Thursday, April 22, 2010

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Marriage?!

I sit on the terrace a prestigious hotel with my Parents. The sun is at my back, and so is a monstrously large woman as she swims in a pool. I'm eatin' a bowl of fruit in between smiles and mellow sips of mimosas. We are celebrating their 11th year marriage anniversary, which continues to go strong.

Sundays are for relaxin' and talking, sometimes about love.

Parent 1: "Whew, I feel so much lighter now that I saw that man about a horse."
Parent 2: "I hope you sprayed."
Parent 1: "I did. Who knows if it'll help, but I feel ten pounds lighter!"
Ew. Is this what marriage is all about? I can't envision talking about my poo-poo so openly with my wife.
Parent 1: "What's this?"
He notices a card in front of him, opens it.
Parent 2: "Just a little something, something."
He reads the words. You can tell, though he's not emotional, that he's touched. Hard.
Parent 1: "Wow, that's special. What you said is special."
Parent 2: "I love you and here's to many more."
Parent 1: "That's right!"
I look at them and feel so glad that I am single. 11 years? And, that's not including the years they were together before that. Is it possible?
Me: "That's sweet, ya'll."
Parent 1: "Yep, you'll find this one day."
Me: "Um, I don't seems so difficult. Relationships are hard, ya know."
Parent 1: "No, they aren't. Not when you find the right one. It's easy."
Parent 2 shuffles in her seat.
Parent 2: "I wouldn't say it's easy, but it's definitely smoother when you're with someone you love and who loves you back unconditionally."
Parent 1: "I think it's easy. Relationships should be."
Me: "I guess. It's just the whole marriage thing. I don't see that happening. At all."
Parent 1: "You're young. As you age and mature, you'll get a better sense of what you want and who you are...and you'll also find someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with."
He looks at his wife with love and I honestly feel like yawning, but not out of boredom. Out of pure lack of understanding of the connection that these two people have.

Being 20-something and just beginning the process of adulthood is a daunting task in itself. It's hard to conceive the future in three months let alone years down the line. With this unpredictability comes much freedom, experimentation, and frustration.

There are things yet to be understood, like marriage. A truly healthy, long lasting one at that. To be real, it's the farthest things from my mind. But, I can't help but feel like the older, wiser wisdom I received is in fact true -- marriage will come when you find the right person.


My question is, what prepares you for staying strong during the tough times? Who and what gives you faith after the fifth, tenth, and 20th year? Are things always fresh and fun and new?

Perhaps the answer will only come as the days pass and our hair begins to change color. Maybe it'll be like that one missing puzzle piece you find underneath a shoe in the closet and just click when that time comes because you will have been through so much already. And you will have learned what love is really all about.

No comments: