Friday, July 31, 2009

Life's Too Short.

Maybe you're sitting down right now

Wondering

if you should reach for your dreams. Ya know, do that thang you've been wanting to do

For years or hours or days or minutes or years or lifetimes.

Like --

skydiving or taking on that 6 mile hike...starting that book you've always wanted to write.

Maybe there's even someone you haven't spoken to in years...who you still think about.

To you I say -- Let go.

Take on that mountain. Fall into and out of that sky again and again and again.

Go grab that pen and pick up the phone. Life's too damn short to only wish and dream.

You can do anything.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Some Lovin'.

It's true. I like to dream, but who doesn't?

--

You know how this goes. I sigh. . .


INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
I sit next to a Friend of mine as we sip on drinks. Me, wine. Her, vodka. Straight up.

Friend: "Gurl, you need you some lovin'."
I turn to her with a curious expression on my face. Actually, more like confused.
Me: "You mean like, love lovin' or like love no-love lovin' ?
Friend: "Gurl, skip the romantic shit. I'm talking about snuggling, one nights stands. Just do it. Get you someone who will make you feeeeel good for a night or two like I do. It's nice!"
I've been there, done that. Not for me, or my heart.
Me: "I hear you, but that's not what I'm looking for right now."
Seriously.
Friend: "What are you looking for?"
Me: "I'm looking to date a woman in the hopes of one day having a healthy, romantic relationship."
Friend: "Wow, what textbook did you get that from?"
Me: "It's real."
Friend: "I feel you. I'm the same way. I like relationships, but in the meantime it's okay to find someone to have fun with. Or, just to snuggle with every now 'n then. When was the last time you were in a relationship?"
Wow, let me think...
Me: "Almost a year ago."
Friend: "Damn. What about the last time you had sex?"
I remain silent.
Friend: "Damn."
She takes a long sip of her drink. Yeah, that's how I feel, too.
Friend: "That ain't right, gurl. You definitely need to find you a nice gurl to have fun with. Not wifey."
Me: "Look, us women don't work like that. We always want more. I can't just hang out with someone as if we're lovers and not want to be in a relationship with her. And, I can't do the just fuc*king thang either."
Friend: "You don't have to have sex."
I look down at my wine, give it a look that says: you agree with me, right?
Me: "To me, that feels like a relationship. Snuggling, holding each other, etc. That's very intimate. Very. I don't let just anyone hold me."
Silence.
Friend: "...who am I kidding. Neither can I. But, sometimes, it's just nice to feel good. You know how you're working on living in the moment and not judging anything?"
Me: "Yes."
Friend: "Maybe this is a good way to practice it. Go out with some of these women and see what your gut is saying at that moment. Just go with that."
I take in her words, appreciating who she is and what she brings to my life. Yeah, I still don't agree, but I understand what she's saying.
Friend: "Want another glass of wine?"
I smile, not really wanting a second glass, but knowing she wants to do something kind in this moment.
Me: "...sure."

To have sex or not to have sex, is that the question? Or, to cuddle and not to cuddle.

Whateva, you know what I mean. To be real, I think it comes down to the person. Sure, it gets lonely being single at times, but I'm not going to settle. And yes, I get it. "Friends with benefits" ain't settling, but for me...it feels that way.

I want the real thang - a relationship. The fact that I'm alone now gives me more time to work on myself so that I'm more prepared for that amazing woman who comes along. Ya know, the one who is everything I'm looking for 'n then some.

Yes, I'm working on not judging others so much. And, I'm also learning to accept people for who they are.

Myself included.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Break Up.

It's official. Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are finished.

(photo found here)

Look. Kim. Let's talk.

I know you have a thang for chocolate.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Kid Left in Cab.

I like cabs. They've always been a great experience, especially when I traveled on my way back home from a long night of salsa dancing.

There's nothing like taking a ride in one on the way to the airport. Or, after you've broken up with someone. Or, when you're nostalgic.

The thinking time by yourself...just you and the road and the dirty seats as a complete stranger drives you. There's something romantic about it all.

(photo found here)

I've had many dreams, thoughts, and smiles in a taxi. I've also had a heavy heart in a few. Sure, most of the time I didn't say anything to the driver, but there's no need. You both understand what it is that you're a part of...a few quiet moments with maybe the soft sound of the radio.

It's an art form in a way. That's why I knew when I heard that cab driver, Joseph Cohen, drove off with a 5-year-old in the backseat, there was a misunderstanding.

Cabbies only drive off with the money in their pocket and worries in their heart.

Yes, he picked up a family at Logan International Airport, drove them to their home, helped them unload their luggage, and then proceeded to drive off with the sleeping girl.

He didn't know, I'm sure, because like me, she was quietly enjoying the ride amidst her slumber. Moments later, when he arrived at the airport, the police had already been notified and told him what happened. So, Joseph drove back and dropped her off of course, and the family tipped him $50.

I didn't know kids were worth that much these days.

The next afternoon, Joseph learned that he would be suspended for 3 days because he didn't check the van after the family left. Luckily, though, the police later told him he was only going to get a warning.

I guess cabbies are now responsible for the children of other adults? Yes, even the ones who somehow leave their kid in the backseat of a stranger's vehicle. Thank goodness they left her in good hands.

Gotta go catch a cab.

Unspoken Attraction.

Situation --

You're in a relationship. You meet someone who wants to be friends. A great person who you are very physically attracted to.

And, your loving partner doesn't care that you two are friends...for the moment.

You know how this goes --

I sit with my Friend at the beach. We're reading...or pretending to read in between looking at the sun and nice bodies.
Friend: "You think I should dump her?"
Me: "Hey, she's your girlfriend, not mine. Whatever makes you happy."
Friend: "Come on, I need your help. You're a woman 'n shit like that. I don't want it to be an issue, but I just get the feeling that something isn't right."
Me: "Well, do you think she's cheating on you?"
Friend: "No, she'd never do that...I don't think. But, I know she wants to fuck him. He wouldn't mind either."
Me: "So then, it bothers you?"
Friend: "Yes, but it shouldn't...right? It's all your fault. Having me listen to my heart and shit.
He smiles at me. I laugh.
Me: "You know how I feel. If your gut is telling you it doesn't feel right, then be honest."
Friend: "And say what? I don't want you to be friends with him anymore? What right do I have to say that to another person?"
Me: "If that's what you need, then you have every right. When you're in a relationship, you have to express your feelings and needs otherwise resentment, anger, and hostility will occur. Be honest with her."
We sit there in silence. My Friend looks out at the ocean in deep thought. . . then --
Friend: "What if she says no...that she won't stop being his friend?"
Me: "Your answer will come when or if that moment comes. Why focus on something that is Not?"
Friend: "Yeah...I guess."
Me: "It will work out how it's meant to, honey."
He takes it in, sitting there until his body suddenly perks up.
Friend: "Fuck, why would she put me in this situation? She has to know that it's obvious they want to have sex with each other. And still being his friend...I hate it."
Me: "All you can do is tell her what you need, then proceed from there."
A hot woman passes and he doesn't even notice. I look over at him and see something for the first time in his eyes -- hurt. For a brief second, I wish I had a pill to make it all go away.

There are times when you need to be supportive and just listen to your friends, because that's what they need. Then, there are other times where you have to break it down.

Imma break it down --

If you're with someone and they're hanging out with a person they are attracted to, it probably ain't a good idea to be with 'em.

Seriously, there's no need. And, frankly, if my girlfriend wanted to do that, I'd be questioning her integrity and respect for me as a person. It's along the same lines of hanging out with an ex girlfriend you'd love to have just one more night with. Hey, if you're single, that's all good 'n the hood. But, it ain't appropriate behavior when you're in a relationship.

Temptations can be good for ya and they can be bad for ya. This ain't one of the good ones, ya'll.

My friend is dope, but he has to experience what he's meant to in life just like the rest of us. His girlfriend may agree to stop hanging out with that guy and they may get married/live happily ever after. She may also say, "Hell no" to breaking off the friendship, which forces him to make a tough decision: do I stay with a woman who won't even respond to my needs in the way I deserve, or do I end the relationship in the hopes of finding a woman who will?

To me, the answer is obvious. And, I don't care how good she looks or what she can do with her tongue. If she ain't willing to end the inappropriate friendship, then I have to do what's best for me: end our relationship. 'Cause I know that if I love my partner, I'll easily give up a disrespectful friendship for the sake of our relationship.

And remember, there are mucho fish in the sea. Like, ova 6 billion.

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Golf and Family.

EXT. GOLF COURSE - DAY
Sunshine for miles...and grass. I cruise in a golf cart with my Dad and Brother in silence. At this moment, we're looking for my ball that has chosen to bounce into a rough patch of grass.

I see it, jump out. Grab a club.

Me: "I don't think I can hit with this 3 wood."
Dad: "You got it. Just keep your head down. Don't move your body."
Brother: "Yeah, you got it, sis."
I haven't played in months, but their words make me believe I can do it.
Me: "Okay, here goes nothing."
I set my feet into the grass. Hard. I straighten my arms like Tiger and hit the ball with all of my strength, causing the ball to sail into the sky. Wow, I did it.
Dad: "That's what I'm talkin' about!"
Brother: "Good going, sis."
I turn to them, wishing I could frame this moment and look at it whenever I want. How I wish I could have caught the ball as it flew off and kept it in my pocket. These moments mean more to be than anything in the world. As I walk toward them :
Me: "I'm getting better."
Dad: "You're a natural."
Brother: "Word, LoLo."
I get back into the cart with them and we drive in silence. Sometimes nothing has to be said at all for the love to be heard loud 'n clear.

I can't say how important being surrounded by love is, particularly during these times when the economy is tough and many bad things are happening all over the world.

Keep your family close to you.

And I'm not just talkin' blood related. Family can be your friends, dog, lover, or next door neighbor. Point is, we all need and deserve to be surrounded by people who love us unconditionally.

Gotta go hit some balls.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Chronicles Of A 20-Something - Late Night Poem.

I
dream
of
you
sometimes.

Wondering
what it would be like if you
scraped out my heart

Dissected
it
into
pieces

Letting the blood
fall
and
fall
and
fall

Into your skin ...

r u n n i n g
down
your
legs

Like a tear kissing the ground.
Yes.
Like a falling star chasing the moon.
Yes.
Like melting chocolate on a strawberry.
Yes.

How

I'd love to see
You try to clean your nails

When

My heartbeat is stuck in your eyes.

Copyright (C) Lauren Hamilton 2009

Dating - Cut Off Da Fat!

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
I sit with my Friend over a glass of wine.

You know how this goes --

Friend: "Why don't you talk to her anymore?"
Me: "Because she's not a nice person. And, when someone isn't nice, there's no need for me to know him or her."
Friend: "But, she needs people like you and me. She's hurting."
Me: "I hear you, but mama, I don't even know her. She's someone I see around at a club who showed me some major red flags. You don't have to agree."
Friend: "I just think you're too harsh sometimes."
Me: "I'm not willing to join her Chain of Pain. Doesn't mean she's not cool, but I can't waste my time on that when there's so much else I need to focus on."
Friend: "I guess I don't get it...or, I do but I just think it's not fair."
Me: "I'm all for being there for someone during hard times. If my family or good friend needs me, I'll be by their side. No matter what. But, for someone who I don't know at all. What's the point? I'd be an idiot to try to have a friendship with a person I feel is disrespectful and mean."
I take a sip of my wine, finding my words harsh but very necessary.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a patient person. I can deal with a lot of shiznit, but there are a few things I will not put up with: disrespect, rudeness, racism/prejudice, and Egotistical actions.

But, what I ask myself is -- why? And, the more I think about it, the more I sigh.

Self-protection. Yes, I'm as susceptible to hurt just as much as the next guy despite the hard exterior. In my opinion, it's kind of like someone who is hanging from a cliff about to fall and, to save their life, reaches out to you. In that split second, you have to decide what to do --

Reach out and kill both of you or don't and thus save yourself.

Yes, this is an exaggerated example, but I still believe it applies. To be real with ya, sometimes it comes down to choosing between peace or chaos. And, for me, I'm striving to live a life surrounded by positive, peaceful individuals, which is hard to do as a young person.

However,

I must try my best. And yes, this may include choosing to not befriend everyone I meet. This where I think it's always important to remember that you come first. Not your neighbor, not your ex-girlfriend, not your talkative co-worker.

You, and only you.

Bird Fightin'.

I love canaries. They're cute and sweet birds. When I worked at a pet store, these songbirds were always the ones I stopped to smile at before I walked out the door.

If I could have, I would have boxed 'em all up and taken 'em home as my next domestic pets.

But, that was all before I knew their huge ass secret --

They make great cage fighters.


(photo found here)


That's right, you heard me. These PTYs will poke your eyes out. And, apparently some peeps in Connecticut caught on to their semi aggressive nature, scheming to have them cage fight each other.


Is bird fighting that much of a money maker? And, out of all the birds why use canaries as oppossed to a vulture or hawk? I'm just sayin' if you're going to go into that business, at least do it crazy to the max. I wonder what the conversation was like when they came up with this idea:

Crazy Person 1: "Dude, I can't believe we're broke...maybe I should get a job."
Crazy Person 2: "Screw that. Hey, what's your bird doing?"
Crazy Person 1: "Oh...um...eating."
Crazy Person 2: "Shit! I got an idea. Let's fuckin' put your bird in a cage with another bird and like...make 'em fight. We could charge people to watch 'n shit."
Crazy Person 1: "...that's brilliant, dude. You think Petsmart is open right now?"
Crazy Person 2: "I don't know, I'll call my mom. She works there."

Okay, it probably didn't go down exactly like this, but either way the verdict is the same -- not good. Who the heck would participate in such a terrible activity? Well, I guess that's easy to answer: someone who is really mean and clearly hurtin' on the inside. Good news:

Luckily, before any of these songbirds could start plucking at each other, the police in Connecticut arrested 19 people involved and seized over 100 canaries. Hmm, that's awesome, but I can't help but think to myself --

Michael Vick may have some competition. . .

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

Dope Person Alert!

This is Mel Robertson - writer, producer, director, editor, and so much more.

(photo found here)
She's not only talented, which you can see from her show -- FEED. But, she's mucho other thangz:
Nice, passionate, caring, smart, cool, a good listener, creative, hot, smooth, honest, charismatic, strong.
Flat out, she's just DOPE. Check out her show 'cause you'll love it, then add her on Facebook and Twitter.
Word.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Dating - You're Too Young to Understand.

You know how this goes.

EXT. RESTAURANT - DAY
Shiny sun. A beautiful day. I sit at a table with a group of beautiful Women. My drink is as purple as my shirt. A nice color on my skin.

As one of the Women gets up and leaves, I strike up a conversation with the Lady sitting next to her --

Me: "So, how's your date going?"
She shoots me a look, as if I asked her an absurd question.
Lady: "Oh, we're not dating. I have a girlfriend."
I'm sure she could see the shock on my face as my mouth drops. She has a girlfriend yet she's been flirting with this woman all day? Hmm, I'm confused.
Me: "Really? I find that surprising."
She gives me a look, ready to defend her actions.
Lady: "You don't understand. You're too young and you've never been in a long-term relationship."
I'm not a fighter, but mean words don't sit well with me. Does she know how long my relationships have lasted? Uh, no.
Me: "How do you know what I've been through?
She ignores me -- not nice.
Me: "I may not know what you're going through, but I do have experience with relationships. May I ask you a question?"
Lady rolls her eyes. I try my best not to take it personal, knowing this is her Ego taking charge. Normally I'd walk away by now, but something is keeping me here. Maybe she needs this...maybe we both do.
Lady: "Sure."
Me: "Are you in a monogamous relationship?"
She pauses, and then --
Lady: "I know where you're going with this."
Me: "Well, are you?"
She's annoyed, but she's pretending not to be.
Lady: "...yes, but there are gaps in our relationship. You don't get it."
Me: "Once again, what do you know about me other than my name and age?"
Lady: "I know you don't know anything about me or my relationship."
Me: "True, but I must say that my parents have been together for over thirteen years and they would never act the way you've been with that woman, which has been very inappropriate."
Lady: "It's not like that. This is what we do. We get together and flirt. Whatever."
Me: "Okay. I am just expressing my opinion, so stop me if you want. But, don't you think that if you're flirting with this woman that maybe you aren't happy in your current relationship?"
Her face turns red and she looks speechless...and vulnerable. Ouch. I can tell that I hit a soft spot as she sits there, with no words in her pockets. And, although she put up a thick wall, it's starting to crumble. How was I supposed to know that my words would get to her?

Looking back on this, I probably should have shut my mouth. Maybe I should have left right after I asked her how the date was going. But, I was hurt. It never feels good when you are talking to someone and they say, "you don't understand, you've never been what I've been through."

Assumptions and generalizations don't feel good. At all. But, just because peeps may fall prey to those thangs doesn't mean you have to react.

I usually let this stuff roll off my back -- "You're so young, just be quiet," or "I'm twice as old as you so don't even open your mouth." Yeah, I am used to this sort of thang. But, at that moment and on that day I felt the need to keep the discussion going. I felt my Ego say, "Don't let her get away with dissing you like that! Get her back!" And sure enough, I did. Without realizing it, consciously, I kept digging and digging at a very sensitive topic in her life:

Her relationship.

And, I can't say that it was a proud moment for me, because it wasn't. No one has the place to judge a relationship. But this is what life is all about. Making mistakes, reflecting, and learning from them. To be real though, even at this moment, I can't help but wonder what made her say such belittling, hurtful words to me -- a complete stranger? Was it a protective mechanism, feeling like she needed to be defensive?

Regardless,

I don't feel like we should ever cut someone down for his or her opinion. Because, it's only words and opinions in the large scheme of things. Plus, words only dig deep when we let the Ego take control, or when it's a sensitive topic. For example, let's turn the tables and pretend I am that Lady who is in a monogamous relationship:

Oh wait, there's no conversation because I would never be flirting with another woman if I am in a committed partnership. Straight up. Yes, it isn't my duty or yours to call someone out on his or her actions. However, when we do and the other person attacks us or acts super defensive, then they are more than likely covering up an insecurity within themselves.

Top 10: No-No's Behind the Wheel

Top 10
Thangs Your Ass Shouldn't Be Doing
Behind the Wheel
1) Writing a novel or updating your status on Facebook, even after you see a cop car next to you.
2) Changing from business attire into a club outfit. Well...unless you're J.Lo...or Halle Berry.
3) Holding and reading a textbook in one hand and highlighting with the other. Uh, no!
4) Shaving your bald head...or other parts for that matter.
5) Mascara = hot. Applying it on the freeway = not so hot.
6) Filming a video on your digital camera of you driving in which you talk about how you're driving and shouldn't be because you'll more than likely kill yourself or others in an accident.
7) No S-E-X in the champagne room.
8) Letting your dog hang out of the driver's window, thus panicking other drivers that he or she will fall on its ass and immediately get run ova.
9) Writing on your laptop! Yo, leave the office at home, folks.
10) Eating, and that includes non-edible items.
Mmmhmm.
Check it - article.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Grocery Store.

I walked behind her
in between the syrup and frozen tv dinners

...she smelled like honeybees, yams, and sweet dreams.

My feet wouldn't stop following her
as she stomped down the aisle
in her loaded cart and mumbling sighs.

Broken face
Worn shoes
Deep wrinkles

It didn't matter when I saw these things as she turned around

because

for those speedy seconds,

I fell in love.

Yes, I'll Take the Caveman, Please.

There's a guy out there in Utah who lives in a cave.

Yeah, that's right. And he's been there since 2000.

His expenses = zero dollars.

(photo found here)

Daniel Suelo is his name. Check out this excerpt from a recent article about him, written by Christopher Ketcham --

On a warm day in early spring, I clamber along a set of red-rock cliffs to the mouth of his cave, where I find a note signed with a smiley face: CHRIS, FEEL FREE TO USE ANYTHING, EAT ANYTHING (NOTHING HERE IS MINE). From the outside, the place looks like a hollowed teardrop, about the size of an Amtrak bathroom, with enough space for a few pots that hang from the ceiling, a stove under a stone eave, big buckets full of beans and rice, a bed of blankets in the dirt, and not much else. Suelo's been here for three years, and it smells like it.

Yes, at first I was turned off by this man. I mean, after all, I'm sure his hygiene is pretty rough and, uh, he hasn't gotten laid in almost a decade.

That's rough.

But, then I read a quote from Daniel's blog:

"When I lived with money, I was always lacking. Money represents lack. Money represents things in the past (debt) and things in the future (credit), but money never represents what is present."

...and my judgments fell off my back like sweat drops in 120 degree weather. Yes, I began to dig this guy, thinking to myself -- maybe we all should live in caves.

He Weighs 555 Pounds.

What if your fourteen year old son weighed over 500 pounds?

Would you blame yourself? Would you enroll him into a weight loss program?

Or, would you ignore the problem and pray that he "grows out of it."

This is Alexander Draper.

He is 14 and he weighs 555 lbs.

(photo found here)

As of recently, he was put into foster care and his mother was arrested/charged for criminal neglect. Yes, many folks are beginning to fault parents for allowing their children to become obese, and calling it child abuse.
Alexander's mother, Jerri, claims she was too busy to make meals for Alexander and told officials he gets food from his friends at school -- not her.
Wow, this is a tough story to swallow. I know from experience that when an obese person wants food, they'll get it. No matter what. But, when the individual is a child it's harder not to blame the parent(s) since they are responsible for him or her...right?
And, let's be real --he didn't just wake up one morning and suddenly weigh 555 pounds. The kid got to that point over the years and his mother didn't do jack. She walked past him day after day and ignored what was going on. That in itself says she isn't the greatest parent in the world. If she was compassionate and caring, she would have done something to make sure her son lived a healthier lifestyle. Like --
1) Get off a few minutes early from work to take a walk with him. Maybe if they talked more, he wouldn't eat so much? We all know that the eating covers up an underlying issue, like low self esteem or depression.
2) Get him involved with a sports league where he can be active, meet kids, and have fun.
3) Buy healthy foods for the house 'cause ya know there probably weren't many veggies or fruits around.
4) Take him to a therapist.
Sigh.
By no means am I saying Jerri's a terrible mother. She's not. But, no one is perfect and we all have room for growth. There were sooo many things she could have done to avoid seeing Alexander get to this size. And yes, I do think it's a fair argument to compare drugs with food. If a parent gives their children drugs/alcohol, they go to jail. And, the same should go for giving them too many MacDonalds french fries because there are some parents who purposefully feed and feed and feed their children out of self hate, vengeance, etc.
There's just no excuse -- not that she's a single parent. Not that she isn't home enough (that's the problem, maybe?). Not that she's 'trying her best'...because clearly she's not. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to look at Alexander's eyes in the above picture and see that his body, heart, and soul is suffering. This lovely child obviously needs love and only finds comfort through food, like many peeps in this world.
Check out more here.

Chris Brown Apology

I'm sure you've seen Chris Brown's apology all over the Internet.

(photo found here)


Yeah...

Umm...

...you beat a woman, Chris.

I need more than a few disingenuous words that your publicist and attorney forced you to say for the sake of saving your career.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A Quote.

"I've missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot...and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

-Michael Jordan

Monday, July 20, 2009

Show - "Intervention"

She puffs computer cleaner and blames it on her mother because she didn't protect her from being molested by her father.

She sucks and sucks and sucks on these cans like her life depends on it, even if someone is sitting right in front of her. And, sometimes, she'll take a knife and cut away at her arms. Like it's food. Ya know, just something that comes naturally.

Shock. Horror. Sadness.

These are all of the things I felt when I watched this episode of "Intervention."

Her name is Allison and she's mad. Even her old grandmother can't stop the girl from charging out of the room when she realized they were all there to get her help for this addiction.

Or her sister, who dealt with the same terrible experiences as a little girl, couldn't get her to stay...not even as she wept on the sidewalk as Allison drove off. Telling her "you're going to die if you don't get help."

That didn't matter to her. Allison wasn't going to listen to them. "We'll take your cats away." Oh, well. She still didn't care.

So, her family called an Animal Patrol Officer to take her animals where they live with Allison in filth. When they came, it wasn't just the cats they were worried about.

It was also her and all of the cuts on her body. And her slurred speech...her unhealthy frame.

Officer: "We're taking you to the Newport hospital. You can either come nice and quietly, or we can put you in handcuffs."

She fought. Hard. But, they took her anyway. My heart broke for her as she fell to the ground. A broken soul torn and hurt from a fucked up childhood.

After a few days, she finally gave in to the treatment that her family offered, saying, "I'm scared of these people. I don't know what to expect."

Two months later

...she's been sober for over sixty days. A brand new woman. As she reads aloud from her journal to a therapist about her fears, I start to get teary eyed --

"I'm afraid of being alone or abandoned. And, the 'cause, um, was being deserted one time or another by one of my parents. It affects my self worth. That I am unlovable and not good enough."

We all have beauty on the inside, and fears. Sometimes we have moments in our life where we hit rock bottom. And, at these moments, having a support system is critical. Allison's family didn't give up, even when she kicked and screamed at them. Unconditional love. Wow.

There are also many of us who have given up hope on another person for whatever reason, thinking it's a waste or that the person is never going to change. But, sometimes refusing to leave and just freakin' being there can turn things around. Yes, don't get me wrong, I understand that there are exceptions; you can't put yourself at risk if someone is abusing you. However, for those who are addicted to drugs or just need a helping hand, consider reaching out.

You never know when they might finally grab on.

Give Love.

Tell someone you love 'em.


It goes far.

Seriously.

Don't Act Black. . .

You know how this goes. I sigh --

EXT. RESTAURANT - DAY
A stunning day in Los Angeles. The sun shines and the wind blows in between the strands of my hair. I sit at a table with a few Friends.

Friend 1: "Yeah, I'm digging your blog but would love a visual element to the conversations you write out."
Friend 2: "Totally man, I agree."
Me: "Oh, for real? Okay, I will definitely start doing that then."
Our new Waitress comes over to us with the champagne we ordered. She looks like a thicker version of Margaret Cho. And, her smile is just as charming. As she pours it into a glass, it overflows. I notice --
Me: "Oh, no. Now you'll have to give us more sangria to make up for it."
Waitress: "Gurl, stop acting black."
Hmmm...uh, wait.....what did she just say?
Me: "Um, excuse me but you don't say that to people. Ever."
Friend 2: "Yeah, come on now."
Waitress: "Oh, gurl, I didn't mean it in a mean way."
Me: "Clearly, but it was still offensive."
Waitress: "Oh. Well, I'm sorry."
She awkwardly stomps away, still not getting how rude her words were. Did she seriously say that to me?
Friend 1: "Dude, what was she thinking? I was a waitress for thirteen years and that shit would never come out of my mouth in a billion years."
Friend 2: "I don't know, but that wasn't right."
I sit there as we start talking about something else. A few minutes go by...maybe ten and I find myself still feeling hurt by what she said. I ask myself, "when I leave here, will I feel bad for not saying something to her superior?" And before I could answer, I was up and away (after I excused myself from the table).
It didn't take long to find a Manager.
Me: "Excuse me, are you the manager?"
Manager: "Yes, can I help you?"
Me: "Yes, I would like to talk to you in private."
She looks at me for a second, knowing it ain't good. We move over to the side where my friends can clearly see us talking.
Manager: "First off, I want you to know that our waitress is a nice woman and I don't want her to face any punishment except for a slight admonishment."
Manager: "Okay."
Me: "Thank you. My friends and I were enjoying a nice meal until your waitress made a racist comment."
Manager: "Oh my goodness, what did she say?"
As I explain the situation to the Manager, I see her face turn into genuine shock. She was expecting something bad, but not this bad.
Manager: "I don't even know what to say. I mean, she's so nice and has a great sense of humor. Sometimes she just doesn't know when to stop."
Me: "I know. I see that she is a decent person which is why I am here talking to you because if she had said that to a not-so-nice individual, a not-so-nice-thang might have gone down."
Manager: "You're absolutely correct. I will talk to her right away and have sangria, on me, sent over. I am so sorry for this. My goodness."
Me: "It's okay. I had to say something so that perhaps she'll learn from this and not make the same mistake. You never say racist, offensive things to clients."
Manager: "You're absolutely right."
I walk away, knowing I did the right thing. And although the Waitress looked hurt after that, I know that in the long run she'll be better off for the experience and knowledge gained.

It's not often that I'll do something like that. And, five years ago I would have never said something. But, those days are gone. I was offended and hurt by her words. Plain and simple. If you don't speak up, no one else will.

But,

I think before we speak up it must come from a nice place in our heart. I had no intention of getting her fired or gaining anything out of it. The meal wasn't even free. Now, if I wanted to make it free, I would have. But, it wasn't about that. We can still get our point across without coming from a negative place. And, often times, that's when we make the strongest impact.

Later, that evening, one of the friends I was with at the restaurant comes up to me.

Friend 2: "Yo, I can't tell you how thankful I am that you went up to her. Like, that was something I would be thinking about tomorrow and wishing I had said something."
Me: "I feel ya."
Friend 2: "I'm proud of you, gurl. You're all, like, growing up 'n shit."
I smile.
Me: "Yeah...I'm trying to."
Friend 2: "It's working. When I saw you go over to the Manager and speak your mind part of me just exhaled. Like, "Thank God." You did it with class and dignity. It was so cool."

And her words meant the world to me.

Cheers. Be kind, please.

Meth Lab Home?

Imagine this is your home.

(photo found here)
It's cozy...
It's nice...
You love it.
Now imagine that you've lived here four years and recently found out that it used to be a meth lab.
Oh, snap.
I don't know what you'd do, but I'd put on some running shoes and jet the hell outta that casa faster than fast.
Like, so fast Lance Armstrong would wonder if he could ride me.
Yes, I'm sure this hasn't really ever happened to you, but it is currently happening to Rhonda and Jason Holt + their three kids. After the family suffered various illnesses (respiratory and kidney problems, migraines), they knew something was up. Sure enough, they found out several months ago that their house was used as a drug lab, and was contaminated with with methamphetamines, which had permeated the drywall, carpets, lungs, etc.
Yeah, that sucks. Hard.
On top of that bad news, they found out the cost to clean their home of the toxins -- $30,000.
Whack. And, I'm sure Rhonda and Jason would have passed on buying their home if they knew its history. Insert hypothetical conversation:
Jason: "I really like this house."
Rhonda: "Me, too, honey. It would be perfect for the kids."
Real Estate Agent: "Great! Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention this used to be a drug lab. Ya know, just stuff like meth and cocaine."
Rhonda: "Time to go."
Jason: "I'll get the door."
Yes, they would have been out of that house ASAP. Here's what Rhonda recently told the New York Times:
"We had no idea that we were starting a family in a meth house," Rhonda Holt told the Times. "We bought a house that eventually was going to sentence our family to death."
Sad story, but at least they got out before any serious damage on their health occurred. I think it's time to establish national standards on cleanup for meth contamination...right?
I'm just sayin'.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Between Life and Death.

This is Jemma Oliver, her husband, Jason, and their two kids -- Codi and Keaton.

She's 29 years old.


With terminal cancer.

What did Jemma do when she found out? Created a "masterclass in motherhood" for her husband to help him raise their two young children. In the last days of her life, she's writing out instructions to help her family after she is gone. Like,

...teaching Jason how to do a French plait in little Codi's hair.


Or

Buying cards to be given to the children on their birthdays in the years ahead without their mum.


And, when Jason didn't know how to turn on the dishwasher or load the laundry, Jemma taught him that as well --


'The house was total chaos until she took me in hand. Then slowly and patiently, Jemma told me what to do. She taught me how to do everything for the children - and for my sake too.


As of recently, Jemma passed away. My thoughts and prayers are with her family. Stories like this make me realize how fortunate I am to be alive.



Live strong.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Can You Fix A Bad Kisser?

Came across an article that claims you can fix a bad kisser.

(photo found here)

Ya know I had to read it. Here are a few points --

Set an example
One of the best ways to inspire a satisfying lip lock is to gently take the lead. Lean in, plant your lips on theirs, and show them how it's done.

Tried that. Ya can't stop a tongue on a mission.

Play the mirror game
If your new love still isn't catching on, you may need to try a more direct approach. When the time is right (not after an argument or a long difficult day at work), snuggle up to your sweetie and suggest you play a little game.

How 'bout we play the game, You-Can't-Kiss-Get-it-Fixed?

Practice makes perfect
Just like dating takes practice, kissing may require some practice, too.

A broken care will always be a broken car no matter how many times you try to start it.

Hmm...

This is a tough one. I've been in this situation and, for me, a bad kisser is impossible to improve. I may like someone a lot, but if we can't kiss then it ain't going to work. For real. Maybe it comes down is this --

Assess the situation
...while exciting, the first time you kiss someone new can also be incredibly nerve-racking. Instead of writing your date off as hopeless, first consider the circumstances surrounding your bad kiss. Was your date nervous, tipsy, and/or in an environment that wasn't conducive to a first kiss (in public, about to jump in a cab, or standing awkwardly at your front door at the end of an exhilarating evening)?

Um...yeah...

Being drunk or nervous shouldn't turn you into a bad kisser. I'm just sayin' . . .

What do you think?

To Chase or Not to Chase

Went out recently and talked to a few ladies about love. We discussed mucho things from heart ache to failing relationships, but found ourselves focused on one question --

Why is it so hard for a woman to act like she likes you when she likes you?

Woman 1: "'Cause they fucking suck. That's why."
She downs a shot. I don't think it's her first, or third one.
Woman 2: "No, no, no. I just think it's about being shy or rejected. As women we don't want someone we like to turn us down."
Really?
Me: "Hmm. I honestly don't know. I mean, this one woman supposedly likes me yet every time we speak, she doesn't say much. And,when I invite her out she says no or that she's busy. Wasup with that?"
Woman 1: "Uh, I think she doesn't like you."
They laugh and even I chuckle. She's right...right?
Me: "Normally I'd agree, but I get a sense of fear as opposed to disinterest or whatever."
Silence.
Me: "Who am I kidding. You're right."
I wave to the bartender. He gets it, pours me a shot. I look at it and immediately don't want it. Where's the wine at?
Woman 2: "Not necessarily. Some women don't know how to hit on other women or men. Or, when they get hit on it's, like, hard for them to react."
We say nothing, feeling like it's awkward but not knowing why.
Woman 2: "Okay, so I may be talking about me. Damn, what am I supposed to do when I like someone? I just don't get how to act or what to say. Things aren't that easy for some folks ya know."
I down my shot. If most women think like her, I'm doomed.
Woman 1: "You're supposed to ask her out. Duh. That's what I do even though they say no or don't show up. Lame asses."
Me: "I don't like having to chase or being chased. There should be a balance and it has to be easy. There is a difference between playful flirting and flat out games."
Woman 1: "Amen to that sistah."
Me: "Don't call me that."
I smile at her and we laugh. Hard.
Woman 2:"I don't see it as games. I see it as...like, needing to be ready and not pressured. I'll just back away more if I feel like there's a ticking time bomb."
Woman 1: "Maybe you need therapy?"
Who doesn't?
Me: "Look. I understand that it ain't easy to put yourself out there, but it's possible. So, I find it hard to swallow to say you can't suck it up and talk to a woman or man you're interested in."
Woman 2: "Have you ever had a panic attack?"
Me/Woman 1: "No."
Woman 2: "Well, it kinda feels like that for me. I have to be ready in my own time to show I'm ready to go out. That may include rejection or even pushing away, but that's how I am. I just have to be ready to say yes."
Me: "Wow."
Woman 1: "Get me a double shot and Dr. Laura, please!"
As she waves over to the bartender, I sit there with my thoughts. For once, I'm left speechless. What if she's right?
Time. Some of us need that while others will stay the same. Yes, in most cases, if a woman likes you she will show it. Exceptions --

-You're her best friend's ex girlfriend (unless she's a backstabbing ho).
-She's reaaally, reaaaally shy.
-There's someone else in the picture called a husband and three kids.
-Her best friend likes you (unless she's a backstabbing ho)
-Just got out of a relationship and isn't ready to move on

And, those are just a few examples. Whatever the case may be, let it be. Don't assume but don't be naive either. If the signs are there that she's interested but she ain't makin' a move, allow her to come to you. But, if homegurl is rejecting your ass and not responding, than move on.

Some of us need a lot of alone time.
But, let's get real. If a woman has anxiety or keeps running away, maybe that's a red flag that she's going through some inner turmoil, and therefore you should keep it moving. It's okay to go slow/not pressure, but we must take notice of the signs in front of us.
She may be rockin' the Chain of Pain, but you don't have to as well.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

E-mail Dump?!

Okay. Look. I understand that we, at times, fall out of love with the person we're in a relationship with.

That's life. That's love. It hurts.

And hey, I even understand that we have moments when we say rude thangz about the other person...ones that we wish we could take back right after the words come out of our mouth.


It happens. All of the time.


But, I have a hard time forgiving Richard Jefferson(NBA player) for the way he broke up with his adorable fiancée, Kesha Ni'cole Nichols --

By E-mail.

(photo found here)



Yes, Jefferson spoke to The New York Post, admitting to breaking up with her by E-mail and offering a "six-figure settlement" to "help her move on."


Wow.


Let me be real with you. I get that Jefferson just ain't that into her, but the way he "dumped" Kesha breaks my heart. And, it upsets me. Why would another human being treat another person in this way? I don't care if he prefers writing down words to avoid conflict. He owes her the respect to sit down face-to-face and express his feelings.


I have an issue with mean, selfish peeps. And boy, this isn't nice. I'd love to understand where he's coming from...ya know, what makes him think this is a cool thang to do? After all, they were in love at some point. They had a long lasting relationship. Doesn't that matter at all to him?


No.


That's the straight up answer. And, women do this, too. Don't get it twisted. I've experienced this before and it makes you feel like, "damn, was this person ever really with me?" To be ignored or treated unkindly after being in a relationship shows you who that person really is at his or her core. So, I say to Kesha --

Be glad for that E-mail. Let it inspire you in the Now and in the future when you're looking for Mr. Right. Avoid being with the same kind of guy, because I'm sure Jefferson gave you mucho red flags...

...they all do.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A Quote.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

-Walt Emerson

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Let's Be 10 Again.

This is Alec Greven.

He's 10-years old.

You may have seen him on television, or read his book.

It's called How to Talk to Girls.

That's right. You heard me. Keep an open mind.


(photo found here)

His journey started with a school project that his teachers loved so much they sold it at a book fair.

It quickly became a top seller.

And, before ya know it, Alec was on Ellen DeGeneres and, after his appearance, quickly got a book deal. Here are a few examples of what this young guy discusses in his book --


How to approach a girl

"I don't really believe in those start-up (lines). I think you should just walk up casually and just say hi, like any person would do. If she says hi back then you are off to a good start. Then you can ask her a question or something. If you are shy, try to go for a talkative girl, you don't have to say much and she will do the rest of the talking!"

Um...yeah...going up and saying "hi" to a woman and having her say it back doesn't always mean she's interested. Not that I know...

How to deal with a breakup
"I say life is hard, move on. That could seem a little mean, but really you have to get over it and then -- why don't you just try with another girl? Some people are like, 'I am a horrible failure' ... just move on to the next."


It ain't that easy, man or woman, to move on.

On pretty girls
"Some pretty girls -- all they care about is how they look and themselves. I think regular girls can be prettier than a pretty girl. Regular girls have other things on their minds."


Awww, how cute and true. I bet he ends up with some psycho supermodel.

Gotta say, I like this kid. He speaks from the heart and that's the most genuine place you can come from regardless of your age. Yeah, there are some things Alec says that speaks to his inexperience, but he always makes a good point. If a woman I was interested in came over and said "hi" I would totally dig that. So many of us have lost that sense of innocence. It should be simple, honest, and pure.

Alec is all of those things + more, which is why I think he's so successful. His words hit you at your core and make you wonder -- can I be 10 again?

Check out more on Alec here.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Strangers and Wine and Hearts.

We are sitting close to the moon. Or, so it seems.

You know how this goes...

Love.

I sit at a bar with a glass of wine in my hands. Merlot. Alone. Thinking. In the corner of my eye I see a WOMAN walk in my direction. She sits down, inches from my leg. I look up.

She smiles a sweet smile.

I smile back.

Woman: "Cabernet?"
Me: "Close. Merlot."
I can tell she's dope. Like, talk-to-for-hours dope.
Woman: "Sarcastic. Knew I'd like you."
Me: "I try. So, what's your deal? Why are you all alone?"
Woman: "Wow. You cut right to the point. Intense."
I sigh, but say nothing. She laughs.
Woman: "Oh, hold up. I know that look. You want to say something. Go ahead. Don't get all quiet now."
I like her...and the way she talks. So open. Or, maybe it's just her energy. Can I drink that?
Me: "Be real --if I wasn't assertive or vocal, you'd probably walk all over me."
Woman: "That's not true at all. I'd totally listen to you."
Part of me wants to say nothing and just stick to my wine. Screw that.
Me: "Oh, come on. If we were sitting down with a large group of peeps having a heated discussion and I stayed quiet, I don't think you'd come over and ask, "what's your opinion?"
Woman: "Well, that's just boring. Of course I wouldn't."
Me: "Exactly."
I love being right. Yet, I don't really care. Not at this moment. I take a sip of wine. Will need a refill soon.
Woman: "But, we're talking about being intense."
Me: "That's your choice of words though. Everyone has a different definition. What is intense to me may be sexy to you."
We smile at each other. Again. I feel like I know her from somewhere. Maybe yesteryear or in my last lifetime.
Woman: "Aight, I'll give you that. But, maybe next time when a woman comes and sits down by your side...
She leans in closer. Smells like marsh mellows and honey.
Woman: "...you can ask for her name."
I sit there, wondering if she's going to leave or stay. But, I already know the answer.
Me: "Hello. I'm Lauren."
I hold out my hand in the soft maroon light beaming down on us. She takes it. Slowly.
Woman: "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Helen and I'd like to buy you a drink."
I'm down for that.
Me: "If you thought I was intense before, just wait."
Woman: "Oh, please. You're all heart on the inside. I can tell."
I exhale, loving that she understands part of me at least. Regardless of whether or not she's gay or straight, she's lovely. Strangers can make the strongest connections, even if it only lasts for a few hours over wine.
Me: "Sure, Helen, you can buy me a drink."
Woman: "Thank you. I don't bite."
In my head, I laugh. They all bite...right? Or, maybe not.
Me: "Good 'cause I bruise easy."
Woman: "Join the club."
We laugh, knowing tonight's conversation is going to be one to remember. Or to forget as the years go by and I never see her again. But, for this moment and for this night, we will be lovers. And, we will know each other's names'.

I feel like we are all self-protective in some way. A few of us only have one night stands to avoid a relationship so that we can get hurt. Others treat people like crap to push 'em away and not deal with anything deep. And mucho individuals, like me (at times), have a tendency to be too assertive or 'intense,' kind of like a brick wall that no one has the chance to break through...unless the person happens to have a hardcore bulldozer.

Ha and sigh and ha and sigh.

Because, truly, it's ironic and heartbreaking all at once. The fears that we carry in and through us. We'll say we're romantics and believers in love. At first sight, or at online sight, but then push away with the flicker of an eye lash. A shrug of the shoulder.

I get it. A lot is at stake. Like, our heart.

So, what do we do? Do we say, "fuck it" and let all of ours guards down without thinking twice? I'd say yes and no. There has to be a balance. We gotta live in the moment while not giving away too much all at once. Kind of like a buffet. If you eat too much too fast, you'll explode. But, if you eat slowly, you'll not only have a greater appreciation for the food but also enjoy it much, much more.

No one is perfect. Damn, I know I ain't. And, I know it's hard not to take past experiences and implant them into the Now. But, in order to have a healthy and long lasting relationship, we must figure out a way to throw out the trash so the house doesn't start stinking up.

Time to go eat...

Laid Off?

Apparently there are a few ways to avoid getting laid off. I don't like all of 'em, but I do agree with these --

Step Up-and Wear Very Big Shoes

Don't wait for someone else to solve your problems. Your manager needs to hear how the organization can trim costs, manage the supply chain better, find a new client, improve processes, motivate the workforce, and deliver the next big thing.
Observe what your competitors are trying and testing, read everything relentlessly, and ask people how you can improve what you do.
Your goal here is to make sure there'd be a gaping hole if you were no longer around. Make the choice every day to do work that really matters to the success of the team and the company. Put yourself in a position that is crucial to the success of a new initiative, or dig in to solve a vexing, long-neglected problem. Maintain a bias for action in every meeting.



Walk Away from the Water Cooler

When straits are dire and headlines scary, the last thing your company needs is negative, gossipy employees who polarize colleagues into an us-vs.-them dynamic. Employers value passionate overachievers whose uplifting attitude contributes to a more energizing team culture. Whatever it takes, keep the negative mindset out of the office. This is your mantra: No complaining, no blaming! Dwell on what can be rather than what can't.



