no right to yell, berate, threaten, or belittle anyone. I am a fan of hers, but not a fan of her actions.

Get it together, Serena. Get it together.

Pooch Time.

2009-09-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

Dogs = da shiznit.

(Photo found here)

A stray dog recently saved the life of his owners' 2-year-old son in the Yukon wilderness.

Oh, Snap.

Rescue parties found them 24 hours after the child vanished. Apparently this amazing pooch kept the little boy warm by cuddling with him and protecting him from the bear-infested woods. Folks say he would not have lived without the furry fella's help.

...okay, I don't normally get choked up from a story like this, but -- who am I kidding, yeah I do. This is such a sweet story and it definitely makes my heart smile. The family took a chance on this stray dog when they found him in bad shape, and nursed him back to health with their love and kindness. And what did he go and do in return?

Save a life.

Now this dog has me asking what the hell I've done with my life. Lol. Damn, maybe I need to go live in the wilderness for a few months and save a few lives. Or, like, devote the rest of my life to community service. Okay, I'm going a little overboard, but you know what I mean.

This is a moment where you pause within a moment and ask, in that moment, what the hell am I doing with my moments?

Perhaps it all comes down to the individual. Ya know, our goals and wants and needs. For some, that's simply getting past each day without falling into a deep depression. For others, that means trying to make thousands of dollars every day. Or, simply cooking dinner for your partner each night. Do what makes you happy is what I say because, in the end, that's all that matters.

Woof woof.

3 Minute Conversations - Website

2009-09-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

Working on getting a website up later this month.

Besos.

Dinner With Palin?

2009-09-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

Yo, get your wallets out.

A dinner with Palin is being auctioned off on Ebay starting at $7,500.

(photo found here)

How much would I pay?
.
.
.
As much as I want to say $0, I think I'd definitely write a check for 12 bucks if I had the chance.

What can I say, I like a woman in glasses.

We're All Cars.

2009-09-03T18:54:00.000-07:00

I think love is hard. Truly. But, being held should be easy.

You know how this goes. I sigh --

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
It's one of those nights where the moon overtakes the sky. I sit with a glass of wine in my hand plus some cheese squares. A Friend sits next to me with a glass of Vodka. Straight up.

Me: "...sometimes I don't know what I want."
He laughs, more to himself than at me. What's really in his glass?
Friend: "Join the club, babe. I wanted a peanut butter sandwich for lunch but ended up having a meatball sandwich instead."
Me: "Yeah, yeah, I get it. But, I'm talking about love and stuff like that. Romantically...you know, meeting women and dating can be tough."
Friend: "It shouldn't be."
Me: "True...I guess I'm referring to getting over your past experiences and moving on with someone new...without taking things out on them."
Friend: "That's easy. Just move on."
Me: "Okay, is today disagree-with-Lauren Day?"
He laughs, gives me a sweet smile.
Friend: "Look, I know what you mean. After Lisa I couldn't trust a woman for years. And damn, my mom issues didn't help."
He sighs. I wait, knowing he's going to add something else.
Friend: "Being with her took so much out of me. I don't even know if I can give that way again."
Me: "I feel ya, man. But hey, everyone has thangz...issues."
We both take a sip of our drink and let the night soak us up. The silence is nice. For this moment.
Me: "What if we didn't have any baggage or unresolved bullcrap that makes us screw up relationships?"
Friend: "Well, then we'd be different people. And come on, L, you know what they say -- "Our past makes us stronger."
We laugh. A little.
Me: "Right. I love to date, don't get me wrong. But, there's always that point where you gotta ask yourself, "can I let my guard down?"
Friend: "You mean be vulnerable? Yeah, women always want you to open up. It has to happen naturally for me. Wait, maybe I don't get it. Example?"
His eyes look a little cloudy. Too much Vodka.
Me: "Let's say you have a trust issue because your ex girlfriend cheated on you. Now, you feel like every woman will eventually do that. You're suspicious of the things she says from the jump."
Friend: "That's tough. I guess I would eventually go crazy and be sent to jail."
Me: "Very funny. I think I would be open and honest. Just tell her about my past and my previous experiences with it. And, hopefully, she'll be sensitive and patience with me if I am always communicative in a healthy way."
Friend: "Easier said than done. I wouldn't deal with a girl who has trust problems like that. I already have a boss on my ass everyday."
Me: "Good point. But, what if you're really, really feelin' her?"
Friend: "Then I'd hit it for a minute and quit it."
Me: "Damn."
Friend: "I'm just keeping it real."
I sit there forgetting my wine and responsibilities for a moment. I don't know if it was me or my Friend's blunt words, but I suddenly feel like none of this really matters in the long run. All we have is the Now. And right Now, life's lookin' pretty damn good under the moon.

No doubt, we all got thangz to work on. Some of us have a bad temper and others have a problem being too passive. We're all very different. But, it's not enough to simply say that you've been through a lot and that's the reason why you're the way that you are. You can turn things around if you want to, which is why I say don't pass someone up who is amazing because of their imperfections.

Unless

He or she is crazy or a detriment to your health.

But,

If they are not, then give it a go

Unless

He or she ain't willing to work on their shiznit.

'Cause if that's the case, you're in for a chaotic and bumpy ride. No lie.

Maybe, in a way,

we're all cars.

Loose screws.

Squeaky breaks.

Broken windows.

Mucho miles and tons of scrapes.

Some of us run better than others,

Or look a little flashier.

but, in the end...we all got an

engine.

Honk, honk.

3 Minute Conversations - Afterellen.com

2009-09-02T14:15:00.000-07:00

Hey there peeps,
Check out the first vlog of "3 Minute Conversations" on afterellen.com today. It'll be airing every Wednesday with different women every week, and some returning ladies in upcoming vlogs.

In the very near future, I will be giving updates on shooting, the women who will be featured, and show all of the pretty faces behind the show.

Thank you for tuning in and watching. This is just the beginning.

Oh, and the name's Lauren. It's nice to meet you = )

Check it

The Word.

2009-08-31T23:18:00.001-07:00

...everything happens for a reason.

"3 Minute Conversations"

2009-08-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

Shooting went very well over the weekend. The first four episodes of "3 Minute conversations" are completed. We had a great time filming and nothing, yes, nothing, went wrong.

I'll be sending in the first vlog within a week and hope to have it up on Afterellen soon for everyone to see.

It looks great ya'll. Thanks to everyone for all of the support.

Besos.