Start Tweeting or Start Packing
Look at the Millennials and see how they work, how they make decisions, and what technology and tools they use. No time for "I don't do Twitter or Facebook." Acquaint yourself with social networks, mobile applications, and commerce platforms to remain relevant. Let them intimidate you and you give your boss reasons to replace you with someone younger and more in the game. Ask a family member to help, take a course, read a book...and dive in.


Hmmm...


Let's be real here. If you aren't on a computer or trying to get with the times then you're in denial, being too damn stubborn, or just plain silly. We must stay as connected as possible, and even though computers aren't very personal, you can still maintain relationships via social sites. It's just a smart and hip way to go.

But...



Let's say you do all of these things that the article mentions. Is it a guarantee that you'll have a job for as long as you want or not get fired? Naw. But, you'll be better off in the future if you implement a few of these tools.

I'm just sayin'.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Chronicles Of A 20-Something, Peace

Sure,

Life is busy and stressful and, at times, full of bad days.

We may not know where to go or who to talk to. On rare occasions, we may even feel lost.

And, that's okay.


(photo found here)
There is no stronger person than you, even if that doesn't feel like the truth yet.
Breathe. In. Out.
Recharge those batteries and go back to work with a new sense of purpose and joy in each step. Don't let those people who are trying to bring you down win the battle. Keep applying to those jobs even you've been unemployed for three years.
You got this. We got this.
Just breathe.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Lotto Tickets And Mistakes.

I think I may need to move back to New York, peeps. Someone in Queens is now a rich, rich person.

How rich?

Like 133 million dollars rich. Unfortunately, though, that lucky individual hasn't made the claim yet for their winning Mega Millions ticket.

Bum to the er.

How disappointing can it be to have the winning ticket and not know it? How do you get over knowing that it could be you?

(photo found here)


There are things you can get over pretty easily. Examples:

-Accidentally throwing away your favorite DVD.
-Getting yelled at by your boss or partner.
-Forgetting to get bananas at the grocery store.
-Farting hella loud when you thought no one was around, but turns at a whole crowd heard it.

However,

Losing a lottery ticket that's worth over 100 million bucks is a tough thang to get over. Like, if I was on my deathbed dying, I'd be thinking: "wonder where that lotto ticket is?" or, "maybe my millions will be in Heaven...or in Hell. F-ck it, I'll go wherever."

No lie, this is a mistake that stays with you.

But,

What if it was meant to be this way? Maybe this person wasn't meant to win that money. Or, maybe someone else who needs it more will come across that ticket and think, "maybe I should check these numbers."

To be real,

There are things in life we may never understand. Like why a mother abandoned her son or why a man murdered his wife. Hell, I wish I understood why I was jobless for so long, but the point is, these things happened and there was nothing we could do about it.

So, you got laid off and live with your parents now because your Savings account is empty. And big deal if you gained ten pounds after a hard break-up. These are life lessons, not mistakes.

Sure, 133 million bucks is a lot of dough. But, tomorrow is a new day and ya never know what the next lotto ticket will bring.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Dating - Women VS Men!

Just read an article about why men don't like to date, claiming they have too many fears to overcome.

Women are like this, too. We're fear central. A pocketbook -- no, more like an Encyclopedia --of insecurities and eccentricities. And, most women don't really do the whole datin' thang.

Relationships these days feel like a race, or a competition:

Woman 1: "Hi."
Woman 2: "Hey, what's your name?"
Woman 1: "Tina. You're hot."
Woman 2: "So are you. Wanna sleep together?"
Woman 1: "Sure, wanna move in with me tomorrow? I had a fight with my roommate who is my ex girlfriend...had to kick her ass out last night."
Woman 2: "Awesome. I'll bring my dog Scooter. Let's visit my parents in San Fran next week?"
Woman 1: "Aight. We can swing by Vegas and get married. It's not that far."
Woman 2: "Why not, I've always wanted to do that. Oh, I just looked up an adoption agency on my phone. I put our names down. You're Tonya, right?"
Woman 1: "Tina, but that works, too!"

Okay, so I exaggerated a little bit, but you get the idea. But some of you might be thinking, "Lauren, I'm sure the article makes a few valid points when it comes to men that don't apply to women as well."

Hmm, welp, here are a few of the fears mentioned in the article --

Fear #1: You'll Come Between Him and His Friends.
Ladies worry about this all of the time. (Look up The L Word.)
Fear #2: You'll Soak Up All of his Free Time.
I loves me some free time.
Fear #3: You'll Pretend to Be Sane and Turn Out to Be Crazy.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard a lezzie say this...
Fear #4: You Won't Respect Him.
It's all about the R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Well, at first.
Fear #5: You'll Be High Maintenance
Oh goodness, who doesn't worry about that, squirrels and transsexuals included?

Let's be real. We all have fears and concerns when it comes to love and dating. Is this person going to hurt me? Am I ready to date? Can I actually be in a healthy relationship? Am I good enough?

Do they like me?

I get it. I do. But, we have to be able to go slow and live in the present, especially us young peeps. We gotta be able to take each person who comes into our life as a new experience, not one from the past.

And sure, we may go too fast or too slow (men and women). Sometimes I may misread the signs or give mixed signals, but in the end, it's all about being the best person you can be.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Late Night Poem

I tasted red strawberries and high heels
On wooden floors

Last night.
Last month.
Last year.

Mixed in with tribal beats and long hair.

Yeah…

The thrusting shook my torso with its
Hum hums and shattering beats.

Over and over again,
I woke up. I wakes up. I wakes woke up.
Her skirt whispering to me, love splatter
Like a trembling octopus
Or a love sick moon --

Cumbia my heart.
Bachata my soul.
Salsa my fingertips.

My brown eyes smile
To the drib drab of her curves and passion moves.

I’ll see her, me, us again. For a brief moment.
For one leg slice
...one fiery spin.
I wonder,
In between all of the sweet sweat and dripping perfume,

Did she also tell
The congas
And the
timbales to eat the room?

Written by me, Lauren Hamilton. 2009 (c).

Blame It On the Cancer.

This is Drew.

He is 29 years of age.

On May 29, 2009 he was diagnosed with Stage III Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

(photo found here)

He has a web site called Blame Drew's Cancer in which eat click will earn a dollar toward the American Cancer Society and the Make a Wish Foundation. Here's what this amazing man had to say about his reaction to the tough news --

"Ever since that day, [I have] blamed everything on [my] cancer. Losing his keys, misplacing [my] wallet, Twitter being slow, the Phillies losing, etc. Why? Because you have to beat up on Cancer to win ... and you can help out."

No lie, this guy is an inspiration and he's real. You can go on his page and starting "blaming" away. We all have something to vent about and it's always good to get out the tension in a healthy way. Plus, it's a good cause.

Click, click.